The Queen's Keeper
by Shadoobie
Summary: (Post Comedy of Errors) Sometimes learning how to live when the war has ended proves to be just as difficult as the war itself. (Rated M for language and adult situations, eventual Femslash)
1. Chapter 1

**The Queen's Keeper**

 **Part One**

She sleeps longer these days. Sleeps deep enough to dream, deep enough to be unable to wake up from them and she hates it.

Jirina often wakes with a start, her skin cool with sweat that she makes hurried efforts to wipe away. She searches briefly for her visor in the pitch black, easing it into place before lighting a lamp on the wall with a spark of magic that flies from between her snapping fingers. For a moment she sits in her bed, that is the blankets and pillow arranged on the floor, her fingers gently hooked against her scalp. It takes a moment for her mind to fully wake and for her body to catch up, her heart pounds hard behind her ribs though her breaths are slow and full. Now without the responsibilities of ruling a country to occupy every other thought, and surrounded by the old scents and sights of Pay's Hom, she can't stop remembering things. So many things she had simply been too busy to dwell on for years.

She stands up eventually, stretching, shoving down her discomfort. After dressing she moves about preparing a suitable breakfast, a meal that just satisfies her hunger but would have easily served two or more average sized Orgs. Her motions are practiced, performed with a pattern of precision from having walked through the routine for nearly two years. She sits down at the table with a full plate and a stone cup of Wyld Root tea, eating with the same versed motions. From her seat she contemplates a stack of stone tablets just an arm's reach away. She hoped to add to it today. But that was for later.

Meal finished, Jirina leaves the house, locking the door behind and sealing it with a minor spell. The last thing she ever wants is someone else going into her home, her sanctuary. So to speak. She walks the paths of Pay's Hom with purpose but no real hurry. Those who pass offer a nod or a greeting which she returns in kind and little else. She reaches the far side of town, crossing a series of wooden gangplanks that allow her to cross several deceptively deep veins of a river to her destination. With a heavy breath she enters the mine, pausing long enough to greet the head foreman and sign in for her shift. Just a short one today, no more than four hours unless it fancied her to stay longer.

One would think not to find her within miles of this place, yet here she was. Jirina would only come a couple days out of the week and not for the money she didn't really need. Naturally she needed a little to keep the pantry stocked and for other such necessities, but she otherwise stashes a little hexite aside for a rainy day -as they say on the surface as it never rains in Wyldern.

The mine is separated into three levels, one going deeper than the next: bronze is at surface level, followed by silver that is split into two wings, and then gold that is broken up in the same way. Jirina tended to keep to the silver level, most familiar with it and therefore somewhat comfortable. Though she considered the feeling loosely. There was never comfort in this place, not for anyone who was forced to work and die here. Though it is a little different now; the miners now choose to be here and work as they please, able to rest when they're tired, eat when they're hungry, drink to quench their thirst. That hadn't been the case before.

Jirina finds an empty tunnel and ducks into it. There's a wheeled cart near the back of it that's half full, an orphaned pickaxe propped against it. Without a second thought she picks up the tool and starts working. She will be joined by two more miners over the next couple hours, the three of them working together in silence.

At the end of her shift she gathers the two bulging sacks of raw hexite she has accumulated and hauls them back up to bronze level to be evaluated. The foreman pays her and she leaves, going home. Jirina takes some time to count and allot the money to smaller portions, setting some of it aside for herself and allotting the rest to small pouches. There are some in Pay's Hom that couldn't work the mines and had no other means of income -the sick and infirm, those without families which were quite numerous- that she tries to help when she can. Whatever is left -if anything- she gives to the school. It's a way of placating that selfless side of hers now that there are no more battles to fight, something that lets her feel useful. The gratitude she receives certainly doesn't hurt.

She returns home again after delivering all the pouches, where she stays for a few hours. There's a large block by the dinning table wrapped up in what looked like a large skein of heavy, wet cloth. She peels back its corners to reveal a hunk of clay that had been unevenly cut at various angles from the top and upper corners. With a long, saw toothed blade Jirina cuts away some more, laying it atop the table to work into shape within the dimensions of a rectangular steel frame. Once satisfied, she finds the only other tool she needs; a metal stylus of sorts with a thin, furrowed tip that she uses to carve into the soft clay. Letter by letter they are arranged in their proper order to form words and sentences one at a time, line after line. She will spend hours writing, taking time to make sure the markings are evenly spaced and level. When one sheet is full she makes another, moving the finished ones to a metal plate that is propped up on a stool beside her. She won't stop until the plate runs out of space.

From here she will do one of two things: either take the plate of soon-to-be tablets to the stone cutter to be fired, or cover them in a wet cloth so they will keep until the prior choice became most convenient. The stone cutter wasn't taking clients at this hour, so she covers them up along with her other tools and clay and leaves the house for the last time.

Jirina tries to make time for herself, to not be busy with anything as normal folks tended to do. She goes to Lake J'rr, a not too far walk to the west of Pay's Hom to swim or fish or a combination of both. It's relaxing enough, though fishing has a habit of making her think about her father -in turn, her entire family. She will return home after she manages to catch something for her supper, even if that means sifting through the mud on the banks of the lake for one or two of the crab-like creatures that nest there.

Much like when she woke she moves about the house with thoughtless purpose, shrugging occasionally as she prepares her food. She eats in silence, her thoughts the loudest thing in the place. She cleans the soiled dishes when she finishes and then moves to her bed, putting out the lamp as easily as it had been lit. Sleep never comes quickly.

It had been like this for nearly two years now. Perhaps it didn't frustrate her now because she had chosen this. She chose to come back to an empty home, to a town full of broken people like herself and to work in the mines again. She chose to come here and hide, though it wasn't much working. Underneath the restored homes and seemingly well adjusted people are the memories, the whispers of the war. And there is no hiding from those.

Tomorrow will start much like yesterday, with an uneasy sleep torn out like a weed by the roots. Jirina rouses herself, dresses, and eats while debating whether or not to work today. It is an even consideration between going to the mine and staying in to continue writing. She would eventually decide to mine, remembering one of the other men on silver level -a widower with two children- was sick. With a nod to herself she gets up after finishing her breakfast and promptly leaves.

She goes about her work per the usual, quietly and with undivided attention, not planning to labor longer than it takes to fill one of the large canvas bags. It would garner enough wages, she thinks, to carry the needy family until the father is well again. It takes little more than an hour to gather enough. While at the head foreman's counter, having her haul weighed, an unmistakeable sound shivers through the mine. A low rumble, bringing particles of dust and stone down from the ceiling. A tunnel collapsed, that's the only thing it could be.

Jirina's reaction is purely instinctual. She abandons the foreman at his counter, never mind her wages, and rushes for the nearest passage down to the lower levels. She listens and watches for other miners, knowing that once the flow of bodies begins stemming against her that she was going the right direction. One man pauses long enough to shout "Gold two!" just as she sprints by.

She comes down the ladder from silver level to gold, finally encounter miners trying to escape. She spots the ones with blood on their faces, smeared with dirt and sweat and trying to shove by to reach the ladder out. She snatches one of them not too firm by the shoulders, demanding his attention.

"Where's the level foreman?"

He coughs before answering. "He was on the other side of it. Three tunnels down on the right."

"Thank you."

A recovery crew would be here soon, but Jirina wasn't going to wait. The minutes it would take for them to arrive was more than enough for someone to die. She hurries down the rough hewn corridor, turning sharply on her heels when she comes into a cloud of unsettled hexite dust. Perhaps a third of the way down the passage sits the pile of stone and hexite that had come tumbling down from above. At first glance she can see pinpricks of light between the rubble and an opening just large enough to put one's hand through near the bottom.

"Anyone alive?" her voice echoes, and she hopes the vibration doesn't trigger another cave in.

"Aye. That you, Jirina?"

"It is. are you hurt?"

"I'm all right. We have two injured," comes a choking answer, "one might not make it."

"I'm coming for you."

"Be careful, girl, there might still be more to this."

Jirina studies the pile briefly, seeming to ignore the warning. Her attention keeps going back to the open space near the floor, the makings of three large chunks of stone landing atop one another. Maybe...

She crouches down and tries the opening, finding even her large hand just fits. With knees still bent she reaches up with the other hand as far as it can stretch, gripping tightly. She finds her balance before beginning to pull with every ounce of strength she has. Her fingers hook into rock, she feels the stone breaking under her grasp. It's starting to give way, she summons a little magic to pull the incredible boulder free. Dust rises up again as debris falls down the pile to the floor and when she sets the rock down just beside her with a hard grunt. With swats of her hands she pushes the cloud of dust around, trying to make out what's on the other side of the rubble.

"The way is clear," she calls out, climbing through, "let's hurry."

One miner climbs through. Then another...and another...a third carrying a fourth on his shoulder...then the foreman with another who is limping.

"Is that everyone?"

"Aye, now you best get out of there, woman, lest you get your skull split. I can hear the ceiling groaning again!"

Jirina knows the sound just as well, quickly turning on her heels to push herself back over to the other side. There's the distinct, cutting _CHACK_ of stone splitting overhead as she gets on steady ground again. She takes three big strides before her instincts force her to stop, knowing the roof was about the drop. What her instincts didn't know was where the split had formed, though it was terribly close. A massive column of rock and hexite came loose and came crashing down, and for a split second Jirina is grateful it didn't fall on her directly. If she had kept moving, it might have as one end of the formation comes down in front of her, effectively blocking her path. It falls back at an angle and catches her right shoulder, putting her on the ground with the force of the impact.

The panic is brief, a second of confusion and sound that her mind can't properly process. Then her reflexes start working again, a pulse of aether working through her hand as she comprehends the incredible pressure bearing down on it. A bolt of light cuts the gloom followed by a great snap like static, and for the first time casting a spell causes her pain. The controlled bolt of energy splits the stone in two, allowing Jirina to pull free with an insistent jerk of her body. She chokes on the dirt and dust in her throat as she pushes free of the debris, tucking her now throbbing right arm close to her chest. With help from the other miners she's back on her feet, but she has no intention of returning to the surface until she knows this level has been evacuated. And she doesn't return home without her earned wages.

Jirina shoves through her front door, kicking it shut behind her with a frustrated chuff. She tosses the pouch full of her day's pay on the table, leaving that matter for later. Her bottom lip is pinched between her teeth at the steadily growing pain in her arm, the discomfort seeming to come from both her shoulder and her hand. She hasn't looked at the wound yet, feeling warm blood coursing down her arm. Instead of that she busies herself with starting a fire in the stove, suddenly craving Wyld Root tea. It isn't until a pot of water is in its place that she sits down and forces herself to address it.

It could have been so much worse, she thinks at a glance. A fierce scrape runs down from her shoulder to her bicep, a smear of bright blue against her gray skin. It's mostly superficial. She touches the joint with her other hand with a hint of pressure, finding something moving that shouldn't. The initial impact must have forced the socket apart. Jirina stands up and forces her hand into a fist, pressing her stone knuckles onto the flat of the seat and pushing downward with the weight of her body behind it. A fresh charge of pain shoots up from her hand, meeting the duller one that comes from her shoulder in the middle. It hurts so much, but she finds it marginally better now.

Jirina looks at her hand, turning it palm up with the fingers splayed apart. The stone is split from just below the seam of her wrist and deep into the palm to its heart. It doesn't hurt _much_ to move it, and the fissure seems small enough...what was there to do about it? She can't count the number of artificers in Wyldern on one hand because there simply aren't any, and such craftsman are the only thing she could think of that could repair it. With frustration she shrugs, looking at the wound with disgust. Perhaps she could learn to live with it. Maybe the phantom pain would cover it up in time.

She will drink her tea and dress her wound before lying down, sleeping through the rest of her day without meaning to. She doesn't even move again until a knock on her door pulls her to her feet. Not knowing who to expect, she reigns in her surprise at the sight of a young boy with a basket in his hands.

"My father wanted me to bring this to you." he says, sounding somewhat nervous. "As thanks."

Almost forgetting, she first reaches with her right hand, feeling a sharp pinch at moving it and pulling it back.

"Are you badly hurt?"

"No." though she isn't sure if that's a lie or not. "Be sure to extend my gratitude for the gift." and takes the basket with her other hand and a nod that the child returns before quickly turning and running back down the path her had come.

Now that she's awake she tries to busy herself. A brief check of the basket's contents reveal an assortment of food, baked goods that her interest piques at. She hasn't had them in a number of years and can't resist snatching up a purple looking roll and sticking it in her mouth. She takes a moment to check the bandage on her arm as she chews, satisfied not to find signs of infection under the linen. Jirina shoves the rest of the treat in her mouth as she goes about gathering what she needs to start writing again.

It hurts to work the clay now, little sparks and pins of pain that shoot through her hand and make her fingers freeze up. She drops the tool several times, growls of frustration growing louder each time. After perhaps an hour of writing she lost feeling in the entire limb and it drops heavy on the bottom corner of the clay tablet, crushing it out of shape and erasing half of what was written there. That's when she gives up. The integrity of her hand steadily declines over the next few days until she can't move it at all. There is just throbbing pain.

With the frustration and pain comes a desire to stay indoors, an instinct to hide her weakness from her neighbors. She ventures into town when she absolutely needs to as there is no longer any _want_ to do so. She avoids conversation at all costs, rarely saying more than hello or goodbye to the scant few that address her. Once behind closed doors she migrates from one corner of the otherwise empty house to another; her bed, the dinning table, the stove and back again. She tries writing with her other hand but can't stomach the attempt for more than a minute, unable to even look at the poor quality of the few letters she scrapes out. When such annoyance gets to be too great she -more or less- sequesters herself to her bed and the few books available. What sleep she can get is fitful.

 _(-)_

"You're... _certain_ you don't need someone to escort you, miss? I'd be more than happy to take you to the bottom of the trail."

"I'm more than able to find my way, but thank you." the Siltherian woman smiles over her shoulder at the sailor that had been so kind to bring her through the passage from the surface to the top of Big Mesa. "Be sure to thank your captain for the lift."

"Y'yes, ma'am, I will...you're _sure_?"

" _Yes_. Goodbye."

Ria laughs off the mild annoyance as she puts her staff to the ground and begins feeling out the path. The average person could take the trail from the top of Big Mesa to the bottom less than an hour, but it takes the blind mage a little longer. She knows when she reaches the roots of the rocks as the solid, packed earth beneath her feet gives way to uneven gravel. It also gives her something to listen to as she end of her staff moves over the countless small stones. And while she knew where she wanted to go, getting there was another story. Just keep walking forward, and the law of averages would do the rest. Thankfully she doesn't embarrass herself by walking into an inconveniently placed stalagmite.

As she walks the sounds around her steadily begin to change, from just listening intently to her own footsteps to hearing something akin to voices up ahead. Her staff knocks against something firm but it doesn't have the same sound as stone. The gentle impact beckons a tone out of the object, like the wood of her own staff. She reaches out, searching briefly before capping the top of what feels like a fence post with her hand. Ria feels around some more, finding the scratchy stretch of rope that joins posts, following it several feet. She will let go, tracking the length of the fence with her staff as she walks. The sound of voices has gotten louder, clearer, she can make out conversations that stop mid-word as she passes by. There are the numerous, commingling noises of livestock coming from all around now as well. Wait...was that livestock?

"Excuse me, miss," Ria stops, a hard freeze of motion as she feels a heavy hand half curl around her upper arm, "are you lost?"

Before she answers she touches the hand touching her, a little jolt of surprise working through her as she feels coarse fur and incredibly large digits. "Oh my, no, not really. Are you Devorian?"

"Yes, miss."

Ria turns to face what sounds like a him, hoping he notices her woven tabard. "Could you by chance direct me to the nearest Org-Ta outpost?"

"Oh." his hand leaves her arm. "My apologies."

"None necessary." she smiles. "So can you help me?"

"It would be my pleasure, miss, though I'm afraid the nearest outpost is roughly a day's travel from here, to the Queen's Road."

"I wouldn't want to inconvenience you...I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Kase, and it's no inconvenience. Please, follow me."

The two of them would make a brief deviation from the path so the Devorian could collect a few things from home for the trip, a little food and water and a blanket. Ria found quiet relief in Kase being so protective, she could feel him always so close by, just an arm's reach away for most of the trip. He would warn her of uneven ground and obstacles she might trip over, sometimes physically pulling her aside so she wouldn't stumble. They exchange conversation in small doses, though it weighs considerably on him as he has so many questions. What is Siltheria like? What happened to your eyes? Where have I seen you before, and, subsequently, what was it like serving the empress? All questions she had no reservation answering. After all, he had been so generous with his time.

They would stop and sleep at the sanctuary in Cyl Og Sul, the priest happy to extend the offer after recognizing the former court mage. Rested and fed, Kase continues to lead her to what had once been General Nagruk's camp, now the headquarters and training camp for the Org-Ta. They are allowed within the walls with little fuss, the gatekeeper taking notice of Ria's tabard without question. Once inside the gatekeeper asks about their business, and all Ria can think to do is ask for one of the only people she knows.

"Mezzick lives here." the older gray Org answers with a nod. "I'll fetch him for you."

She waits patiently, staff tucked to her shoulder. She can still feel Kase nearby, briefly wondering why he was sticking around.

"Miss Ria!"

Happiness bubbles up in her chest at the sound of a familiar voice and her ears focus on the steadily increasing volume of enthusiastic steps towards her. She feels his hands on her forearms first, a wordless request for permission which she allows to him, returning the resulting embrace.

"It's so good to-," he stops suddenly, his tone changing, "Miss Ria, what happened?"

"What?"

"The bandages," and out of reflex he points to the bandages that cover her eyes, gesturing to the mild redness of abrasions on her face even though she can't see him do it.

"Oh, that." she laughs it off. "You know...life happens. I'm fine, really. It's been so long, Mezzick, was that a beard I felt on your cheek?"

"It is." he blushes blue, scratching the back of his head. He has a well kept beard, the longer threads on his chin braided. His hair had gotten much longer and was kept in dreadlocks.

"You're a right man now, aren't you?"

"Aye, and an honest one." he laughs. "I got married, you see."

"Oh, congratulations!"

"Thank you. So what brings you back to Wyldern, Miss Ria?"

"You know, I wanted to visit my friends...see the sights."

"As much as you can, that is?"

She giggles in spite of herself. "Would you be able to escort me to Pay's Hom? Or wherever Jirina might be found these days?"

"Aye, I could. That is, if the wife allows it. Come, I'll introduce you. I mean," he pauses, hand half way to taking hers. "Who's this?"

"Kase was kind enough to bring me here."

"It was no trouble. Will you be all right from here, miss?"

"I will, thank you so much."

"You have my thanks as well." Mezzick nods to him.

"My pleasure. Be safe."

With the Devorian now gone, Mezzick takes Ria's hand and leads her through the camp. She can't see scores of other Orgs staring but she feels it plain enough. It's easy enough to ignore after having lived among Wyldernians as long as she did. Instead she tries to focus on Mezzick carrying on about what he's been up to these last many months aside from getting married. Aside from training and maintaining the newest and ever growing ranks of Wyldern's military, he was also the father of an thirteen month old girl.

Ria thought his wife Siri to be an altogether pleasant woman who greeted her with a reserved warmth that one would expect someone to give a stranger. She was more welcoming after Mezzick explained their friendship, but Ria could hear the lingering uncertainty in her voice. The mage says nothing as the two discuss Mezzick escorting her to Pay's Hom, and in the beginning the conversation doesn't seem to be working in her favor. Still she has confidence that there will be favorable resolution.

"You're not leaving me here alone with Ima."

"I wasn't intending to. You could come with us."

"She's barely more than a year old,"

"And I'm sure between you and I and Miss Ria," he gestures to the mage, "we can keep her safe. It will only take a day and a half at most, Siri."

His wife glares at him through her visor, her lips thin.

"Besides, you've always wanted to meet the empress. Now's your chance."

Even though her eventual response is "I'll think about it", Ria can't help but sense that it was just a cloaked "yes". Which is rather true. Siri will give in given time. The lot of them linger long enough to gather some essentials and have a meal before continuing east on the Queen's Road.

 _(II)_

Jirina hasn't had a proper night's sleep in more than two days, not that she didn't make an honest effort at it. The pain keeps her awake, and there was no making it pass or even take the edge off. Again, it wasn't for a lack of trying. The split in her right palm had gotten a little bigger, she was certain, and she would swear she could see sparks of aether firing in the blackness of the cracks. The flickers seem to coincide with the worst of the pain that shoots up her arm every now and again. And then there's the minor leakage, like a cracked tea kettle she now finds droplets of silvery blue liquid left behind after resting her hand anywhere. She's convinced its congealed aether mixed with her own blood.

She's nodding over her evening meal when a knock at the door pulls her head back up and twisting towards the sound. An indignant growl rattles through her chest as she stands, and by now she doesn't have to remind herself to use her off hand to open the door. The surprise derails her focus, seeing them there, two of which she recognizes and feels her heart hitch. Her knee-jerk reaction is to squash her blossoming excitement and simply extend an arm in greeting, instead of the hefty embrace she wanted to offer. After an exchange of greetings and introductions Jirina allows them in and alerting Ria to the small step up that she could possibly stumble over.

"What brings you? Pardon the mess," Jirina starts fussing about the house, trying to make it look like someone actually lives there. Books go back on their shelves, days old soiled dishes go into a bucket by the stove. Just to keep them out of sight for now, just as she keeps her injured hand close to her side.

"Miss Ria asked me to bring her here to visit you." Mezzick answers.

Jirina pauses for just a moment, but not so briefly as to keep her guests from noticing. "What for?"

"I graduated from the academy, and I wanted to travel...this seems just as good a place to start as any."

"She said she wanted to take in the sights." And Mezzick smirks in spite of Jirina's slump.

"Really, Ria? Still with the jokes?"

"What? I think they're funny." the admission sounds genuine, a smirk curling both sides of her mouth. "But I would be very appreciative if you would -or could recommend someone that would travel with me to tour the kingdom. There's plenty of places I haven't seen yet."

"You don't say?" Jirina finally sees fit to join them at the table, finding a little pride in how her remark makes the mage laugh a little more. "But do you think that's wise? I mean..."

"I never said it was a _wise_ choice, all I said is that it's why I came." Still grinning, she continues, "Life's too short to be worrying about all the things you _shouldn't_ be doing."

"Here, here." Mezzick nods.

"It would mean a lot to me." Ria adds.

Behind the visor Jirina's brow furrows a little, and her eyes exchange between the two of them. Then she exhales. "Very well, if you're so hell bent on doing it. How soon would you like to start?"

"A-are you agreeing to go with me?"

"I am."

"Well...in that case, as soon as you're ready." then she doubles back, "Though I'm not meaning to rush, you."

"You're not." Jirina shakes her head slowly. "I've not been...occupied for some time. Perhaps it will do me some good."

"Thank you."

Jirina nods. "I would offer you a place to...but I don't,"

"It's quite all right, we came unannounced." Siri speaks, patting the baby's back. "Is there an inn?"

"Yes."

"Then the three of us can stay there. No need to impose on you any further."

"You're not imposing. My home is always open to my friends. At least let me feed you...though I will need a few things. It's usually just me, so,"

Siri will pass off the baby to her husband, assuring Jirina it would be no trouble at all to run a short errand to the market for her. She takes Ria with her mainly because she doesn't know what the human eats, if she'll eat Wyldernian food at all.

For a short time Mezzick and Jirina sit across from each other, saying nothing. Ima fusses a little against his shoulder and then settles.

"Your wife seems like a fine woman. Where is she from?"

"Michi." he smiles at her approving nod. "She's actually older than me."

"Oh? When did you meet?"

"You were still on the throne...perhaps several months before you abdicated. Maybe longer."

"I see." another slow nod, her expression neutral. Then it shifts. "I'm happy for you. It's good to see that you're doing so well."

"Thank you." a little laugh. He shifts in the chair, moving Ima into both arms as she starts squirming against his shoulder.

"Are you planning on having more?"

"I don't know. Perhaps." his cradled arms bounce up and down, little hands reaching up for him with a small squeal. "She's still so little...it'll be a while." His eyes lift briefly. "Would you like to hold her?"

Her answer is quick, a shake of her head. "Not that I don't want to." Which she hoped he believed.

"Is something wrong?"

"Aye, I've only one good hand." she swallows before forcing herself to lift her hand and rest it atop the table, palm up. She watches him lean forward in his seat, no doubt eyeing the split in her palm and the blue-silver stains around it. Mezzick's reaction isn't immediate.

"What happened?"

"Bad luck, to be honest." she wasn't about to name it as a consequence of helping those in need. No need to taint the one thing that satisfies her. "It's gotten worse over the last week or so."

"What are you going to do? You can't leave it like this,"

"What choice do I have? Unless you know any artificers that I don't."

"Can't say that I do."

"So what then?"

"Well...couldn't whoever crafted them be able to repair it?" he pauses, pulling his daughter's hand from his beard. "Aren't they the work of Gadgeteers?"

"In part." she exhales, thinking back. "But I would need Xero as well, and I haven't the slightest idea how to go about finding him. Did he speak to you about it before he departed?"

"No. I'm sorry." the lines forming around his mouth show his dismay. "But...if there's anything I can do,"

"Of course. And thank you."

Mezzick knows Jirina well enough to read her heavy shrug as a wordless request to change the subject. No use dwelling on something one cannot readily change. He eventually clears his throat.

"Have you ever given thought to starting a family, Jirina?"

"Not consciously. If I have, I simply don't remember." Then she chuckles. "I believe looking after _you_ will be the closest I ever come to being a mother."

"Perhaps so, as I can see you graying a little." he gestures with a tip of his chin.

"Am I?" she sounds genuinely surprised. Well...she was already more than forty...

"A little on the temples." he laughs, watching her touch her hair. "But, for what it's worth, you were a fine mother. You raised me well."

"I didn't so much raise you as I kept you from getting yourself killed."

"What's the difference?" And they laugh together.

"Although, to be honest," she pauses a moment to catch her breath, "I can't help but wonder who was looking after who at times."

"Indeed."

"I still can't wrap my head around how a boy as small as you...did what you did."

"Suppose you aren't the only one Our Mother favors." One eyebrow rises beneath his visor, a cheeky grin on his mouth.

Jirina inches her shoulders. "Mayhaps."

For moment the words stop, Mezzick tucking his chin look down, placating Ima's still searching hands with his finger. "Jirina?"

"Hm?"

"...Could you accept her too? I mean...if I can call you mother...would you be Ima's elder?"

Initially she says nothing, her good hand propped against her jaw. Then "I suppose I could." and she smiles at him.

After the evening meal Mezzick and his wife go to the inn, while Ria quietly requests to stay. Jirina rolls out a blanket for her in a corner of the opposing her own, a quick grunt of a response when the mage wishes her a pleasant sleep. It was so unlikely, but she accepts it and reciprocates. For the next few hours she will lay in her own bed awake, trying not to focus on the throbbing in her hand. Eventually she rolls on her side, tucking her arm beneath her in the hopes the limb will fall asleep under the weight of her body. Somehow she falls asleep first. And she dreams.

Ria's head jerks up from the pillow. She swears to herself that she had just heard something, like an animal sniffing and snarling at the door, perhaps. She listens carefully for a tense moment, hearing nothing more, and tries to go back to sleep.

There it is again.

It's not coming from outside, but _inside_. Ria rolls over, pushing away the blanket as she moves to her knees. A third time and she realizes what it is. Jirina's talking in her sleep, so long as you define incomprehensible grunts as talking. Ria couldn't make heads or tails of it, though the noises had a strange lilt of words. Perhaps Jirina's mother tongue.

The mage stands up, quietly, carefully navigating the house to the corner where her friend sleeps. Just as carefully she kneels down. Ria can feel heat coming off of her as she reaches through the darkness towards her, she can smell the sweat. She hears the rustling of the she-Org's body twisting under the blanket. Ria feels Jirina's energy, in her own way seeing it, and its flaring bright red and orange like a flame. There's a whistle in the air as it moves over her face, did Jirina just take a swing at her? Ria backs away, standing up. The energy flares again, giving the mage goosebumps. Then there is the distinct _THWACK_ of stone on stone.

Jirina feels her entire body seize with pain as she is ripped out of sleep, the sharp intake of breath forceful enough to threaten swallowing her own tongue. She gathers all her limbs together, curling tight, her right hand tucked close to her chest as her mind registers the hot pulsing coming from it. She can't speak, she can't form a thought. She can barely breathe. When she finds her breath, all she can do is quickly suck in air and push out broken whimpers. Tears are hot in her eyes and they roll down her face.

For a moment Ria can't move, her mind desperately trying to form a mental picture of what had just happened. When she gets nothing but colored static, she clears her throat in hopes of getting her voice back. "J-Jirina...are you all right?"

No answer.

"S-say something, please."

"...It's broken." and the sound is strangled, jagged like the edges of broken glass. She knows it, her mind hasn't registered it fully yet, but Jirina knows. She can feel warmth blossoming across her chest and stomach, knowing damn good and well it's her own blood mixed with aether. When her thoughts finally come back together she discerns the uneven edges of what's left of her right hand. The rest is on the floor in pieces.

Ria smells blood, recognizes it, and feels a charge of panic. "What can I do?"

" _Anything_ ,"

Ria's on her hands and knees, moving across the floor and leading with her hands as she searches for the pieces. It's the only thought she can formulate, to put it back together as best she can. She finds most of them, the biggest chunks gathered in both hands.

"Y-you'll have to help me." she shuffles nervously. All she receives is a grunt of reply, holding out the pieces. Jirina takes them one by one, twisting them in her fingers until the edges line up with what's left of her hand. She harshly takes Ria's empty hand and braces it against the pieces so they'll stay put, long enough for her to pull on the aether and cast a binding spell. There's a flash of white light and the pieces snap together, wrenching a hard scream out of the she-Org's chest that she muffles with a tight jaw. The seams aren't flush, aether and blood still seeping out. But now she can breathe, the worst of the pain starting to snuff itself out.

"W-we can't leave it like this." Ria chances to say, almost too quietly. "...Can't someone fix it?"

Jirina doesn't answer right away, still trying to catch her breath as she cradles her hand close. "Xero. We have to get to Xero."

Ria only nodds and begins to gather her things.

Author's Note: This story is likely going to encompass a lot of things, a lot of different themes, and I'm trying a few new devices this time around, so find a little patience. Hopefully this will sate my foolish desire to be one of the sole members of this fandom. I'm mostly tying up Jirina's story as I have it in my head, and hopefully this won't turn into another hundred plus page mess. Any questions are welcome, and thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Within the hour they're back on the Queen's Road, back toward the imperial city. With the aid of a farmer's wagon and his only Bullrazor (a cow-like creature with tusks and spines all over), Mezzick steers the animal while Ria does everything she can to keep the bleeding under control. Though Jirina doesn't make it easy for her. She keeps it close to her chest and goes rigid around it every time the Siltherian mage even tries to reach for it. Ria feels her energy brush against her like static, little teeth on her skin that makes her think twice.

"I have to close it." she says finally, her breath hitching in her chest as the words come out, waiting for Jirina's response. "You won't make the trip if I don't."

A long pause, finally "Do what you must." It's going to hurt, she knows it. Going to hurt something awful. It would render the appendage completely useless -not that it wasn't already- as the open wound served as the live connection between the prosthesis and her body. Still...there's no saving it now. "Just be quick."

She nods once, muttering an almost too-quiet apology as she takes Jirina's much larger hand into both of hers. Ria feels out the seams, tracing them with her fingertips while chanting the spell, slow and steady to micromanage the energy so it doesn't become too much for the she-Org to bear. Jirina feels a slow, low burn when she expected a spike, quietly thankful it never did. She breathes a little easier as the magic resolves, though her body is still so tight with ache, her entire arm still throbbing.

"Thank you." Jirina exhales.

"Of course." Ria responds with obvious relief. "Is there anything else?"

"No."

Ria nods again, but she doesn't move from her position of sitting on her heels, blue smeared hands in her lap. She swallows, quiet and tense in her own way. "Was...were you having a dream?"

"Pardon?"

"When you hurt yourself...was it a nightmare?"

A dry chuckle. "They're one in the same to me. But yes, I suppose so. Why?"

"You were talking in your sleep. Not that I could make anything of it."

"Hm." she's grateful for that, gods only knowing what she would be going on about when she wasn't awake.

"Do you have them often?"

"If my sleep is deep enough."

Ria clears her throat. "I'd ask further...but I can't help but feel you wouldn't be keen to the prying."

"You would be right." another falsified laugh. "If you don't mind, though, I'd like to sleep a little more if I can."

"Of course. By all means."

The walk to the top of Big Mesa is not easy going or quick. Jirina had managed to sleep the few hours it took to arrive at the roots of the mountain, but it isn't enough to restore her strength after losing so much blood. When the three of them emerge from the cave on South Cartoff she nearly faints when the sunlight touches her. Mind you, Jirina was never fond of how bright it is here, but this time it was simple stimulus overload. Mezzick has to break her fall with his entire body, bracing her across his back until he can set her down with Ria's help. Ria kneels beside her, unwinding the shayla from around her head to drap over Jirina, keeping the sun out of her face.

"There's a ship on the horizon." Mezzick says, standing at the edge of the path overlooking the sheer cliffs. "Coming from the north."

"Can you make out the standard?" Ria asks.

"No, still too far." Mezzick shakes his head. "Does it matter?"

"One will take us to Khelestra, another goes to Dantyr."

Mezzick steps away from the edge, back to the cave entrance. "Where are we trying to go? We've yet to discuss it."

"I know." a little pout. "I just...where could Xero have gone? We don't exactly have time to guess."

"No. But perhaps we should focus on finding the Gadgeteers first. They would be able to care for her until we can find Xero, wouldn't they?"

Her eyebrows reach upward, peeking over the bandages. "I suppose you're right. Then we'll go to Dantyr."

"Then which standard should I look for?"

"...You realize who you're asking, don't you?" and she almost laughs, hearing the distinct slap of the Org's palm against his cheek.

Two ships come by South Cartoff every day. One in the early morning coming from Metaboline and headed from the harbor at Anglerville in Kelestra, the other making the return trip in the late afternoon. It switches the standard on the main mast between trips, beginning with Khelestra's blue and green seal, and returning with Metabolinian purple and gold. Since the ship Mezzick spotted was coming from the north and not the west, they would have to wait for the next one. By then, Jirina is able to make the walk down to the dock and board the ship with a little help.

"You should head back, I think I can manage from here." Ria pauses at the top of the gangplank to say to Mezzick.

"I'm afraid I was going to say something similar. Maybe if Ima wasn't so little yet,"

"It's nothing to be bothered about, your family should come first. Jirina and I are big girls, after all."

"Be safe, come home soon," Mezzick laughs a little, touching the mage's forearm to request an embrace, "and take care of her."

"I will do my best." she exhales, feeling uncertain, squeezing a little tighter than usual to ease the quiet anxiety. "Goodbye."

The first order of business for Ria is to get Jirina into a position that gets her out of the sun and off of her feet. That takes a little improvisation considering the ship isn't meant for long journeys with a number of passengers. Down in the cargo hold is the only realistic option, which suits both she-Org and mage just fine. Jirina props herself up on a collection of boxes, not too close to the porthole allowing for the meager but intense light of the afternoon inside.

"How's your pain?"

"Tolerable." Jirina tucks her arms to her chest, shifting to find a comfortable position. Actually it hurts like hell, but no point in complaining as there's little to be done about it. "You know, there's no need to fuss so much over me."

"I disagree." she returns quickly, folding her legs beneath her to sit on her heels atop another of the large wooden crates. "You're terribly reckless."

"Hardly." Jirina knows where this is going. This particular conversation had a penchant for becoming a big, fat circle jerk. Better change the subject to something more productive. "Where are we headed?"

"Metaboline. I suppose you didn't hear me and Mezzick talking?"

"Suppose not. Why there?"

"It would be easier to reach the Gadgeteers. They should be able to take care of you until we can find Xero."

"I see." she nods slowly. "You always have been quite clever."

Ria feels herself blush, but the heavy shrug that follows the compliment pulls the warm feeling back down.

"I'm...I wonder," Jirina tried, vulnerability in her tone, "they'll likely take my hand. I mean..."

"You're worried they can't fix it?"

"...So it would seem. Among other things."

"Such as?"

"It's...unimportant." Jirina clears her throat, trying to cover it up. "The greater fear comes in possibly being crippled again. It always has." Everything else comes second, even the great pain and impending dependency that she faces. Like waking from one nightmare only to live in another, over and over. "Perhaps you understand?"

"How so?"

"You were not always blind, correct?"

"Oh, yes, that's true. But I was so young at the time."

"But it _did_ frighten you, didn't it?"

"Well...yes, in a way." she nods, the motion staggered as the words form. "It was...the unknown. I had no way of knowing where my life would take me, if anywhere. It only worsened when my family sent me away to live in Bene Brokul."

"Is that far from your home?"

"Quite. A continent away. I had an aunt who lived there." Ria takes a breath, exhaling casually. "I don't blame my parents, they had valid reasons, but I was still just a child...forced into a world I knew absolutely nothing about. It _snows_ in Bene Brokul, where it hardly even rains in Siltheria."

"I imagine that wasn't the only shock you had to stomach?"

"Naturally."

"But it seems you've adjusted well. Unless I'm mistaken."

"Only because I was recruited to the Magic Academy." she continues. "I'd likely be in the same place, weaving wool with my aunt and uncle, probably married off to some...I don't like thinking about it, but you see my point?"

"In a way, yes. Your family coddled you? They were much too afraid of you getting hurt to see if you could be independent."

"I suppose so, yes. Archmage Windleaf helped me find myself. She wasn't afraid of my handicap, gave me responsibilities...obligations once she knew I could handle them." she nods slowly. "Like you."

Jirina's expression visibly sours at the mention of the previous archmage, but she nods all the same with a sound of approval.

"Though...I would imagine that all pales in comparison to what you've been through."

"We're not talking about that. Suffering isn't something that should be competed with."

"Fair enough." Ria agrees quickly, physically withdrawing a little as if she had been scolded. "Still...it offers a different perspective."

"Don't let it cheapen your own pain, it's _yours_ to value as you please, not to compare to others."

Ria feels the need to give thanks, as if suddenly having permission to feel had been something she had always secretly needed.

"Would you change it if you could?" Jirina asks, genuinely curious.

"Pardon?

"Your life, would you change it?"

"Well...no, I don't believe so. Things happening the way they have offered me many great opportunities. There are so many people I wouldn't have had the chance to meet if matters were different."

"True. Then what of your sight?"

"What about it?"

"Say you found a way to have it restored...would you do it?"

She's quiet for a long while, soberly weighing the question. Finally "...I don't know."

Jirina laughs a little. "I can see why that might be an unfair question. I cry your pardon."

"No need. I've thought it on occasion myself...just never came to a definite answer. It's a little complicated."

The she-Org makes a strange face, perhaps confused and failing to see why anyone wouldn't readily choose to not be disabled as she was. Jirina had always been so adamant in being independent and as functional as possible, no matter the cost. To each their own, perhaps.

"How long with the voyage be, do you know?"

"A few hours, should be after sunset when we arrive." Ria answers. "At least that's what the helmsman said when I asked. It might be morning before we can ask anyone about Xero."

"That's all right. Wake me when we arrive?"

"Of course."

As predicted the sun was long gone beneath the sunrise when the ship docks at Metaboline's harbor. There is no moon, but Ria can hear the sailors above deck complaining about lights from Eyre, giving her a sense of relief that the Gadgeteer city is already here.

Carefully Ria reaches out to touch Jirina, feeling the smooth leather of the skin on the thickest part of her arm. She pushes once, twice, waiting for a reaction. She had been so still for the duration of the trip, Ria had to wonder if she was asleep or just pretending. She pushes again, a little harder, and listens to the first intake of breath that's customary to a waking person.

"Hm?" a stunned, inquisitive grunt.

"We're here."

"Oh, yes," Jirina clears her throat. "Help me stand?"

Ria obliges with a nod, tucking her arm around Jirina's and bracing for the she-Org's weight as she gets to her feet. The mage can sense her friend's weakness, worrying that perhaps the healing spell hadn't completely sealed the wound. The idea that the stump had been open beneath the stone in the first place makes her stomach twist.

"Any sign of the Gadgeteers?" Jirina asks as they step off the gangplank and onto the pier.

"Yes, their city is docked here."

"Good."

"Do you feel up to the walk?" she assumed it was some distance.

"I do. I feel better now that the sun is down. Just...help me."

"Of course." Ria smiles to herself. "Does it always hurt you so?"

"Excuse me?"

"To ask for assistance?"

Ria can't see it, but she can sense Jirina's dismay at the question. There's a muffled grumble of a response that she can't make heads or tails of, so she only giggles quietly. But not so quietly that Jirina doesn't hear it.

Their arrival at Eyre is met with a lackluster greeting from a Gadgeteer they do not recognize who demands to know their business. As politely as she can, Ria asks if Clemett is available and that it's imperative that they be allowed to speak with him. For a several moments the Gadgeteer just stands there, though Ria can pick up a faint whistling in the air from seemingly nowhere. It is only after the whistling stops that they're allowed in.

"Clemett will meet you on Recreation."

"Thank you." Ria nods as Jirina pulls forward. "You'll have to lead from here."

"Very well. Though it isn't far. Just keep straight ahead."

Jirina starts to feel the discomfort of being here almost immediately, sensing the change of energy in the air. She's grateful that they don't have to wait very long, reaching half way from the entrance to the lift at the far end of the great and spanning chamber before the lift opens and Clemett comes strolling out. There's a slump to his gait as he adjusts his big goggles, perhaps shaking off his kind's version of sleep.

"Evenin' ladies," it sounds like a yawn, "what can this old grease monkey do you for? Mervin said you guys have some pressing busi- sacred stamens alive!" his casual saunter becomes a hurried stumble as he reaches for Jirina's broken hand with both of his. "What happened?"

"I broke it...by accident."

"I certainly _hope_ it was an accident! For Makers' sake! Come on, we've got to get this checked out."

Ria hears the whistling again as she's dragged along behind Jirina who is following Clemett at a brisk clip towards the lift. She hears the heavy jab of Clemett's finger to the console on the wall, the lift starting upward to the Occupation level. All the while the Gadgeteer peppers them both with questions, bothering to hear Ria's answers because he knows Jirina will downplay and dance around everything.

The area beyond the lift is white and sterile smelling, much like the Habitat level several floors above them. A long corridor stretches ahead of them, doors lining the walls on either side. The three of them take it about half way down, turning right and stepping through the door that slides back for them. Ria feels Jirina's body tensing, her large bicep jerking under her small hand as they move over the threshold and the door closes behind them with a whisper.

Jirina already disliked Eyre, but this place she _hates_. Its other-worldliness disgusts her. The Gadgeteers call it a lab, but by whatever the name, it feels less welcoming than the most vile dungeons Jirina has ever seen and occupied.

There are more rooms within this one, more labs dedicated to specific experiments and functions. Clemett leads them through to one of these adjoining spaces where there's a seven foot long desk full of monitors and keyboards, all of them flashing and making noise.

"You know the drill, big gal." Clemett seems to shrug, his big hand gesturing to another room within a room, this one behind a large pane of glass. With a low growl Jirina pulls away from Ria and pushes through a swinging door. She sits down in the lone chair on the other side of the glass and sets her right arm up on the pedestal in front of her. There's the click of an intercom.

 _"Palm down, please."_

She complies with a grunt.

 _"I'll try and do this as quickly as I can."_

"Just do it, mechanic."

What Ria would have given to see what in the blazes was happening. Instead she asks.

"It's called an X-ray. Something like that anyway." Clemett responds, punching the console with one finger. "This medical stuff is still kinda new to me."

"You're not a doctor?" the mage frets aloud.

"I'm a Gadgeteer, and that can mean a lot of things. Like humans we have specialties, talents...but we have the capacity to learn _anything_ we want."

Ria follows his voice, her awe at his admission stretching her features as she moves around the console -after bumping into it. "That sounds...incredible."

"Most of us don't go too far with it, though. A few, but...Jack of all trades just doesn't sit well with us on the whole." he pauses, pressing another button. "Turn your hand over, darlin'."

 _"Don't call me darling."_

He laughs to himself.

"So what does this...thing do?"

"It takes pictures. Most materials absorb the energy it puts out, but stuff like bones reflect it, creating an image. Let's us see through certain things."

" _No_ , you're kidding!"

"Not in the least. We've been working on all kinds of imaging technologies. This one's a little dated, but we still use it because it's so safe to use on you organics."

"Us what?"

"Humes and Orgs and the like."

"I see."

He chuckles again. "Speaking of which...how long those bandages been on? Five...eight weeks?"

"Ten." she responds with an easy exhale.

He nods slowly, punching another array of keys in front of him. "About time to get those off, innit?"

"I think so."

"Who was your tech?"

"Um," her chin dips momentarily, "he had a funny name...Giro?"

"Oh yeah, I remember. Once we're done here I'll call him, he'll want to have a look at you."

"All right." she takes a breath, shifting on her feet. The movement doesn't go unnoticed.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Um, no, just...anxious I suppose." she tries to pass off her insecurity with a little squeak of a laugh, but feels as though she fails.

"You worried the surgery didn't take?"

"Not really." it's the truth, at least she believes it is. "I'm just...what will she think?"

"She who?"

"Miss Jirina?"

"Oh, well...dunno. Can't say I'm privy to that sort of information. Not that anyone _is_ , but," his shoulders inch upward, bouncing. "What does it matter?"

"I just...I don't want to change what she thinks of me."

He's quiet a moment, processing the thought. He's finished scanning Jirina's hand, but refrains from calling her out of the room for now. Taking a breath he tries "I wouldn't worry about that so much. Unless you've done her dirty, I doubt she'd hold this against you. Besides, it's not like you were born blind."

Though she fails to see how that has any bearing on the matter.

"Just don't try to hide it from her." he shakes his head with certainty. "I'm not saying she has a right to know what you do with your life, but if she brings it up you best come clean. Just my opinion, of course."

"No, it makes sense." she nods slowly, clearing her throat. "So what do these pictures say?"

He just goes along with it. "I've only gotten the first one, but there's no bone damage, which is great...but there's a lot of micro-fractures going on. They're forming all over, not just around the major breaks." he shruggs, "the stone is starting to break down."

"That doesn't sound good."

"'Cause it isn't. What caused the initial break, do you know?"

"She said it was a mining accident."

"But there was a secondary occurrence, wasn't there?"

"I think she was dreaming, but yes. She struck the floor with her hand and it broke apart."

Clemett nods, a little groan working through him. He activates the intercom again. "I want a look at your other hand, big gal. Gotta check somethin'."

 _"_ Then _you will be finished?"_

"Here's hopin'." Several minutes pass as he takes more pictures and waits for them to come up on the screen in front of him. His heavy exhale doesn't insinuate anything good. "Yeah, her other hand's showing it too. Shit."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that this isn't going to be a simple repair job." he hits the button for the intercom for the last time, telling Jirina to come join them. He watches the she-Org's face, the lines around her mouth deepening when her eyes settle on him. "It isn't good, darlin'."

"I imagined not. So?"

"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to do another series. All the prosthesis are starting to break down so...you'd just come back in a year or so to do this all over again." he feels himself tense as her other hand clenches into a slow fist.

"So much for your Gadgeteering."

"Hey now, these weren't built to be permanent." he catches her scolding gaze and quickly tries to work more words out of his mouth. "It was a desperate time and we did the best we could with what we _knew_. But that was _ten years ago_ , in technology that's more like _millennia_. We can do better now."

"And you're expecting me to just _go along with it_?"

"Well you don't have a lot of options, 'cause I know you like one of 'em a helluva lot less than the other."

Jirina's grimace tightens further, teeth flickering between her lips.

"C'mon, big gal, you can trust me. It won't be as hard as before, I promise."

She's quiet a moment. "As you say, what choice do I have." her tone is one of defeat, full of bitterness. "So where do we begin?"

"First of all there are a few more tests to do, then I need to touch base with your surgeon -you remember Vic?"

"Marginally."

"Once he gets your results he'll be able to tell you more about what he'll need to do. Otherwise we'll get you set up real cozy for an extended stay. I know that's the last thing you want,"

"But what I want is irrelevant."

"No it isn't," he corrects quickly, "what you want matters a lot. At least to me. I'm gonna do the best I know how, and for the time being that means making you as comfortable and stress-free as possible. With that being said, I suppose I got my work cut out for me."

"Indeed."

"But," he moves across the room to stand in front of her, having to tip his head back to look up and meet her eyes. "I can't do any of that without your say so. You can walk right out if you want."

"That would be laughably foolish, mechanic." though she sounds far from amused.

"Yeah, maybe so...just...I know you hate it here."

"Yet here I am. Can we get on with this? It isn't like you to dawdle."

"You're right. C'mon then, let's get those tests runnin'."

"To another of your... _labs_ then?"

"'Fraid so."

"Any more than this and you're carrying me the rest of the day."

"Hah! Threaten me with a good time, why don't ya?" The three of them leave the room and cross the corridor in a straight line. Clemett shows Jirina inside, asking her to wait just long enough for him to fetch the proper tech for the job.

Clemett has Ria follow him, handing her off to her tech Giro. The Gadgeteer could easily be Clemett's twin, as all of them could be, if it weren't for the tan colored utility shirt he wears that separates him from the others. He's soft spoken, eloquent, everything Clemett is not, and he gently takes the mage's hand and leads her on to an examination room. He helps her sit down after propping her staff on the wall and settles onto a cushioned stool in front of her.

"Experiencing any pain since the surgery?"

she steadies herself with a breath. "No."

"Good. Any headaches or nausea? Blackouts? Memory loss?"

"No."

"What about the incision sites? Any irritation?"

"No."

"Excellent. You ready to take the bandages off then?"

She only nods, her heart starting to hammer against her ribs, hands wringing together in her lap.

"I'm going to turn the lights off, Miss Taj'hal," he starts before she can feel his hands on the side of her head, "so don't panic if you can't see anything right away. I want to do some basic tests to see if the procedure was successful."

"Of course." and she swallows hard, feeling the pressure around her eyes gradually lessening. Out of some untrained reflex she screws her eyes shut, in part mortified and in part thrilled.

"Okay so far?"

"Yes."

"Open your eyes if you haven't already. I'm steadily going to turn up the intensity of the lights, once you are able to see me in front of you -even if its a vague shape- tell me."

"All right." and she waits. Her leg bounces anxiously on the ball of her foot. All she can see is just blackness, business as usual. Oh gods, did it not work? How long was this supposed to- "Oh, wait...there you are." she sucks in a breath, her mind suddenly in a tizzy.

"Excellent." then he touches something, key pad on his arm, and the room goes pitch black again. "Now, without moving your head, I want you to look directly at the lights. Ready?"

"Yes."

Giro has a light pen pinched between his big fingers. He moves his hand from place to place, clicking it on and off and watching for the expected instinctual movement of her eyes to it. "Good. Now close your eyes, I'm turning the lights back on. I want to see your ocular reaction."

She complies, anxious.

"Open them."

Ria can't help but wince and cringe away from the wash of white that overwhelms her vision. "Oh my,"

Giro laughs. "That's actually what I was expecting, that's good."

She blinks and blinks, trying to pry the lids apart and ignore the instinct to keep them shut. "It's a little...uncomfortable."

"I know, my apologies." he nods. "Now look at me if you can."

She tries, eventually able to do more than squint at him. His blurred features come into focus bit by bit, going from a khaki colored blur to a more defined smudge and eventually a defined figure. The glimmer of his goggles catches her attention first. She has to fight the habit of touching his face, pausing on the dethroned necessity of doing so. So this is a Gadgeteer?

"Without moving your head, track my finger." he holds up one digit and starts moving his hand, making a figure eight in the air that changes direction and shape several times before he's satisfied. "Just two more things. Thank you for your patience." he starts typing on his arm again. Using the device he creates colored holograms that hover between them, asking her to identify any colors she sees. He needed to be sure she wasn't colorblind. After that he pulls up a graph of Siltherian letters of various sizes for her to read. He takes what results he can from this test as while Ria can see them just find, she cannot actually read them -being blind for so long she has forgotten how.

"All things considered, Miss Taj'hal, I think we can rule the operation a complete success. Though I apologize for the scarring."

"Of which I care not a bit." she laughs, her happiness finally starting to overcome her composure. "Thank you so much," her eyes are reddening, tears threatening as she wipes them away with her hand.

"And thank you for allowing me the opportunity. We'll be able to help a lot of people with all the data I've collected." he nods. "Now be wary of any headaches or blurred vision for the next few weeks. If there's a pattern I want you to get in touch with me as soon as possible."

"Of course." she almost snaps to her feet, snatching her staff in one hand and clutching it tight. "You know...not to sound rude...but you Gadgeteers are _awfully_ strange looking."

He laughs, standing up. "No offense taken, though I imagine you'll be saying that a lot today. Will you be in Eyre long?"

"Off and on, yes." or so she assumes.

"Just wanted to know, I may want to check on you time and again, just to see how you're doing. Now, by all means, go have a look around."

She bursts out laughing, tears rolling down her face.

Authors Note: Don't misunderstand me, I'm all for people accepting the way they are, etc. etc. I don't see handicaps as needing to be "fixed" or "cured". It's part of the story, regardless of how much a difference it makes. It's my baby, and I shall rock it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

Jirina's body language gives away her mood just as pain gives away the presence of a wound. For the last hour and a half she has been poked and prodded and scanned by -possibly- every damn machine in the city, and she is reaching her limit. She sits, hunched, arms crossed and chin close to her chest. Beneath the visor she scowls, trying to keep her patience as Gadgeteers continue fussing over her. It's like having an itch you can't reach and won't go away. Something you hurt someone over, and she's _this close_ to doing just that.

Clemett tries to keep her distracted, sitting in front of her and talking to her. It doesn't work as well as he hopes, which part of him expects. All they have to talk about is old war stories, and he has a sinking feeling that's the last thing she wants to go back and forth with. Jirina starts asking for Ria, where she is. At first he tries a diversion, changing the subject or acting like he didn't catch the question. Then he straight up fibs and says she's gone to ask around about Xero. He knows better -damn it, he _knows_ \- but he doesn't feel like it's up to him to rat the girl out.

The Gadgeteer tenses when Ria comes into the room just as the tests conclude, all the phials of blood and other samples gathered up. He sees the mage assume a similar tight posture, catching the weight of both of them looking at her.

"Did you learn anything?" Jirina asked, sounding noticeably calmer now.

She tries to keep her eyes forward, not letting them track all the things moving around her. "Um...learn from...?"

"The mechanic said you were searching for leads on Xero. Did you find anything?"

"Oh, oh no," she starts breathing again. "I forgot that it's still the middle of the night. No one's up to ask."

"Ah. An honest mistake for you, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry, did you need me?"

"I think she would've appreciated the company." Clemett answers for her. "These things tend to wear her pretty thin." He stands up, offering the she-Org a helping hand. "So how about we get you ladies squared away for the night?"

"Could I eat something first?" as much as Jirina detests the food here, she can't stave off the hunger.

"Sure, big gal, I'll take care of it. Once we get you a place to lay your head I'll have something sent up. After that I'm gonna help these squints so we can get the results through."

Ria tries not to stare at everything, convinced she's still playing off her handicap. She takes Jirina's arm per the usual, keeping her eyes forward and leading her steps with her staff as everyone knows she does. But she _wants_ to look so badly. There's just _so much_ to take in now, it's almost dizzying. Her eyes keep moving to the panel of buttons as they ride the lift to the Habitat two floors above, shifting her gaze between that and the Gadgeteer -named Mort- who works the machine. The desire ebbs a little as they exit the lift, the Habitat floor much more still than Occupation. Gadgeteers didn't need to sleep that often, if at all, so it makes sense. At least she thinks so.

Secluding themselves to their private quarters serves to worsen the temptation. Jirina helps her find her way to sit on the edge of her bed, and all Ria wants to do is watch her. Her heart hitches every time the she-Org faces her, almost expecting Jirina to pick up on the subtle change and address it. But it never comes, Jirina fusses with the mattress of her bed, trying to wrestle it to the floor with one hand as she prefers to lay on the solid metal slab of the frame. She tosses the pillow and blanket down before she sits. "When did you get the bandages off?"

Ria jumps a little, hoping Jirina didn't notice. "One of Mr. Clemett's friends took them off."

"Good to see you weren't hurt too badly."

Ria only smiles, failing to find a suitable joke or play on words. It would've been a great time for one, anything to control the quick and heavy throb of her heart.

 _Just say it. Tell her. Spare yourself the trouble._

She opens her mouth, the first word half forming before she has to stop. There's a knock at the door before it slides back to reveal an unfamiliar Gadgeteer. Her mouth eases shut as she tries to keep her gaze fixed at the floor, refusing to follow the movement of Jirina fetching her dinner. She pushes out of her shoes, focusing on that instead. Ria doesn't try again until Jirina finishes eating, knowing conversation and food rarely go hand and hand with her. As she waits she finishes dressing down and lays on her back, staring at the ceiling in good confidence that it won't give her away.

"Something is bothering you."

"Hm?" Ria feels herself tense. "How so?"

Jirina sets the now empty tray on the floor, clearing her throat as she tucks her legs up and crosses them. "You seem anxious. What's the matter?"

 _Now's your chance. Might as well take it._ "...I'm just concerned."

"About?"

"...There is something...I need to tell you." she takes a breath. "But..."

"You think our relationship will change."

Ria feels herself blush. She can't speak.

"You can see, can't you?"

She chokes a little, half sitting up and snapping her head to look at her. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, that's why I asked." then she smirks. "But now I do. Besides, you think I don't know a white lie when I hear one? Yours are only marginally better than the mechanics."

Anxiety paints the mage's features. "Are you...you're angry with me, aren't you?"

"Why should I be?" Jirina takes a deep breath, contemplative. "It's your life."

Ria swallows, sitting fully upright with her body turned towards the other bed.

"It doesn't change anything, Ria. Not between us. Only now you'll need a new excuse to hang on my arm like you do."

She blushes again, harder. "W-well...look at how tiny I am. I need protection."

"Hah!" Jirina slaps one thigh with her good hand. " _That's_ a lie! Now sleep you silly woman, before you have me believing your nonsense."

Ria laughs with her briefly, watching as Jirina lies down and rolls over. Still smiling Ria stands to move across the room and put out the one light above them in the ceiling. It was easy making it back to the bed in the dark, the circumstance still familiar. The mage lies down, working the blanket over her as she settles on her back again. And for a moment she just thinks, her hand covering her eyes in realization. She exhales with a quiet laugh and then tries to sleep.

()

Windleaf comes to Metaboline a few times a year, mostly in the summer and spring and once in the winter to collect plants and other materials for her potion making. Otherwise she divides her time and energy between Treeside and the academy, teaching the craft to the students. She takes her time working through the man stalls in the castle marketplace, knowing what she was looking for yet having next to no success in finding said items. That, or what she finds simply doesn't meet her standards. At this rate she would have to all but beg the Dendrokin to trade with her. Not a prospect she looks forward to.

She stops in the early afternoon to eat, sitting at one of the other stalls with a bowl full of the local favorite: steamed dumplings stuffed with gods knew what. She never asked, thought it might tarnish her high opinion of them as she was mostly vegetarian.

"This seat taken?"

Windleaf doesn't look away from her food, but nods. "Help yourself." she wouldn't be here much longer anyway.

"Oh, Miss Windleaf!"

She chances to look, her expression instantly stretching. "Riada?" she immediately notices how the younger mage is actually _looking_ at her, her rich brown eyes actually moving from her face to the bowl in her hands and back again. "...You can see?"

"I can! I mean, I wasn't sure it was you because -well you know why- and then I heard your voice and," she stops, realizing she must be rambling, "...I never thought you old enough to have white hair."

"I'm not." Windleaf is still showing signs of her surprise in the hesitation of her response. "But...when did you...what happened?" She listens intently as Ria explains everything, the look on her face steadily easing. Windleaf had no idea the Gadgeteers were able to do things like that, but on a second thought she decides it shouldn't surprise her too much. It all fits together in her head when she makes out the little pink ribbons of scars near her temples, almost hidden by her dark hair. "I'm happy for you, Ria. Really."

"Thank you." she's smiling hard enough to make her cheeks hurt. "I could hardly sleep last night, I couldn't wait for the sun to come up again so I could come outside and _see everything_. It's so beautiful here!"

"Metaboline's nice." Windleaf nods. "Speaking, of which, what are you doing here?"

"Aside from needing to get the bandages off," Ria tilts her head, "I _was_ in Wyldern a couple of days ago, visiting you know, and then...Jirina had an accident."

"Is she all right?"

"Yes and no. It isn't...one of her hands are broken."

"Oh no." her concern is strangely genuine. "I'm assuming the Gadgeteers are going to fix it?"

"They can't. According to Mr. Clemett they will have to do the surgery again."

"Poor woman." Windleaf hadn't been present for the first one, though she always had an idea that it was...quite _something_.

"We need to find Xero, he would be able to help." Ria exhales. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is these days, would you? I mean...I know he took the ship with me back to Khelestra, but I lost him after that."

Windleaf thinks for a moment. "If I had to guess...I would think he went back to Siltheria. That's his home, isn't it?"

"I believe so."

"Then I would think it as good a place as any to start looking. I'll talk to my husband about a ship."

"Oh yes, you married the admiral, didn't you?"

"Last year." she nods.

"Congratulations." Ria sounds genuinely happy for her. "So how long do I have to prepare?"

"For what?"

"Surely you don't think I'm going to just sit here and let you do this _for me_."

One snowy brow raises. "Aren't you needed here?"

"I'm sure they'll be fine. Should only be a few days, right?"

She smiles a little. "All right, let me finish my errands. You should eat before then, who knows how long we'll be at this." Then Windleaf finishes her food quickly, trying to enjoy it as she shovels it down.

She had always liked Ria, reminiscing about the girl she had met over ten years ago. As she offers a temporary farewell, standing up from the stall to start walking again, she lets her mind travel back to the little snow-capped mountain town, Bene Brokul. During the war Hokum had often sent her out to fetch new students for the academy, mostly young children that he thought would be easily groomed. It was, strangely, both the most and least stressful of her duties. Easy in that most of the time parents wouldn't argue with her, some even excited to know their son or daughter was good enough to study at the academy. But the few times she had to make threats to coerce their cooperation liked to suck the life out of her.

 _I'll have to come back. And it won't be pleasant._

Windleaf mentally cringes, shaking the thought from her head.

Riada's aunt had seemed somewhere in between those two extremes, neither defensive or welcoming of her rather outrageous request to take her. Maybe, in some way, the older woman thought it for the best. If her blind niece could make something of herself, in this fashion or any other, so be it. She had let her take Riada with little hesitation or exchange, asking only that Windleaf take care of her. The then archmage had promised to do her best. Once she had adjusted to life at the academy, Ria showed as much an eagerness to learn as she had done so offering a helping hand moments ago, the look on her face sparking Windleaf's memory. Windleaf had been so surprised then, surprise that steadily grew into admiration and a strange form of maternal pride.

 _She's blind, lord Hokum._

 _Oh? Hm. Shame. Well...we'll see. Maybe if you train her hard enough I'll be able to use that to my advantage someday. Make an honest effort, won't you?_

 _As you wish, my lord._

WIndleaf had known Riada could -in a sense- see auras, but she did her best to keep it from Hokum. If he found out just how talented she was he would have likely taken her as his apprentice and...she just couldn't bear the thought of that. His last apprentice had died rather horribly, another young person she had tried to keep from him and failed. All that was left of the poor boy were pieces just barely big enough to put in your pocket.

She would falsify reports and pray he didn't catch the lie, she would convince Ria not to let him see her full potential on the scant few visits he made to the academy, even going so far as to beg her to wear aether inhibiting charms. It was anything but easy, it had been terrifying, but it had been so worth it. Windleaf's success had offered her a little taste of redemption.

Windleaf fails to find a majority of the components she needs, but finds no trouble in it. Things like that can wait for another day. She fetches Ria on her way back through and they go to the harbor together.

()

"You want to see the x-rays?" Clemett asks, holding what looks to Jirina like a tablet, but it doesn't appear to be made of any material she recognizes. It's light, fragile looking, and has a glossy sheen all over.

"No." she answers with little hesitation. "Just tell me where I stand, please."

"Okay." his head bobs in a single nod. This would have been Vic's job, but it was more of a sort of courtesy to her that Clemett sits in the chair across from her now. Someone she knew, trusted. "Like I said, those things weren't built to last much longer than you've had them. They're breakin' down as we predicted. Thankfully, though, that big break didn't cause any serious injury to the underlying flesh. I mean, yeah, it opened up the stump again, but Ria took care of that. Nice job on her part, by the way."

"So what now? You spoke of another...operation."

"Yeah. Makers willing you'll only have to go under once," the original procedure had been in three parts, "about ten hours, fifteen at the most."

"And these?" she taps her forearm with one finger.

"Once we can get a hold of Xero we'll have him take them off." he's the only one who can, they have no other choice.

"And if you can't?"

"I'm sure a city full of squints can think of something."

"That's not very comforting."

"I know. I'm sorry." he shrugs. "But once we get these prosthesis off we can begin the operation immediately after, barring any emergency."

"What sort of emergency?"

"Major hemorrhaging, severe shock, things like that, but that's to be expected with major transplant procedures like this."

Jirina nods slowly, processing his words for a moment. "So...there will be...replacements?"

"Yeah, we're working on them right now, it'll take a few days before they're ready. All the testing we've done with the technology so far has had really great results, and our data regarding gray Org physiology is ten times more accurate than before."

"Good to know."

Clemett swallows, his goggles now angled towards the floor. "You know I...still feel real bad about that."

"I would imagine so." she tips her chin.

"I can't help but feel like that...hurt our trust a little."

"Perhaps." she takes a slow, easy breath. "But I forgive you. Have I not said so before?"

"You have." he nods. "Still, I know you...I know a part of you doesn't."

"Be that as it may, I still trust you more than most. I'm trusting you now." she shifts in her chair, bracing her elbows on her knees and leaning forward. "If you tell me that I am in good hands -to coin a phrase," a breath escapes, mimicking a laugh, "I will believe you just as I did before. If anything, I should have more confidence in you since -as you say- you know more."

"True enough, but I still feel the pressure. All I want is to do right by you."

"And I appreciate the thought. Really. But you must excuse my cynicism, it's just my nature."

"Don't I know it." he chuckles. "But all things considered, this surgery should be a walk in the park compared to the first series. Your down time will likely be longer, a month at most, and a lot of it is going to be spent confined to a bed."

Jirina's brow furrows beneath the visor. "Why so long?"

"We're going to have to do reconstruction from the ground up; nerve ending reconnection, artery grafting, the works. But the second you can start moving around on your own, I'll see to it that you do. And I'm buyin' you a beer as soon as Vic clears you to have one."

She smiles. "That's very thoughtful of you, mechanic. I think I would like that."

"Good, try and keep that in mind, giving yourself something to look forward to will help you stay positive." he exhales with a little laugh, feeling some of the tension in the air dissipate. "Now is there anything in particular you need or want, anything to make this whole thing easier for you? If that's even possible..."

"Just... _please_ ," her gaze shifts away, "make certain I don't wake too soon. That and...could I not be alone afterward?"

"Oh yeah, you bet. I'll make sure someone's with you in recovery. I can do that." he hurries through the answer, his big gloved hand on the back of his head. "And I'll be shadowing the tech in charge of keeping you under, I'm gonna watch him like a hawk, okay?"

She's quiet a moment, lounging back in the chair, arms crossed again. Eventually she nods. "Thank you."

He nods, clearing his throat. "We can't really do much else until we can get Xero on board, but I thought I should let you know how things are coming along. Do you have any other ques-," Clemett stops, head half turning. He's receiving a message. "Riada's back...she wants to talk to us down in Recreation."

"Ah." Jirina's tone changed, even her posture. She seems more relaxed. "What were you going to say?"

"Just wondering if you had any other questions." he stands up, pushing the creases out of his clothes.

"Not now." she copies his movement, stretching as she straightens.

"No need to rush, I'll make time as we get closer to the surgery in case you do."

They leave the room and walk the corridor together to the lift, riding it down to Recreation. By the time they stop off they're in the middle of some casual conversation, going over some story and politely arguing which version of it is true. Clemett is laughing and shaking his head when Jirina suddenly pushes ahead of him, walking faster in a way that was more than curious. The eyes behind his goggles jumped from the she-Org to the Siltherian and then to the older Fanoman woman. He almost swallows his tongue trying to speak.

Jirina doesn't hear him or his words of restraint. All of her focus is on the former archmage and how she seems to walk with such a casual, comfortable stride. Once Ria is close enough, the poor girl can't even get the first word out before she's scooped aside by Jirina's good arm, winding up behind the woman's massive frame. In a strange way she's both flattered and terrified.

"What the hell is _she_ doing here?"

Windleaf has already stopped in place, body half turned with feet apart in preparation to run back the way she had come if needed. She knows she shouldn't have come, there was no real necessity for her to be here, but she felt as though she _had_ to.

"Whoa, ladies, hold up." Clemett hustles forward to put himself between them. "I'm not askin' you to play nice, but..." for a moment he has no words, "not in here, okay?"

"Then she can leave." Jirina bites, a threatening hunch to her shoulders.

"Miss Jirina, please," Ria tugs on her good arm, "she wants to help me."

"You're capable enough, you don't _need_ her help."

Again, flattered but still terrified. She swallows, bracing. "So you want me to go to Siltheria all alone?"

Jirina's head snaps to look over her shoulder, raven hair tossing. "Siltheria? What on earth for?"

"We think that's where Xero is."

"It's his homeland, so it's just as likely a place for him to be as any." Windleaf elaborates, receiving a withering gaze from the she-Org. "I've been there, I can help her."

"But you are _powerless._ " there is a punctuation of quiet pleasure in the word, Jirina resisting the urge to smirk as she watches her shift on her feet, uncomfortable.

"Maybe, but I'm still one of the finest archers in the world."

"Hmph, so _you_ say."

"Hey now, big gal, you've seen-," and he bites his tongue at the searing look she gives him. Clearly he was not part of this conversation.

"Stinger already has a ship waiting for us." Windleaf forces herself to say, though her heart is threatening to jump into her throat.

"You can take your ship and sh-," she responds to a second, more insistent tug on her arm.

"Let me do this. Please." Ria all but begs. "I want to help you."

"You don't need _her_. I will go."

"You _can't_." the smaller mage takes Jirina's large hand in both of hers.

"The mechanic then, take him."

"He has to stay here and take care of you until we get back."

"Take _anyone_ else!"

Ria takes a step closer, tilting her chin up so she can meet Jirina's gaze. "You think I'm so strong? Then let me be strong. As a member of your court, you did things I disagreed with but I still let you do them. Not just because you were empress, but because I understood it needed to be done. _This_ needs to be done, and _I_ can do it." all this she says with a gentle, hopeful smile. "In no small way...you're here because you fought so people like me -thousands upon thousands of them- could be free. I will fight for you now...so you can be free from all the terrible pain I _know_ you feel."

Jirina's mouth opens a little, shock gently stretching her features. The tension around them eases.

"Besides," the smaller mage laughs, "I'm going to do it anyway, with or without your approval."

Jirina shudders in a strange way, her expression changing into something else. That unusual something eventually turns into a kink akin to a grin. "I'm beginning to think you have your own stubbornness, Taj'hal."

"That's _Mage_ Taj'hal, and I learned my stubbornness from watching _you_."

"Hah, a fine teacher." a subdued chuckle. "Very well. Do as you please." Jirina steps aside, allowing Ria to pass, shaking her head at the almost amusing smugness that paints her face. Her features harden again when her eyes settle on Windleaf, who still stands there as if waiting for something else.

"I'll keep her safe, I promise."

Jirina doesn't respond right away, taking three big steps to stand directly in front of her. She takes a deep breath through flared nostrils, posturing as her body expands, back straightening. Windleaf manages to hold that heavy gaze somehow.

"If you can't keep your word, you had best pray I don't find out."

Windleaf only nods, no need to hear about the potential consequences. "We'll be back as soon as we can." She turns sharp on her heel, walking at a healthy clip towards Eyre's gaping opening, feeling eyes burning the back of her head until she steps into the sunlight.

Clemett crosses his arms and stares at the she-Org until she finally turns towards him.

"What?"

He just puts up his hands, shaking his head. "C'mon, let's go find some trouble."

()

Ria is physically excited as she steps aboard the Seahawk, happily greeting each of the crew member as she practically frolics from one end of the ship to the other. Windleaf just smiles, greeting the crew in a much more sedate manner. She saves her enthusiasm for the admiral once she's close enough to put her arms around his neck and give him a kiss.

"Ready to go?" Stinger asks, stepping back to a more professional distance.

She nods, giving him leave to start spouting orders. She waits patiently, watching he dictates to his crew with a natural precision, getting the ship away from the dock and starting out of the harbor as smoothly as one breathes. Once the ship clears the bay, the sails billow outward on the first eastbound wind.

Stinger is grinning as he comes to stand beside his wife again, watching the Siltherian mage still prancing about his deck and trying not to be in anyone's way.

"Kind of blows your mind, doesn't it? Who'd have thought the Gadgeteers could do something like that?" he eases an arm around her waist, his hand resting on her hip.

"Considering what else they're capable of, it shouldn't be all that surprising."

"Fair enough." he looks her over briefly. "Nice to see your visit to Eyre left you intact."

"Just lucky I guess." she laughs, the sound is empty though.

"Jirina must be in a hell of a state."

"No, not really. Even if she was, that wouldn't change much. It wasn't because she _couldn't_."

He nods. "Please tell me you're not doing this to try and smooth the edges between the two of you."

"No." definitive, final. "I'm doing it because I have a friend in need...and I've got a lot of penance to pay yet. Whether she appreciates it or not is irrelevant."

"All right. As long as you're sure. Join me in the cabin?"

Her eyes slide to him, thinning. "Again?"

He laughs a little, unable to meet her gaze. "Well, you know, if you're too tired from this morning,"

"You know I hate it when you try to goad me like that?"

"Of course I do."

"I'm not going to leave Ria alone up here with your boys. You're just going to have to wait."

"Hey, c'mon, my crew are fabulously well behaved." he tips his chin, looking rather proud. "You can ask the queen."

"The queen isn't here, so what I say goes."

"Aye-aye, ma'am." he laughs, defeated.

Windleaf nods. "So how long is it going to take?"

"If the wind holds," he crosses his arms and looks up into the sails, "we'll make about half the journey before nightfall. No more than two days at most. We'll dock at Old Gubrath, it's the only one for the time being."

"Has Griffon started delegating with Siltheria yet?"

"Nah. There's no central government, no rulers, so it's hard to navigate the situation. Or I would venture to guess as much. So here's hoping Xero didn't wander out to those Keerg forsaken deserts."

"Your mouth to Keerg's ear." she shakes her head with a weary exhale. Old Gubrath would just have to do, which isn't as bad as all that. She knew the area, so at the very least they wouldn't be wandering the continent blindly. "I appreciate you doing this on such short notice."

"My pleasure. Besides, like you said, a friend in need and all that."

Windleaf leans over and kisses his cheek, quietly promising proper gratitude at the proper time. He hopes it will come tonight.

Old Gubrath is a quiet sea side town that had been hit particularly hard during the war. Stinger remembers passing through here some seventeen years ago, shortly after having first met Windleaf and Harv-5. It had been almost empty then, ravaged by the madness that left many dead and others hiding in Gubrath Woods, insane under the influence of the Darg. As he, Ria, and Windleaf step onto the pier they can tell almost immediately that the village is doing far better now. People are walking about, moving between recently restored homes and businesses. The keeper of the lighthouse stands on the catwalk near the structure's apex, looking out over the sea.

"I saw the mesas from the ship this morning!" Ria's still so full of excitement, a spring her step that no one could miss. "I haven't seen them since I was a little girl, they're so beautiful! Do you think we'll have to go there?"

"I'm sort of hoping we don't." Windleaf tries to laugh off her sincerity. "But if we have to,"

"I suppose that's fair, you and the admiral aren't used to the desert. Oh but how I would _love_ to go there again someday!"

"After living on Khelestra for so long, chances are you wouldn't fair so well either. Native or not."

"Ah, yes, I guess you have a point. Still something to think about while I'm young."

"So where should we start looking?" Stinger asks, his boot the first to settle on terra firma.

"I have a hunch, but maybe we start asking around. Surely someone would recognize a near six-hundred year old man."

"Von Moon is really that old?" Stinger's brows jump. "Heavens."

"But he looks so fine for his age." Ria giggles. "So would we go to the tavern first?"

"Nah, Xero's not _that_ much of a drinker, but it should be on our checklist. Just split up, we'll meet back in a hour or so."

Thankfully the strategy proves fruitful. Both Stinger and Windleaf come back with information from the curiosities shop owner and the innkeeper. Ria, though unable to glean anything from the priest at the chapel or the lighthouse operator, brought back a runtish and ash colored porterkatt that seemed more than content to lay across her shoulders and under her shayla.

"So what did you hear, Wind?"

"Innkeeper says she saw him about four months ago around town. You?"

"The clerk says he comes in every few weeks, asking for weird stuff like home furnishings and things like that. Makes me think he's putting down stakes somewhere."

"Sounds like it might not be too far from here." she nods slowly. "Riada?"

"Just a cat." she smiles, content, inching her shoulders as the cat's tail curls around her throat.

"What was this hunch you mentioned earlier?" the admiral continues.

"Gamathel's Tower. It's still standing, isn't it?"

"Last I checked, yeah. We'll have to go through the woods, and you remember how that went last time."

"I wasn't there. I had a spa date with the Etherwell."

"Oh. Right. Well, here's to hoping the cultists don't live there anymore."

"Cultists?" One snowy brow jumps.

The trio start walking through the town, aiming to leave it and head north. Stinger laughs. "It's a good story, actually, but I'd rather tell it with the old man around so I can watch him squirm."

"Why would he squirm?" Ria asks from behind him.

"Because he used to be just a floating head."

"Oh my." Ria's eyes widen and shimmer with interest. "I _must_ hear this."

Author's Note: Recently I've thought of Gadgeteers as something like Timelords, they can travel inter-dimensionally, but that's the long and the short of it. And individual dimensions exist on different time lines, hence their available technologies. Also I apologies for the numerous dialogue-dumps. Sometimes it just happens that way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

No one knows how long Gamathel's Tower has been here, or how it was built, only that it is named for the mage that had both lived and died in it. It winds upward against the Siltherian sky in bronze and violet stained glass, an ornate observatory crowning the structure.

Immediately Stinger notices a difference in the place since he had seen it the first time. It had looked rather desolate, neglected those those near twenty years ago. Now there were flowering bushes surrounding the place. There is an energy he can feel around him, it looks like all of the stained glass has been cleaned up or restored. He recalled several broken windows and the great wooden double doors being torn up pretty bad, but they seemed good as new now.

" _Someone's_ here."

"Astute observation, captain obvious." Windleaf felt the corners of her mouth curl tightly upward as her eyes meet Stinger's, his brow flat over his eyes. He cringes at the bad joke when Ria tries to stifle a laugh behind her hands. Windleaf can't help but laugh a little herself as she continues "Want to knock and see who's home?"

"Sure." he snorts, and leaves it at that as he only has harsh things to say. With the two women still snickering behind him he walks the remainder of a gravel path and up a half dozen stone steps to pound the doors three times with one fist. For some time there is no response or sign of one coming, giving Stinger enough reason to try again. He waits, leaning towards the heavy wood barrier to listen. There's a heavy metallic sound as the locks lift from within.

The Mage Warrior is happy to see them, hugging each in turn as he invites them inside. "Do pardon the disarray. And the smell."

The mere mention of the odor seems to turn each of their noses at the same time.

"Turns out several Stalker carcasses had been...fermenting upstairs for some time." Xero almost laughs, in spite of himself. "I've been trying to clean this place up for _months_."

"So you've been here this whole time?" Windleaf looks around as she walks with the others behind Xero, taking everything in.

"No. I traveled a while before remembering this was here. I thought, since it was empty,"

"It's not so bad," Stinger nods as they pass through a doorway. "I see you got rid of that ugly skull chandelier."

"Oh yes, positively _garish_ that thing. Although," Xero stops, his feet coming together and his hands folding behind his back as he turns to face them, "I can't help but feel like you're not here for just a social visit." he tucks his chin, one brow up with his violet eyes piercing.

"Can't run anything past you, can we?" Stinger laughs. "But you're right. We were hoping you wouldn't mind coming back to Metaboline with us."

His critical expression eases. "Is everything all right?"

"The Gadgeteers need your help."

"Oh?"

"Miss Jirina has to have another operation." Ria elaborates, taking a step forward.

No hesitation. "Heavens. Of course I'll come, please, just give me a moment to grab a few things."

A few things, turns out, would be a large chest full of books and other tools of the artifice trade. Some of the items are as old as the Mage Warrior, that he had recovered a decade ago from the scant Undrashi ruins. He apologizes for making them wait before they accept it and leave the tower.

It's too dark to sail by when they return to Old Gubrath, but Stinger makes sure his crew will be ready to depart once there's light enough to see by. The four of them -plus the porterkatt that Ria calls Habibi- share dinner in the captain's cabin, their friendly conversation starting with a promise to make an honest effort to stop coming together only when there's trouble. They laugh hard enough at the prospect, but only briefly. They continue on with the previously promised on story of he cultists that had previously inhabited Gubrath Woods, and how they worshiped Xero's disembodied and hibernating head. The Mage Warrior blushes, shifting in his chair and having a couple extra glasses of wine to stomach it, the effort made easier when Ria tells him he is classically handsome and kisses him on the cheek.

Xero remains awake after the humans have gone to bed, sitting outside the cabin with several of his books and a blossom of magelight to read them by. He had to be sure all his ducks were in a row, so to speak. He's still awake and studying when Stinger emerges from the cabin just before sunrise, croaking orders with only half his usual clarity in an attempt to rouse his crew. The crowd of men come stumbling out into the open, dragging themselves to their stations. Sunlight hits the standard directly just as the ship is working away from the pier and into open water. As the sun lifts above the horizon the winds pick up. Hopefully they will hold.

Surely enough they hold, and only get stronger as the day carries on into the afternoon, pushing the Seahawk into the heart of a not-so-small squall. The helmsman keeps a steady course, altering it only a few degrees north to keep them in open water as they couldn't see much more than a few yards in any direction. The storm eats a few hours of their time, but they come through to calmer seas just as the sun is setting. They reach Metaboline's harbor by the following morning.

Windleaf helps Xero with his belongings as Stinger delivers his usual report to the harbormaster. It's still quite early so there's little human traffic to keep them from getting to Eyre at a reasonable rate. Mervin meets them at the drawbridge, allowing them entrance and extending the courtesy of escorting them to the lift. He doesn't take them to the Habitat level, as they mostly suspect, but to Occupation.

The door splits down the middle and slides open. Clemett is waiting on the other side to greet them.

"Mornin', nerds."

"I am _not_ a nerd." Xero corrects firmly. Then his tone shifts to curiosity. "What's a nerd?"

"Somethin' like me and mine, so don't be offended, head."

His mustache puckers with a little sputter, mentally screaming what he was trying to say.

"This isn't getting any lighter, Clemett." Windleaf shifts, holding one end of the chest in her hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry, here," he maneuvers her aside to take it. "Follow me, folks." The four of them start down the corridor, navigating around other Gadgeteers. "So what's in the box?"

"My tools. After Stinger explained the situation to me I knew I would need them. Will we begin working shortly?"

"I gotta check in with the other techs first, so we'll see. If not I can arrange for a safe place to keep your toy box until we're ready."

"These are hardly _toys_ , my good man."

"I know, I know." his eyes roll behind the amber lenses of his goggles.

"How is Jirina doing?" Ria eases up beside the Gadgeteer, looking at him.

"It took some doing, but I finally convinced her to get some sleep. She's stressing too much."

"What about? Anything I can do to help?" it's in her nature, she can't help but ask. She's a healer after all.

"The fact that you're here ought to calm her down, actually. I think she was nervous about you bein' out and about like that."

"What on earth for?"

"Come on," he chuckles, "she's been kind of motherin' you since the two of you met. Hasn't she?"

"She has." Xero answers first. "In her own way."

"You think so?" she looks behind her to the Mage Warrior

"We know so."

"Oh...is that good?"

"So it would seem." Xero inches his shoulders upward. "Not a common behavior on her part so it's difficult to say."

"I'd say you're in a good place if she isn't regularly threatening your life." Windleaf adds, sarcastic. Though it's a statement both Clemett and Xero nod over.

"But this is different." The Gadgeteer continues. "She doesn't fuss like this when the rest of us are out runnin' errands. It's weird...I've seen humans act like this when their pet goes missing." he sputters. "Not that I'm sayin' Jirina thinks of you like that."

"I wouldn't believe it for a minute if you were." Ria was quite confident that Jirina had a substantial amount of respect for her. "Though I've often wondered if her having a pet would do her some good."

"I remember she liked dogs when she was a kid." Windleaf says, sounding distant, as if in a memory.

"Well maybe Habibi will do until we can find one." Ria pets the porterkatt beneath the chin, the animal still curled around her neck.

Clemett snaps his attention to the Siltherian. "Where did you find that?"

"Old Gubrath."

He stares for moment. "...Can I hold it?"

Ria shoots him a curious and amused expression. "You like cats?"

"...I love cats." he says it quietly, like he doesn't want anyone to know. "Stan and Murph never let me keep one. And we can't have pets here because of the sheddings."

"Oh, you poor thing." she seems genuinely sorry for him. "Once we get settled in we'll see if he'll allow you to play with him."

Clemett makes a noise, some sort of muffled squeak that Ria can only assume translates as something positive. She feels the animal shift around her, not seeing it peek its big head out from under her hood and look at the Gadgeteer with bright orange eyes, seeming only mildly interested.

Clemett brings them to a room lined with full bookcases and a large table in the middle.

"You've got full access to everything in here, head. Help yourself." The Gadgeteer helps Xero hoist the box onto the table with a heavy _clunk_. "I imagine our material on your magical arts and crafts-,"

" _Artifice_ ," he corrects.

"...Isn't all that current. That stuff fell out of vogue after the first war. Still, it's here along with anything else related to it that might be relevant. On the off chance you don't have everything you need."

"I would like to have a look at the damages, if I may."

"I'll get my tablet and show you the scans I've taken," he nods, "I don't have the heart to wake her up. You ladies want to-" he stops completely, attention on the table as the porterkatt slips from around Ria's neck to walk along the edge of it, rubbing one cheek against the aged wooden box. The animal sits on the edge of the table and looks at him, licking the edges of its bear trap shaped mouth.

"Would you do something before you have a conniption?" Xero insists, arms crossing with a huff.

Clemett reaches out one hand, recreating the happy squeaking noise when the cat rubs its face against his first finger. It puts its teeth on him briefly, testing, but then rubs him again.

"I don't mean to be an old lady about this, but we _are_ here for a reason."

"Sorry, head, I just, y'know...let me get my tablet, I'll be back."

Ria can't but smile as Clemett leaves, catching Xero's scrutiny. "What? I like seeing people happy. I think Habibi does too. He'll make a fine familiar."

"You _actually_ just picked him up from around the harbor?"

"More or less." she can't help but be a little smug as the cat comes back to her. "What can I say, I'm magical."

He laughs a little.

When Clemett returns they set right to work. Xero needs the Gadgeteer to work the tablet for him, but its a minor inconvenience. The pictures give him all the information he needs in stunning definition while he goes through his tools. Clemett balks at them, calling them rusty toothpicks, only to be verbally assaulted by the Mage Warrior in their defense. Some of them bore King Undrash's seal and he wasn't about to tolerate _anyone_ talking shit -as the kids say. He nearly loses the entirety of his gentlemanly composure when Habibi sees fit to start playing with some of the relics, batting at them with his webbed, polydactyl paw. Windleaf tries to help matters by pulling a spare bowstring from a pouch and dangling in front of the cat to distract him. Soon enough the animal is skidding across the smooth tiles on the floor in pursuit of the makeshift toy.

Conversation between Clemett and Xero eventually migrates into the mechanics of the planned procedure. The Mage Warrior is appropriately concerned, considering magical alterations weren't meant to come off. Not that it isn't possible, just risky, especially when Clemett mentions that the stumps underneath are still open. He had expected as much, but it was still troubling to hear, to accept. He feels a pang of guilt work through his chest; had they really had the right to subject Jirina to it? Yes, Hokum needed to be stopped, but...

"She wouldn't have had it any other way, old man." Clemett shakes his head, acting to still be marveling at the ancient implements. "You know that. She asked."

"Aye." he sighs. "But I doubt that served to ease any of the pain. So you and yours will begin work once I've removed the artifacts?"

"Yeah, so long as everything goes well. We'll be there to help you too."

"Much appreciated. Does Jirina know about all of this?"

"Took care of that personally." one exaggerated nod. "You think it best she be out for your portion of the procedure?"

"I don't know. I've never had to remove these things before. All I know is the few repairs I've had done on myself, but they weren't a problem."

"Yeah, with that synthetic chassis of yours. We'll see what the big gal wants to do then. Sound fair?"

"Quite. How long until..."

"We'll be ready in a few hours, I think, after last minute checks and everything. But I was aiming for first thing tomorrow morning. What do you think?"

"It's almost like you read my mind."

A little chuckle. "Great nerds think alike."

Xero's mustache puckers at the word. "Indeed. But I should be more than ready by the morrow, though I will be sure to tell you if anything changes."

"Of course. I don't want doubts following us into that room."

"Well said."

"So do you need me for anything?"

"I don't believe so, no. Come and fetch me when everything is ready."

"You bet. C'mon ladies, let the man have his privacy."

()

Ria knows Jirina is anxious, uncomfortable in a way one feels in their skin. She hunches a lot as she sits on the edge of her bed in the small room, mostly quiet save for periodic deep breaths that she shrugs out. It's because she's hungry and because she's afraid. Both feelings stem from the upcoming surgery. Clemett could be by any minute now to take her to the operating room. Knowing it's coming doesn't make her feel any better.

Which is why it comes with some significant astonishment when she asks for Ria to braid her hair.

"My mother would do it." she explains. "It's...comforting. You don't have to."

Ria assures her it's fine, no trouble at all as she eases behind her, even now dwarfed by the she-Org's massive body. Ria has to stretch quite a ways to gather up all of Jirina's sable strands. She smooths her fingers through it to pull free any tangles before separating it. Habibi jumps up on the bed, sitting and watching.

"You're graying a little."

"Oh?"

"Yes, just here,"

Jirina flinches at feeling of dainty fingertips at her temples. "Ah. Not too surprised."

"Aren't you a little young yet?" she giggles behind her, starting to twist the strands together. "My goodness, this is thick."

"I'm more than two score." Jirina thinks aloud, wincing at the pulling in her scalp. "Nearly two score and two."

"You'll have to tell me when your birthday is so we can celebrate."

"What for?"

"Don't Wyldernian's do that?"

"It's just...why?"

"Why _not_?" Ria chuffs. "I remember my aunt would make me a special dinner, whatever I asked for she would try to make it for me." which was usually something from her birthplace, mostly hard to come by in Bene Brokul. "And something sweet, like a cake."

"Your aunt sounds like a good woman."

"I would love for you to meet her...though I don't know if you would fit in their little house." she laughs.

"You tiny humans and your tiny houses." a deep but meager chuckle.

"And this tiny human will make you a tiny cake for your birthday." Ria promises with a mixed tone of sincerity and playfulness, finishing the braid with a curt tip of her chin. "There you are."

Jirina reaches back with her good hand and takes hold of her now tamed hair, pulling it over her shoulder to have a look. "A fine job. Thank you."

Ria accepts her gratitude and shuffles on her knees to the edge of the bed, unfolding to let her feet dangle over the side. Habibi stretches across the space between him and the human to crawl into her empty lap. Jirina watches them for a moment, only a little curious.

"You can pet him."

"Not with these hands. I wouldn't want to hurt him."

"After the surgery then."

"Perhaps."

Ria watches Jirina tense again, her shoulders inching forward a little further as she leans her elbows against the tops of her thighs.

"Everything will be all right." she tries to assure her. "Xero and Mr. Clemett care about you too much to let anything bad happen."

"That's what I keep telling myself." but she knows damn good and well that some things simply aren't up to us. "But...I keep dwelling on before. I can't help it."

Ria frowns, sympathy pulling her features as she looks at her. Out of some reflex, a knee-jerk need to comfort, she chances to put her hand in Jirina's. "Can I do anything?"

"No. But thank you." Stone fingers curl around her much smaller hand. "Well..."

"Yes?"

"Could you..." Jirina worries her bottom lip between her teeth, a brief hesitation, "would you be there when I wake up?"

Ria smiles, her heart swelling. "I will. Habibi too." The porterkatt makes a strange purring sound, climbing up Ria's shoulder to curl into his usual place, like a fur stole.

Jirina only nods, her back straightening as her tension appears to ease slightly. She takes a deep breath through her nose and lets it out the same way. Her good hand folds over the back of her neck, massaging briefly before she looks to the human next to her.

"I have a question." she admits casually. "Have for a while actually."

"Oh?"

Jirina clears her throat, a little blueness blossoming in her cheeks. "Back when...before you left Wyldern. You remember?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Before when...you had...embraced me. You thanked me and..." she knows she sounds like a total fool fumbling like this. "I just want to know why you-,"

She can't finish the question, the door of the room sliding back and pulling her attention away from Ria. Clemett only takes one step inside, tipping his chin once he knows he has Jirina's attention.

"We're ready."

"All right, mechanic." Jirina stands up. "Will you come with me?"

Ria can't see her eyes or whatever expression Jirina makes beneath the visor, but she senses it. It's pleading, albeit quietly. "Of course."

Seeing the operating theater, all the Gadgetters waiting patiently around the empty table makes her stomach clench. Jirina feels her knees threaten to give, but instead she just focuses on Ria' arm curled around her own and it keeps her stable. The sight of Xero marginally eases the anxiety, his assurance and brief embrace more than welcome. Though the sight of his tools on a metal tray take away from it a little. She tries to keep her attention on her friends as she sits on the table, ignoring the unfamiliar Gadgeteers as they start hooking her up to several devices that will keep track of what her body is doing during the procedure. The screens of consoles mounted in the wall start flickering and showing various numbers and symbols.

"All right, big gal, you're all plugged in. Now," Clemett puts a heavy hand on her shoulder, making sure he has her attention, "I'm going to be in that booth right there," he points to a closed off area on the other side of several large windows. "Everything they see, I can see, and I intend to stay there until this is done. Okay?"

She just nods.

"Now Vic's gonna give you a shot to help you relax, then we're going to do the gas. You remember we talked about that?"

"I do."

"You'll be sleepin' like a baby in no time, I promise. And not one of these guys is gonna make a move until we know you're under. No worries." It sounds as though he's trying to convince himself of that just as much as her.

"So you say." she gives him a dry grin. "I'm ready."

"All right. You want to come with me, Ria?"

Before she answers she asks Jirina "Do you want me to stay?"

"If you wish to. In a few moments I won't know the difference." a little laugh, then a wince as Vic sticks her arm.

"I'll stay a little while." she turns to Clemett. "If that's all right?"

"You bet." Clemett nods. "We best step back and let these guys work. See you in a few hours, darlin'."

As they leave, Xero steps in front of Jirina, trying his best to look more confident than he felt.

The she-Org looks up at him. "One mistake and I'm divorcing you, old man."

Xero laughs. "Come now, are you really going to be like that over a misplaced digit or two?"

"Or _two_?" she smirks at him. "If that's the case than you shouldn't be too upset over a misplaced body."

"Now _those_ are fighting words."

"Not in front of the children, Xero." and they laugh together for a moment, before Jirina leans to one side, feeling...odd. "Wow, that was fast."

"The wonders of Gadgeteering. Better lie down then." he helps her straighten out over the table, or at least tries to. "Comfortable?"

"As much as one can be under such circumstances." she has to focus to keep her words together. Under the visor her eyelids flutter as she resists the urge to close them. Her instincts are telling her to fight it. _You know what they're going to do to you._ She tries to focus on the bland, whitewashed ceiling until Vic leans over her.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"Alright." Vic sits himself on a low profile stool, tapping a few keys on the keypad on his forearm. He checks the console beside him, nodding at the satisfactory numbers, before taking up the molded plastic mask attached to a long tube from atop the console. He frets a little when she jerks away from his hand at first. He tries again after a gentle word of assurance with success. "Now just take deep and easy breaths and count to ten."

She only makes it to four.

In the adjoining booth Clemett keeps very close watch on the consoles in front of him while Ria looks on through the glass. She keeps hearing the high-pitched whine, it comes and goes in regular, pulsing intervals. Knowing the Gadgeteers are talking between themselves she doesn't interrupt by asking about it, instead she fixes her attention on Xero and the bright flashes of blue light that flicker around him as he works. Without realizing it a half hour ticks by, and by then the Mage Warrior has successfully removed the broken prosthetic, handing it off to a waiting Gadgeteer. The skin underneath is nearly white down to the wrist, where it blushes bright blue from the stump being closed some days before.

"They'll have to open it back up." Clemett says in passing. He sounds tense, like it had just gotten much too quiet.

"I was wondering about that." she responds, eyes still trained on Xero as he moves around to the other side of the table to start on the next artifact. "I had hoped I did the right thing."

"Of course you did. Couldn't have her bleedin' to death. I imagine she would've without you around. Stubborn woman."

"She really _is_ rather...willful, isn't she?" Ria laughs to herself.

"Talkin' to a rock gets you more places." he chuckles as well. The sounds stops abruptly as another whistle cuts the air. When it stops "Wait...can you hear that?"

"I can."

"Really? I mean, I've heard of that," he laughs at his own pun, "the senses getting stronger when one stops working, but...damn. I'm impressed."

"Do you think it will...go away after a while?"

"Who knows. That's not my forte." he jabs a couple buttons with his finger.

It's quiet for a spell, the two of them occupied on something other than one another.

"I'm curious," she starts again.

"Hm?"

"The vapor is keeping her asleep,"

"The gas, yeah."

"So what was the injection for?"

"Arkosians haven't really gotten this far in medicine yet, but you will someday. Normally we wouldn't need the shot, but with gray Orgs their metabolism is really peculiar. Compared to humans it's like night and day."

"How so?"

"It's complicated."

"Try me."

He takes a breath, a little chuckle mixed in somewhere. "Because they're subterranean, their body fights infection a different way than humans. You guys get some vital components from the sun through your skin -wild 'innit?- but Wyldern doesn't have a sun that produces the same sort of radiation yours does. In turn their immune system produces a host of completely different antibodies that are constantly working to keep them healthy, but that provides a challenge for us because Jirina's body is fighting tooth and nail with what we're giving her to keep her asleep. So we developed a compound to suppress her metabolism long enough for the anesthesia to work."

"I see." Kind of.

"And unlike humans who get sick, gray Orgs tend to hibernate when they're unhealthy. It's her body's natural defense mechanism as opposed to fever and all that mess."

"What about the rust infection?"

"That's totally different." he shakes his head. "Her blood has a much higher concentration of oxygen than humans, hence the color, and the presence of iron oxide has a reaction similar to alcohol evaporating. It's like her body is struggling to breathe."

"Oh my."

"Yeah, pretty nasty stuff. We've been studying it more as of late, maybe we'll have a vaccine some day."

Ria nods, processing the new information as she continues watching through the glass. Xero takes off the second hand prosthetic and the Gadgeteers quickly come behind him to put some sort of device over the stump, something to stop the bleeding. A few dark blue droplets trickle to the floor. She steps away from the window, moving quietly across the floor to stand beside Clemett. She watches the screen for a moment, not at all certain what any of it means.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh yeah." he nods with enthusiasm, and proceeds to give her an abridged explanation of how everything works. The numbers needed to stay within a certain range, and all is well so long as they do. He thinks her curiosity is rather cute.

"Was the first operation like this?"

He swallows, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "Yes and no. The original injuries were poorly treated...old...we didn't have half the information or the time we have now." he takes a breath. "My math was bad."

"Pardon?"

"We thought gray Orgs and Dendrokin were close relatives -blue Orgs, I mean- but that just wasn't the case. We _knew_ Dendrokin, we understood how they worked, so we went by the rules of their physiology and it just...kinda blew up in my face. If we'd had more time..." he shakes his head. "But that whole thing was a bucket of bad news."

Ria doesn't speak, but just looks at him, hoping he'll continue without her pressuring him. It takes some time, several minutes, but he does.

"Typically a person's height and weight dictate how much anesthetic they receive during an operation, so that's what I went by. I took all her stats myself, and I didn't have clue one about how her body would react...the whole metabolism thing. I never thought to double check it; the blood work I would've had to do would've taken days compared to the mere hours it takes now. We didn't have days." She was dying and they couldn't wait. "Xero had just finished with the last of the grafting when she woke up on the table."

Ria feels her heart clench so hard she stops breathing for a split second.

"She says she doesn't remember, but I know that isn't true." he takes his eyes off the screen in front of him, looking through the glass for the first time. "She says it so I won't keep fussin' over her. She hates that." his gaze lingers on Jirina's sleeping face, a gut wrenching suspicion that her eyes will suddenly open working through him. "But I know she remembers some of it...a part of her does. Remembers being scared and helpless...trapped. Can you imagine a woman that size drugged up and freakin' out like the devil himself was after her?"

"The who?"

"It's a saying from somewhere else." he dismisses it with his hand. "Still, I sure as hell won't forget it as long as I'm livin'." Even though a Gadgeteer can erase an unpleasant memory like one throws out a scrap of paper, he didn't have the heart to do it. He feels a heavy obligation to hold onto that day, if for no other reason than to remind himself that he isn't the know-it-all he sometimes thought himself to be. And so he could keep apologizing for the little scar on Xero's chin that he hid beneath his facial hair. Jirina had nailed him right in the puss with her newly grafted stone foot. She didn't recognize where she was, didn't know what was happening. Clemett had never seen Xero cast a sleep spell so fast.

"Mr. Clemett?"

"Hm?"

"Are you all right?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry." he tucks his chin to focus on the console again. "Didn't mean to get personal."

"I don't mind. I get it quite a lot actually." as a healer, it comes somewhat standard with the territory. She isn't imposing in the least and has a relatively sweet demeanor. "Please, if you want to continue,"

"I appreciate that." he smiles under his hood, but stays quiet for a while. He glances through the glass again, watching Xero work free another prosthetic. He keeps his eyes between the Mage Warrior and the numbers. His breathing levels when work starts on the last artifact. "It's like...how did the old man put it...it was like something followed her. You know? Whatever it was going on in her head while she was out followed her, and that's what she was seeing when she opened her eyes."

"Like waking too suddenly from a dream?"

"Yeah, I guess so. We don't dream so...you know. But I've seen it happen on other planets. We discovered this thing way back when...the humans there called it shell shock. Who knows what the name is for it now, haven't been back in a while. Still...some things hit you so hard they walk around with you. It just scares you... _hurts_ you so bad it leaves a fingerprint. If that's the case then that war just covered her up. And maybe that's where she was when she came to. Still fighting."

"Is there nothing we can do?"

"Not that I know of. We haven't had a chance to study it...she won't lets us and on some level I don't blame her. That's just not her style, she copes in her own way or no way at all. At this rate I just...I hope that I can help her do that."

Xero lets out a breath of relief as the last artifact pulls free with a spark of bright blue light. He places it with the others and steps aside, allowing the Gadgeteers space to continue their work. He moves to the head of the table, ready to trade places with Vic as discussed.

"I'll be able to check her vitals while I'm working, so don't worry about the console."

Xero nods, taking a seat and keeping the mask in place. Certainly a more comfortable position to be in, his back is sore from being hunched for so long, but he's still rather stressed. The procedure is barely half over.

Vic starts with her left hand, having one of the other techs wheel over an actual flesh and blood appendage that had been grown in a lab. With blood and skin samples they were able to replicate a brand new hand. The wonders of Gadgeteering.

"Does she know about this?" Xero asks, quiet as if anything louder than a whisper would wake her.

"We thought she would appreciate the surprise." Vic nods curtly, all the while passing a silent message to Giro to start working on the other hand. Then two more techs join in.

This would be the most time consuming portion of the operation, taking up the greater part of the next ten to twelve hours, and though the open stumps are tied off, lessening the loss of blood, they still must work as quickly as possible. They begin by reattaching the bones with an organic epoxy that will dissolve as new tissue grows, some spread over the outside seams to reinforce it. Next are the nerves and blood vessels, a much more intricate labor compared to the previous task. Using some of the smallest stitches anyone can imagine they join the corresponding ends together. The feet take longer as the thick tendon at the back of the heel proves to be a little unwilling. Lastly they seal the skin and muscle tissue together with a fine mesh of stitches and epoxy.

The tourniquets are removed, allowing blood to flow through the new appendages. The Gadgeteers watch their consoles closely for several minutes, waiting for the subtle changes in the numbers and their expected resolution to the proper levels. Minimal bruising appears around the incisions as they predicted. Once satisfied they wrap up the limbs in bandages and braces, the fingers partly folded in a natural resting position to keep strain off of the tendons and ligaments.

Xero finally finds it in him to relax when Vic gives him permission to remove the mask. The Gadgeteer takes it from him as he stands and backs away, pushing his hands down over his clothes to smooth out the creases. He still offers his help, though Vic assures him they have everything under control. The techs start shuffling around the room, pressing buttons and flipping switches, going through the motions to convert the room from operating theater to a recovery room. All but one of the screens disappear, the one keeping track of her vital signs staying in place near the bed. Jirina's arms and legs are propped up on very fat pillows and a thin blanket is pulled over her.

As the other techs start filing out, taking their tools with them, Vic remains, tapping away on his arm mounted device.

"The techs and I are going to power down for an hour or two, but I'll still be reachable." Vic says aloud, assuming he still has Xero's attention. "Are you going to stay, Sir Von Moon?"

"Miss Taj'hal has offered to do that."

"She's here, I assume? Ah," he catches a glimpse of the other Siltherian, "all right. Now, she shouldn't be waking up for the next few hours -likely she'll sleep through the night- but if she does wake, please page me." He shows them the proper switch on the lone panel to do just that. "And try to be mindful of her numbers. If they go too far off I'll want to know about it."

"Of course." both mages respond and nod in unison.

"Otherwise I'll check in regularly."

"Thank you so much for your fine work." Xero offers him a handshake.

"It's what I do." Vic nods. "If this is successful, just imagine what we'll be able to do next." And he follows the other Gadgeteers out of the room.

Clemett, Ria, and Xero stand together, half facing each other, holding a similar expression; a strange mixture of relief and anxiety. Clemett breaks away, saying something about fetching a better chair for Ria's long term visit. Between the two of them remaining they managed to figure out the lights and turn them down. Clemett returns with a chair that unfolds, spreading it longways like a chaise that he puts near the bed, within arm's length of the console should she need it.

"I brought you my tablet." he adds. "It's pretty easy to use. You put his little thing in your ear and it'll talk to you. I put a few language primers on here after Giro told me you couldn't read, this'll help you. It's the same stuff our podlings use when they start learnin' to talk."

"You're such a sweet heart." she smiles, hugging him gently and kissing the top of his head before taking the device. "So thoughtful."

If Gadgeteers could blush, he would have. "You know...f-figured it would help you pass the time." suddenly he doesn't know what to do with his hands. "I'm-uh...gonna go find somethin' to do."

The two mages watch him leave, his gait awkwardly rushed and uneven. They laugh to themselves, amused.

"Can I get you anything before I go? I could use a little rest myself."

"No, Xero, thank you."

"I'll come by in a little while, all right?"

"If you insist." she smiles, patting his chest with one hand to send him on his way. Once she's alone she eases into the chair, testing its unusual shape with an amused quirk to her expression. As she settles Habibi climbs down from her shoulders, walking down her chest and standing on her stomach. He looks around, sniffing, eyeing the bed briefly before jumping up onto it.

She cautions the animal in her native tongue, somehow knowing he would understand but pretends to ignore her. He sniffs up and down the length of the bed, eventually settling on Jirina's stomach, stretching across it so he could meet Ria's eyes. One paw reaches out to lazily bat at one of the half dozen stretches of wire connecting the she-Org to the console. Ria cautions him again, telling him to stop. Habibi maintains unbroken eye contact as he lifts his paw then puts it down on top of the cord again. Then he tucks it away, his face almost mocking.

"Cheeky boy."

Author's Note: Yay, more dialogue dumps! But hey, not like anyone's reading this. I guess I'm trying to get back to that place where I'm writing for myself, and when I did that it seemed like I couldn't write enough. I think I'd love to get back there, even just for a little while. I have other projects...I'd love to finish them. Questions are always welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

Vic comes and goes as promised, as does Xero, and Clemett on the rare occasion. They ask their questions and check their consoles -play with the cat- and move on their respective ways. Every so often one of them will stay long enough for Ria to stretch her legs, get something to eat or relieve herself. Otherwise she's content to sit and take up space. She had a promise to keep and she wasn't of the mind not to, and Habibi is fine enough company. She sleeps in spells of an hour or two when the time comes, wakes for just as long and then sleeps again, a pattern she trained herself in while at the academy tending to students.

After several hours there is activity in the bed. Ria rouses herself to the rustle of fabric and sees that Jirina's head has turned. She watches for a moment to see her move again, a quick expansion and deflation of her chest. A little groan makes her think she's coming around, but then there's nothing. She looks at the console to see the numbers are where they should be, easing any little worry she has.

It doesn't happen again until later, after Xero was kind enough to bring Ria a morning meal. Shortly after he leaves she hears the soft sound of motion coming from the bed. Habibi jumps down as Jirina's entire body shifts upward a little. This urges Ria to stand up, going to the bedside and looking her over. Her head jerks from one side to the other, Ria carefully reaches for the heavy braid and pulls it from across her throat thinking it would help. The she-Org stills for a moment, but then her body continues to stir.

"Jirina?" she beckons softly. "Can you hear me?"

There's a groan that could be a response.

"Are you in pain?"

The subsequent grunt sounds more like a growl, harder around the edges with greater force behind it. The lines around Jirina's mouth deepen, her lips pulling into half a snarl.

Before Ria says another word she moves casually to the console and hits the proper button before returning to her place. Vic will know what's wrong. She tries again "Jirina, it's Ria. The operation is over."

" _Itching_ ," the word comes grinding out.

"Oh? Where?"

" _Everywhere._ " its a horrible feeling, hot and sticky, can't stand your own skin because it doesn't fit right. "I can't scratch it,"

"Please don't try to move," she cautions, "Vic is on his way." She frets as Jirina's body arches sharply, chest pressing upward, praying that's the most she tries for. On a thought she carefully pulls off the blanket, hoping if she can cool down a little it will help. But she's still breathing so _fast_. She tries to keep her talking, keep her distracted so she'll stay still until the Gadgeteer arrives. And not a moment too soon.

"Morning, ladies." he greets in his usual easy way, strolling into the room and straight to the console. "Your numbers are a little high, Jirina, how do you feel right now?"

" _Miserable_."

"Pain?" and he nods at her answer. "It's a common reaction for the anesthesia we're using, but I'm going to send some blood to the lab and have it tested to be sure nothing unusual is going on."

"Is there anything we can do?" Ria asks, not liking at all how useless she's feeling.

"I'll lower the temperature in the room, see if that helps at all, but otherwise no." he starts running his fingers over the console, pressing a combination of buttons. "The itching is from all the nerves trying to wake up again, it should pass after a while."

She doesn't like the answer, surely neither does Jirina. "What about moving her? Obviously she can't get out of bed,"

"You can elevate the bed to help her sit up, but that's the long and the short of it for now. It's going to be a few days before she can move anything without risk of popping a stitch."

"When can I eat something?" Jirina grumbles.

"Once I get the blood test back, which should be an hour or two. Are you feeling nauseous at all right now?"

"No."

"All right, just wanted to check. You'll tell me if that changes?" He looks at Ria who nods in response. "Good. I'll deliver the results to you once I have them."

And while Vic's valuable relay of information was all well and good, it did very little to change the situation.

"Useless walking pile of... _whatever he is_!"

Ria worries her bottom lip between her teeth, brain buzzing with thoughts. There has to be something she can do to bring her a little comfort. "I'm...would you be all right by yourself for a minute or two?"

"You ask as if I'm capable of going anywhere."

"I won't leave if you want me to stay." she says. "But I have an idea."

"Do as you please, woman."

Ria doesn't take it personally, though she can feel the rough edges of Jirina's words. It's how she copes with discomfort, she'd known it since before she was court mage. So she takes it at face value and scurries out of the room. The sudden isolation seems to make Jirina feel worse, the four walls of the room stifling. She tries to focus on the porterkatt as he creeps about the room, eventually jumping back onto the bed to lay between her knees and stare back at her.

The Siltherian woman returns several minutes later, a tray held with both hands. She's shaking her head, mystified. "I can't believe it. They have a machine that _makes ice_. Have you ever heard of such a thing before?"

"What on earth are you up to that has to do with _that_?" Jirina lifts her head off the table, looking at her squarely, her quirked eyebrows concealed by the visor.

"Don't worry," Ria smiles and says in a sing-song way, "it shouldn't hurt."

"...Don't touch me."

"I'm _joking_. You know I would never do something like that." She crosses the floor and stands near the end of the bed, pushing Habibi aside with an indignant chuff. On the tray is a pitcher and a steel basin with a short stack of folded clothes situated between them. Ria puts the cloths in the basin and pours the water over them, a few cubes of ice falling out. She waits a moment, lets the water soak in, then takes one to wring out just a little. "Lift your head."

With suspicious curiosity Jirina obeys, feeling a little shiver as Ria pushes her braid aside and wraps the went cloth around her neck. The sensation comes as an initial shock, but the charge quickly turns into comfort.

"Oh," she exhales, "Orgran's grace,"

"How is it?"

"Is there anywhere else we can put them?" she asks with great interest.

"Let me see."

It takes some careful navigation around tubes and clothing, but Ria manages to tuck a cold cloth beneath both arms and spreads the last one across her abdomen, out of the way of any of the various wires that keep track of her numbers. Numbers that have dropped considerably, but are still within a safe range.

"That...is _so_...much better. Thank you." The itching is now just a dull tingle, far more tolerable.

"Of course." Ria smiles, blushing a little, her smile is a touch smug. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Jirina thinks a moment, looking away tucking her chin for a moment before looking back at her. "Take the visor off, please."

"But, the lights,"

"I can't tell there are any on, so they should be low enough not to bother me. I just...I want to feel the air."

"A-all right."

Her hands shake a little as she reaches towards Jirina's face, well aware of the actual gravity of the matter. It wasn't just that Jirina couldn't use her hands, but she was trusting Ria enough to ask her to do this. It feels personal, pressuring, intimate in a way, It's humbling. And Ria has never actually seen her face unobstructed before. The visor is heavier than she expects, her heart hitching with the fear of dropping it. With it secure in both hands she holds it close to her. She can't help but focus on Jirina's otherworldly eyes, the pale blueness of them and the stark absence of pupils.

She blinks several times, waiting for her vision to clear before she focuses on Ria with a mild scowl. "I can _hear_ you staring."

"I-I'm sorry." she hiccups. "It's, uh, I just,"

"The scars?"

"Oh no," she laughs nervously, "I've seen worse."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"I-," she stops, fully realizing what Jirina meant, and blushes a bright red. She tucks her chin, unable to meet the other woman's gaze any longer.

"Awfully pointless to start being offended now." a husky chuckle.

"I'm not offended." Ria sighs, looking amused. "Just surprised. You're not one to make jokes."

"I've gotten better at it."

"Indeed. Speaking of which, I've wondered, is it common for you to threaten Xero with divorce?"

"He started it."

She's so fascinated by the seemingly mundane act of Jirina's facial expressions. When she laughs Ria can see the full range of the action, the age lines around her eyes, little crow's feet that pull tight when she smiles wide enough. "I was never under the impression that you were married."

"But as much as we bite at each other, one would think it." a little laugh at the end. "Where is the old man anyway?"

"I haven't seen him for a while now, then again, I've been here for the most part."

Jirina's brow knits tight in the middle. "You...all this time?"

Ria nods. "You asked me to, remember?"

For a moment they just look at each other, then Jirina's raven eyebrows lift with a little sound.

"What, you didn't expect me to?"

Maybe. A small, cynical part of her, the same part that expects everyone to let her down and abandon her. The same part that forces her to keep everyone at arm's length. "So...how long?"

"If you count the procedure, it's been more than a day."

"You watched?

Ria laughs and inches her shoulders. She turns and sets the visor down on her chair before nudging out a little space on the edge of the bed to sit. "Really I wasn't sure what else to do. Pacing has never been my...way as it is for some people. I'm a healer, it's my heart, and all I want is to ease people's suffering. And while there was nothing I could do for you, others could benefit from me being nearby." She thinks back to everything Clemett revealed to her, how easily it seemed to come from him in spite of its personal nature. It has been her experience for years, people being able to talk to her so effortlessly. As if they were somehow convinced she would never tell another soul, which she never would. "And...I'll admit the curiosity got the better of me."

Jirina's expression shows vulnerability, but only for a second. She covers it up with a smirk, shrugging. "Your eyes -like your mouth- are going to get you in trouble one of these days."

Ria laughs, stroking the cat along his spine. _I think they already have._ But she says "We'll see how long my luck holds."

"Hm." Jirina shakes her head, though amused. "I'd like to see him. The mechanic as well. Would that be possible?"

"Let's wait until after you've been able to eat something so you've got the strength to put up with them."

"Fair enough."

Jirina is initially happy when the food arrives, in spite of the fact that she has never once been happy to see Eyre cuisine in her life. But that little joy quickly fades once she comprehends the horrific prospect of not being able to feed herself. For a moment she just stares at the ceiling, cursing *swearing in common and her mother tongue because doing so in one language simply isn't enough. She hates the idea of having to depend on another for a task so simple as eating. Ria shows her sympathy, but also reminds her that it's "just us girls" and the most judgmental soul in the room was the cat. One can imagine how little that helped matters. In the end the former empress does her best to stomach the situation with as much patience as she can muster. How on earth would she be able to put up with this for a month...maybe longer?

Seeing her friends helps alleviate the gravity of her circumstances for a while. Clemett tries his damnedest to equally divide his attention between them and Habibi. It's strangely amusing to watch him try to entertain and talk to the animal, and hilarious when the porterkatt starts swatting and grabbing at the Gadgeteer's goggles, pulling until they smack his face. He's having the time of his life, convinced Habibi _adores_ him even as he chews and claws at the hem of his cowl.

Xero is visibly pleased to see Jirina awake and in relatively good spirits, laughing when she assures him that she won't divorce him just yet. The comment brings up a desire to discuss the surgery, which he assures her went exceptionally well. After it was over he did a closer exam of the artifacts once they had been removed and found collections of more fractures that weren't revealed by any of the other scans the Gadgeteers had performed. Left alone the potential injury to her was far greater, possibly life threatening. Considering that, Jirina is almost grateful for the accident that started all this.

After a while Jirina can feel sleep creeping up on her again. Her hunger satisfied, a majority of that terrible itch relieved, it became part of a seemingly natural progression. Subconsciously she felt safe, secure, comfortable; those coupled with physical exhaustion was a fine combination indeed for a nap. Ria was the first to notice, becoming aware of shorter answers and longer periods between words. It isn't until the she-Org yawns that she accepts it and gives subtle cues to the others. As they say their goodbyes and offer tentative promises to return, Ria stands up as well, saying she will only be gone for a short while. Jirina nods with a stifled yawn.

Once out in the corridor she stretches hard with both arms reaching up above her head. It's liberating out here, bright with all the lights in the ceiling. Not that she liked leaving Jirina alone, just that she _needed_ to get out of that room. Ria checks one end of the corridor and then the other, catching a glimpse of Xero's coattails just beyond the outline of a Gadgeteer. She calls to him, grabbing his attention which pulls him to a stop. Not too quickly or too casually she catches up to him, thankful for his patience. He asks if she fancies a walk outside, a request she happily accepts.

It's early afternoon, the air is warm with uninhibited sunshine and the smell of salt is carried in on an inconsistent wind from the north. Their steps take them on no direct route, a casual aimlessness to their joined strides. Conversation comes and goes, topics changing without a pattern. Xero notices a quickness to her words, a slight rushing as if she's in a hurry to talk about something particular. Maybe its just pent up energy from being sequestered inside for so long, he thinks. But then he notices her hands, never in once place too long and moving from being folded in front of her to be folded behind her.

"Something bothering you?" he has to ask, his curiosity demands it.

Ria doesn't answer directly, her hands coming up in front of her and her fingers tangling together. She presses her bottom lip between her teeth, appearing several times to attempt saying something.

"We're friends," he assures her gently, not wishing to sound pushy, "you can tell me anything. It'll stay between us if you wish."

"I know." she finally spurts. "I just...I don't know what to say...if I'm just being foolish."

"Foolish doesn't sound like you at all. I've always thought you to be very pragmatic."

"Thank you." she chuckles, sounding a little...uncertain? "But...I don't know." she shrugs.

His brow creases, he tucks his chin to try and catch a glimpse of her face and is unable to do so. "What's wrong, dear?"

"N-nothing's _wrong_...just complicated."

"How so?"

"I think..." she pauses, swearing in her mother tongue in a half whisper, "I think _too much_."

"We're all guilty of that at one point or another." he laughs dryly. "But what _about_?"

Ria swallows, takes a deep, _deep_ breath, and finally "...I think I'm in love."

Xero smiles, his mustache conforming to the expression. "Is that so? Then I suppose I can understand your confusion."

"It _is_ confusing." she groans a little, head tipping back revealing the troubled vexation tightening her features. "I'm so unsure."

"Who is it?"

Her head drops quickly, her chin almost striking her chest as she feels the need to hide the growing redness in her face. "I almost can't say."

"Should I guess?" when he receives no answer, he tries anyway. "Is it the mechanic?"

"Afraid not. I don't even know what he _is_ under that cowl of his." she shakes her head.

"Fair enough." he nods slowly, eyes wide with a realization he should have taken into account in the first place. Then one brow raises. "It can't be me."

"No! I mean," she doubles back, "I don't mean it like that. Only that you're old enough to be my...how old are you again?"

"Too old for you, young lady, and leave it at that." he chuffs. "So..."

Ria can feel her entire body tense, sensing his impending guess. She chances to look at him, unable to stand not knowing, and sharply recoils at the look on his face. It stretches with silent shock, he's even stopped walking though she continues on several steps before doing the same. Her shoulders are so high and tight -to hide her face- that a cramp threatens in her neck. His brows are high and his mouth hangs wide like his violet eyes. _He knows, by the gods, he knows_.

Xero sputters, his jaw working without forming any words. The first thought to cross his mind -which he thankfully keeps from his mouth- is _you poor girl_. As hurtful as it is, it is still honest. As much as Xero respects and admires Jirina, he has always seen her as something lofty and untouchable. No one can hold a candle to her strength, will, character, and especially her _pain_. Jirina is unlike anyone he has ever seen before, been through things he can't imagine. How could anyone find common ground enough to...

"Is it?"

Ria doesn't know how to take the question initially. It sounds like he knows he doesn't have to finish. Doesn't have to name names. She forces herself to turn around and face him, her expression still tight as a drum, her hands wring together in front of her. "I don't know what to say."

"W-well...when?"

"I'm not sure." she shakes her head, snapping her hands behind her back when she sees how white her knuckles are. "I mean...I've always respected her...one could even say I admire her. She..."

"Had faith in your capabilities in spite of your handicap, gave you chance after chance to earn her trust. She treated you as an equal and brought you into her circle. It's humbling, to say the least."

"Yes. But that isn't all."

"Oh, I know." he nods, eyes focused on the grass in front of him, his expression contemplative. "She's also allowed you to see her vulnerable, her most closely guarded secret. Though, unlike myself, she hasn't held that against you." he sees her questioning expression from the corner of his eye and smirks. "She hates it when I try to mother her too much. I've noticed she doesn't seem to mind it from you."

"I know when to stop. You have to watch that ego." she explains in passing.

"Hence why you are the healer and not me." a little chuckle. "May I ask...how?"

Ria puts both hands over her face and makes a sound akin to a sob. "I don't know. I can't find the words. How does anyone?"

"Fair enough." he inches his shoulders in agreement.

"I just...maybe it's because I spend so much time around her. But then that doesn't make any sense because I've spent more time with her in the last week than I ever did as a member of her court." she pulls her hands away and wipes her eyes.

"But as her caretaker, much like before, which is quite the intimate position. There is a sort of...comfort fostered there that isn't possible otherwise. I've seen it in the short time I've been here...and Clemett has mentioned it. She's protective of you."

She sniffles and laughs. "Because I'm so tiny."

"Because she _cares_." Xero knows about Windleaf's visit to Eyre before they came to fetch him, heard it from Clemett along with his own thoughts on the encounter. Jirina is indeed protective, it is her nature, but she rarely _physically_ put herself between a loved one and a potential threat. Having Jirina's love typically translated to having someone to -at most- stand beside you. But in Riada's case, the former empress wished to _keep her from harm_. "And, quite frankly, I've never heard of her acting like that outside of a combat situation. Not since Mezzick was a child." And even then the behavior had been so rare, but that was due to her poor health and disability at the time.

"Since she asked for my help cleansing the palace," Ria starts again, cautious, "all I wanted to do was make her proud of me, to earn her respect. When she made me Org-Ta...it was one of the greatest days of my life. She had _accepted me_ -my own family couldn't do as much! Granted, all this came about _after_ I treated her for rust, but...but..."

"It still counts for something. Jirina doesn't grant such favors on a whim, and you know that. A gift from her is never really a gift, you earn it fairly."

Ria only nods, sniffling and wiping her eyes again.

"But why are you so upset?" he could come up with a myriad of reason why it would trouble him to have such feelings, but this isn't about him.

"Because caring is in my nature, it's integral to my craft as a healer -I _have_ to care. But...is that all it is? I mean...she's so prone to _pain_." and the last few words chime with exasperation. A feeling Xero could understand.

"She certainly seems to attract it, doesn't she?" he smiles in spite of himself.

"She _does_ , and all I want is to make it better. I don't know what else to do. But that isn't the same as being in love, is it?"

"Why not? No one wants to see those they care for suffering, and most would gladly turn Arkose inside-out to take it away. You _give of yourself_ to ease her pain, what is that if not _love_?"

For a moment she can only look back at him, eyes full of uncertainty, lips trembling as her hands start wringing together again. "I would do it for anyone...what I've done for her."

"True, but I think there's more to it than that. It isn't _just_ about being a healer, is it? It can't be."

She doesn't know how to answer. Every reason she thinks to give him could easily applied to any patient she had ever cared for. Every single one of them could fall into each response that comes to mind. What made Jirina so damn special?!

Her mouth opens, she tries to speak, but nothing. Xero watches her struggle and feels his heart clench. Ria thinks and thinks, her mind clawing for some sort of answer.

"Something must have changed." he says softly.

Finally "It was me. I changed. The way I cared changed." a vast majority of her patients she was able to send on their way, mended and eventually forgotten, her compassion making room for the next case. But not with Jirina. "When I left Wyldern...I did it knowing I would go back. And I know why I wanted to...because I wanted to show her something."

"And that would be?"

 _I wanted her to see how strong I could be._ "I was going to complete my studies at the academy and go back to show her I was a proper mage. That I was powerful...that I was strong enough for her not to have to stand in front of anymore. And..." _That I was worthy to stand_ beside _, that I had the guts to...to..._

But that wasn't everything. Even now, it wasn't the entire answer. The answer changed when her sight was restored, when Jirina asked that she remove the visor. The act itself spoke of some unprecedented trust, but what was underneath it had an impact just as strong.

 _That I have the guts to love her, as hard as it would be. That I think she's beautiful._

"Well, if that's the case then I'd say you've accomplished your goal."

"I suppose." though she questions the idea, considering Jirina hadn't wanted her going alone to Siltheria. But the thought is quickly tossed away. "Still..."

"Still?"

She puts her palms to her face again. "I'm making this all about me."

"Naturally. You're half of this matter, after all."

"I know." a groan, her shoulders hanging as she lowers her hands.

"So make it about her, then."

Which she manages with a surprising quickness. "I don't just want to make her proud...or soothe her pain...I want her to be _happy_. I want to give her that but...oh gods, I don't know how."

"Ah, so the truth comes out." he looks terribly pleased with himself, almost smug with a grin turning up his mustache. "I see. That settles things...at least from where I stand. I dare say you love the woman."

"I think you're right." though she doesn't sound so happy. Not as happy as she hoped she would once the conflicting question was resolved. "Now what?" and she looks at him, the helplessness in her eyes enough to make his breath hitch.

"I'm afraid it only gets more difficult from here. At least I would imagine so. As long as I've known Jirina, there's still so much I don't actually know about her. I've even wondered if the war left her with the capacity to feel such things."

Ria feels fear charge through her. Was that possible?

"Though...I believe there's still a chance. If she can find it in herself to try and protect you, there could still be love in there somewhere. But you can bet it will take some doing to find it."

She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I know. I've never doubted that. Thankfully I've always thought myself a patient person."

"And I certainly hope you're right." he nods to her. "Something like this will need a steady hand."

She nods and massages her eyes with her thumb and finger. "Heavens." she exhales. "I'm sorry for carrying on like this."

"My dear, don't be." he shakes his head, taking several even steps to take her up in an embrace. "I'm here for you, just as you're here for me. What good is that if we can't even talk openly with one another?"

"Thank you, Xero. You're as kind as you are handsome." she holds him tight about the chest, hands hooking behind his back, smiling.

"Oh my, that's quite the compliment." he laughs a little, taking a step back. "Would you like to continue our walk, or...?"

"Oh yes, please. It's too nice a day to go inside now." she nods once and takes his arm when he offers it like the gentleman that he is. And though her mind still buzzes with thoughts and images that make her heart flutter behind her ribs, they're far less troubling now. She almost feels lighter.

 _(-)_

The weeks go by one day at a time, some days seeming to pass much faster than others. The slow days are the hard ones, where Jirina can't stand sitting still or looking at the same four walls any longer. Where the idea of being unable to feed herself makes her spit curses like a dragon spits fire, and all she wants is to be alone to stew in her angry depression. On occasion her caretakers relent, letting her have some time to herself, but usually Ria is with her, trying to keep her occupied. Having quickly remastered the skill, Ria tries reading aloud to her from Clemett's tablet. The only difficulty comes in finding something that holds the other woman's attention, at the very least, bores her enough to she falls asleep.

Vic comes and goes from his rounds of checking her numbers and changing the dressing. Jirina watches him do it, sees the flesh and blood appendages on the end of what had once been stumps, but can't fully accept that they're there. It just isn't possible, and she accepts it as some sort of drug induced hallucination. That is, until perhaps a month and a few days after the operation when Vic takes the braces off, meaning to see just to see the full potency of the transplant. He takes her right hand first.

"You ready?" he waits for her consent. "I'm going to move it, so just relax. Tell me if there's any pain."

Jirina watches the Gadgeteer's big hands circle hers, one bracing her wrist while the other grasp her fingers. Gently -oh so gently- he pushes upward, bending at the wrist.

"There's a...tightness...but it doesn't hurt."

"So you feel this?"

"I do."

"Excellent." he nods, then slowly pulls down. "Anything?"

"Tenderness, as before."

"Good. I'm going to rotate it now."

She watches him, feels the stiffness again and warns him. Then he turns the limb the other way, bending the wrist twice more to the left and right respectively.

"So far so good." he sounds pleased, reaching into one of the numerous pockets in his shirt. He pulls out a small metal pin. "Now you should feel a little pinch. I won't pierce the skin, I just want to see how the nerves have healed." Vic jabs each digit with the pin, nodding every time he sees them move in reaction to it. The pinky finger's response is a little subdued, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much. When he sticks the middle of her palm, all the fingers come together as he predicts, and he does it a second time just to be certain.

"Try to move it on your own."

It takes a significant push on her part, but it's enough to make the digits curl and press around his hand. Her grip isn't as strong as it used to be, but it's stable.

"That's great." he nods again. "Should be strong enough to manipulate small objects, which puts you right on schedule in terms of recovery. Let me check the others now."

Jirina keeps her focus tight on the Gadgeteer so she doesn't give any credence to the way her heart has started pounding. Part of her is waiting for the inevitable mishap, the other shoe to drop as she's heard it before. Another part of her is still hoping things will go right for a change. And she doesn't know it, but Ria has a similar feeling.

The left arm behaves in the same manner as the other, with natural responses and a secure but light grip. Her feet are a little more difficult for him to test, Vic trying his best not to show amusement at finding them ticklish. He assures Jirina that it's a good sign, proving there's significant sensation in the new appendages. He tests them like her hands, manipulating the joint himself before asking her to do so. Then he takes the pin to each toe and several random areas on the sole before he was fully satisfied.

"As it stands, you're making wonderful progress."

Jirina nods. "How soon can I get out of this bed?"

"Not for a few more days yet." he sighs. "We'll likely start your rehab next week, give the soft tissue a little more time to recover. But, if it helps, we won't have to put you back in the heavy braces. Soft splints will do for now, and you'll have limited use of your hands."

"I can feed myself?"

"With some patience, most certainly."

"Orgran be praised!"

" _But_ be mindful of overworking yourself, all right?" He looks at Ria, quietly requesting she make sure of that. "And don't worry if there's any minor swelling, that's normal; with use there's greater circulation."

"I'll keep a close eye on it." Ria nods. "Thank you so much, Vic."

"Of course." He puts on the splints and does a last check of her numbers before he leaves.

Ria smiles and it only widens when she sees Jirina wearing a similar expression. "Can I get you something?"

"Anything I can hold." she laughs for the first time in days, seeming to marvel at her how her fingers move.

"I'll be right back."

When she returns she wilts with a smile. For a moment she just watches, Habibi sitting on Jirina's stomach while she slowly scratches his face and strokes his neck. All the while the she-Org smiles in a way Ria has never seen. When the porterkatt tests her fingers with his teeth she laughs, giggles even. She turns her head to briefly look at Ria, acknowledge she's there.

"His fur is so rough," she says.

"I know. Where he comes from can be quite cold and wet."

"And his teeth," she laughs again, "I can feel them."

"Don't let him be too cheeky with you." she cautions, walking to the bed. "He's terribly pushy."

"I don't mind. He's...kind of cute. And he just... _came_ with you from Siltheria?"

"He did. Sure, I might have bribed him a little, but it didn't take much."

"Who knew you would have a talent for taming wild things."

Ria almost chokes on her next breath, a terribly lewd imagine skating through her mind. She blames it on a dry spot in her throat. She tries to focus on other things, like getting Habibi out of the way so she put the tray in Jirina's lap. The cat comes to her, rubbing himself across her knuckles as he makes circles before spiraling up between Jirina's ankles. Ria keeps her attention on her, her hands and how they grab at the items on the tray in different ways, testing and curious. Most of Jirina's attempts are successful though she has to eat slower than she would prefer. And her grip begins to shake, forcing her to drop some of the heavier items. But it doesn't seem to frustrate her as badly as Ria expects. Sure, she curses every now and again, but its quiet, not nearly as sharp as it had been. Though that was likely to change during rehab.

And it does. That edged tongue of hers comes back in earnest from day one of the month-long affair. Two hour long sessions a day that consist of repetitious, every day tasks to help reacquaint the new appendages with her body and get them accustomed to use. It leaves her sore and frustrated, especially when some of the exercises don't come as easily as she expects. It seems like she _invents_ swear words to quantify her feelings.

After therapy, however, her irritation dissipates as Ria massages and puts cold cloths to her sore joints before putting the splints back on. This coupled with the Siltherian's quiet humming seems to soothe her enough. Strange. Well, perhaps not so strange, as it reminds Jirina of her mother who would often do the same.

Author's Note: My hand slipped. Last I checked this thing was only thirty pages, and even then I never expected there to be this much story to tell. And I'm just going with what comes to me, no real forethought in it. I dunno. Per the usual, questions are always welcome, and I'm pretty sure I've only got a few more chapters in me. Then again, I've said that before and been quite wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six**

"So what torture do you have in store for me today, Vic?" Jirina smirks with a small shrug as the Gadgeteer comes into the room.

"Oh, the worst I could imagine." he laughs, though the sound seems superficial. "I want you to go outside."

"Pardon?"

"Your therapy is going great and I think the muscles in your feet are ready to start carrying your weight without assistance." he says plainly. "I want you to walk around, get out of this room and get some fresh air. No less than a half hour and no longer than two hours, taking several breaks in between. So what do you say?"

She chuckles. "I'd kiss you if I were of the mind to."

"I'd prefer a 'thank you' instead."

"Then you have it." she nods.

"You're quite welcome." he returns the gesture. "Be sure someone goes with you, on the off chance there's a problem. Should I, or-,"

"No offense intended, but you and I spend time together enough as it is."

"None taken." he smiles under his cowl. "Normally we wouldn't have kept you so confined, but everything about this procedure is so sensitive,"

"I understand. You do as you must, I can't hold that against you." she shakes her head and carefully stands, bracing herself with her hand on the edge of it. "Have you seen Ria?"

"I haven't. I could ask around for her, have her sent here."

"No, just find out where she is." Jirina smiles, eager for the chance get about on her own. She doesn't hear the high pitched whistling of the Gadgeteer's outgoing signal to any others that are listening. A minute passes, a second, then "She's on Recreation. Should I walk you to the lift?"

"I'll manage, thank you." With a bracing breath she lets go of the bed and starts to walk, carefully and calculating out of the room. Once in the corridor she keeps close to the wall, arm ready to reach out and steady herself should the need arise. She reaches the lift without trouble, though she stumbles a little as the elevator begins to move.

Jirina's first thought as she steps off the lift is the garden at the far end of the floor, which turns out to be spot on. There she is sitting among the flowers and ferns, her familiar pouncing after insects that crawl around the roots and stems. She likes the look of happy surprise on Ria's face when she realizes she's here.

"Good afternoon." she greets casually. "Come here often?" and she laughs, mostly at herself.

"Not as often as I would like." Jirina crosses her arms with a little nod. "Would you help me with my therapy?"

"Of course, I didn't mean to be here so long. Must've lost track of time." she hurries to her feet, brushing the bits of soil and grass from her dress. "What can I do?"

"Walk with me."

"And?"

"That's all." and Jirin extends her arm in the almost customary manner.

"Oh. All right." and when the initial confusion passes, she accepts the gesture.

As they leave Eyre Jirina relays Vic's instructions, Ria nodding with a small laugh before complimenting Jirina on her steady strides. The feeling of earth beneath her bare feet brings a charge of sensation that shoots up Jirina's entire body, raising gooseflesh and a shiver. She feels the tingle of energy through the soil, taking in the aether through her skin. She had missed this feeling so terribly, a feeling that intensifies as they step into the grass that surrounds Castle Metaboline. Already she feels ten times better, stronger. She feels _good_.

"You think you'll be able to return home soon?"

"I certainly hope so. As beautiful as Arkose is," Jirina takes a breath, "you understand."

"I do. Would you still be willing to travel with me?"

For a moment Jirina is unsure what she means. Then she remembers. "Ah, yes, that. I said I would, didn't I? Then I will."

"Thank you." her grip tightens on the she-Org's arm. "I'm sure Wyldern is beautiful."

"Aye, in her own way. Most of the humans I know that have seen her would say the same." she nods. "Could I ask you why you stayed so long? Most of your friends returned to the academy,"

"I like it there." Ria answers easily, shoulders inching with a lilt of her head. "The energy feels good." _To say the very least._

"In spite of the wild mess it was in when you arrived?"

"I saw no mess."

"You didn't see _anything_."

"A technicality," Ria dismisses with her hand, "doesn't make it any less true."

Jirina laughs a little. "Still...I suppose it is the least I could do, considering everything you've done for me...for my homeland."

She feels herself blushing and hides her face, subtly mind you.

"I'm grateful." it sounds like she hadn't intended to say it, like the statement is an accident. "More than I'll ever be able to repay.

Ria disagrees, but keeps the thought to herself. As far as she was concerned, Jirina doesn't owe her anything. She had only done what she thought anyone else would do -use her powers as a mage to help those in need- and did so happily. Receiving a royal appointment and being welcomed into the Org-Ta had never been her intention, she hadn't even thought either of those occurrences possible for someone like herself. Not a little blind girl. Not in a hundred years.

"You are more than welcome." is all she allows herself to say aloud. "You've done so much for me, so,"

"Have I?"

"Yes." one curt nod. "You believed in me."

"Hm." after a moment, Jirina slowly nods, though beneath the visor her brow is still knit in the middle, thinking. "Which reminds me, I never finished asking my question."

"Question?"

"Yes, the day of my surgery. The mechanic interrupted me."

"Oh yes," Ria swallows quietly. "What had you meant to say?"

Jirina clears her throat. "I'll have to think a moment."

Ria thinks it's funny with her having broached the subject without having her thoughts together. Jirina is usually so calculated. Though, as the silence between them grows, it makes her somewhat nervous. The desire to have her curiosity sated is almost too much, but she keeps it in check as they continue walking.

Their path eventually takes them around the palace and its courtyard, and then to the path leading down to the harbor. Still without a word Jirina takes it, leading Ria along. There are a few men working on the docks, repairing ships and loading cargo, too focused on their task to notice them. Jirina sits on the end of the pier, offering for Ria to do the same. Air quietly hisses through her teeth as she puts her feet in the water, reveling in the sensation. Ria does the same after taking off her shoes, her legs just long enough, finding the water lukewarm when she expected it to be cold.

Jirina knows what she wants to ask, never forgot her first attempt from more than a month ago. But it's an awkward questions, feels like there is no best way to say it. No words seem to fit her mouth properly in its regard. Why worry so much about it, she wonders. It's just a question, it probably won't mean anything.

"Do you remember the day you left Wyldern?"

"I do." Ria nods passively. Her heart starts to flutter, anticipating. "I remember you let me hug you." a little giggle.

"I did." Jirina smiles, staring down at her reflection in the water.

"You actually hugged me _back_."

"Yes." her own small laugh. "But that wasn't all."

Ria's heart hitches in her chest, body flushing with anxious heat. She knows what's coming. Something in her cringes, a pang of regret standing at the ready.

"What did it mean?"

For a time she can't speak, just worries her lip between her teeth as if in thought. Though it's a simple question, there is no simple answer. "Do friends not...do that?"

"Perhaps where you are from. In Wyldern it is different."

"Oh. I-I'm sorry if I might have mislead you, I didn't mean to."

"It's quite all right." she nods slowly. "I'm not angry. It's why I asked. Our ways are vastly different."

"So it seems." Ria takes a breath, her hands folding tightly together. "What does it mean in Wyldern?"

"It is for the ones we love. Parents to their children, wives to their husbands. It's...intimate."

"Oh." her heart is hammering against her ribs now, her next words perched on her tongue. "Then..."

"Then what?"

 _Gods preserve me_. "Th-then...it's what I meant." She watches from the corner of her eye as Jirina's head slowly turns, and hunches under the weight of her gaze. Like a scared rabbit she waits for the inevitable fall out. And the wait will feel like forever.

Finally. "When?"

"I don't know." it comes out as a meek groan.

"Hm. Why?"

" _I don't know_." there are too many things, so many of them without names or explanations. What the hell kind of a question is _why_ anyway?

"But...it is how you feel? Truthfully?"

"Yes. I believe it is."

Jirina only looks at her a moment longer, brow still creased behind her visor. Then she puts attention back on the water, on the ripples radiating outwards from where the water meets her legs. Initially she isn't entirely sure how to feel, all she can register is the mild jump in her heartbeat. She twiddles her thumbs, briefly amused at being able to do so, trying to process what it is going through her.

"I do not know...what I should say."

Ria swallows, her chest clenching. Her mind buzzes with a sudden realization; what if Xero had been right? What if she couldn't...

"I'll understand if you don't feel the same." she blurts out. "Or if you...can't. It's okay."

"What makes you think I can't?"

She shudders, feeling like she has said something stupid. "Just...the war."

Jirina takes a deep breath, exhaling through her nostrils. "I suppose that's fair. I'm sure I do not come off as a very...loving person."

"That's not true." Ria counters quickly. "You just...have your own way about it. You've always been so gentle with me. Protective."

Jirina nods. "But you have a right to wonder. The war was...quite unkind to me. And even though it is over..."

"It follows you."

"Yes. So it would seem." the nightmares, the cynicism, the knee-jerk desire to keep everyone at a distance physically and emotionally. Don't get attached. Loss doesn't hurt if you don't feel anything for anyone. "But it's what I know."

Ria nods to herself. "I hope I didn't come on too strong."

"I can't say." she shakes her head. "I've never been in love before. Not that I can remember. I don't know anything about this...give and take. Do you?"

"A little." she squeaks.

"Then you will have to teach me how it's done."

When the words sink in, Ria's back straightens and she snaps her head to the side so she can look at her, her expression tinged red and wild with a mixture of hope, disbelief, and perhaps mild confusion. Had she heard that right? Her jaw slackens, her lips parting as if to speak, but nothing comes out.

"What? Don't tell me you've lost your courage now." Jirina smirks. "Which makes me wonder, all that time as my court mage, did you flirt with me?"

Heat swarms her face and she feels the need to hide again.

"I'm taking that as a yes." a little laugh. "I initially thought it was just you being...you. But now...it makes sense. Does anyone else know?"

"I spoke to Xero some time ago...just for some advice."

"Ah. And what did he say?"

"That...I would have to be patient. Which I don't mind. It's...we can...it's up to you."

"Is that so? Hm, interesting." Then, after a moment, she stands up. "Let's continue on, Vic is expecting me back soon."

Ria looks up at her, then to the hands she offers. "Shouldn't we talk this through?"

"Later. I need time to think."

"Oh. All right." and while it feels amazing to have all of this off her chest, no longer a secret, she's still anxious. Not knowing what the future holds can do that.

 _(-)_

Jirina will spend a total of two months in Eyre, and while she is eternally grateful to the Gadgeteers for their help, she isn't sad to leave. Now that she is whole and able she wants nothing more than to return home. She offers up genuine gratitude in handshakes and words of thanks, but not without a hope that she never needs to return. But she cannot leave the city before Clemett is given opportunity to fulfill his promise; he still owes her a beer.

Xero will join them at the bar, but also on the afternoon ship headed for Khelestra. No need for him to take a separate ship when he could reach Siltheria from the Magic Academy with less inconvenience to anyone. Besides, it is a good opportunity to spend a last few hours with his friends, not knowing when he will get another chance.

Jirina wouldn't sequester herself to the cargo hold for this voyage, having a noticeable desire to be on deck and watch the sea, watch as clouds gather overhead and start to darken. The coming storm isn't so great, plenty of rain with a little gust of wind here and there. The she-Org shoulders the drops of water without complaint, actually enjoying the novelty of it. Leaning against the side, she lets it gather in her hands and lets it fall to the see below, smiling. When the simple gesture fails to distract her, she allows the heavy thoughts lingering on the back of her mind to come to the front.

To think the mage...it certainly comes as a surprise. She doesn't know much about attraction, but has always thought that one's appearance played a significant part. Did Ria think she was...but how? As a woman, men had either avoided her due to her extraordinary stature and ability -seemingly intimidated- or treated her as more like a brother. Thus Jirina simply cannot fathom what Ria must see in her to feel the way she claims. Never mind the scars. As for Jirina, she has always thought Ria to be exotically charming.

Worry works her features beneath the visor. Perhaps her protective nature led Ria to believe there was something more...it certainly wasn't her intention. But, as she lets the idea roll around, she realizes that she doesn't show her few other friends similar attention. Ria had become a special circumstance. How on earth had that happened, and so obviously without her notice? Perhaps it was the girl's inherent compassion, her gentility so unlike Jirina's own tendencies. Part of her was drawn to it, quietly lured by something soft and warm like a moth to a candle. Wherever Ria is, there is comfort; a refuge so rare Jirina had no idea it was there until now. That same part of her wanted to safeguard it, shield it from anything that might cause it to break.

But was that the same as...then again that particular emotion can take countless forms. No two are alike, a truth that leaves her briefly troubled. What would _she_ know about it? Her parents -or anyone else for that matter- hadn't been able to teach her what it meant to love, to be loved by someone this way. Wyldern had been such an unloving place for so long...

 _And there was never time._

She takes a deep breath and exhales between her teeth, fingers lacing together in front of her. There is so much to consider. Jirina doesn't want to hurt Ria, that much is clear, be it by turning away her affection or offering her something she simply can't give. But there are others things; at her age and with lengthy contemplation from the comfort -or discomfort- of her recovery bed, Jirina decided she didn't wish to be so isolated anymore. However she wouldn't soothe that ache at another's expense, certainly not Ria's. The self-doubt is smothering and she can't think of a way around it. She decides it's best to put it away for now.

It's still raining when the ship docks at South Cartoff island, allowing them to disembark after extending their last farewells to Xero. The Mage Warrior embraces them both, blaming the redness in his eyes on the rain. Jirina and Ria can still see him waving from the ship as they climb the trail to the top of the rock formations. The old man had always been one for long goodbyes.

The three of them, Habibi in his usual place, take the passage quietly, not speaking much other than warnings of unsavory steps down. And while Ria is more than accustomed to not being able to see, she still needs help navigating the unfamiliar cavern, snatching Jirina's wrist without a second thought. The she-Org steadily guides her through, eventually gathering the smaller woman in her arms when she feels the path simply too treacherous, not setting her down until the light of Wyldern's pseudo-sun floods the cave.

Ria almost wriggles free, eager to be on her feet on come out the other side. Habibi whines from where he lays around her neck, not liking at all the shaking the mage is putting him through in her hurry to emerge atop Big Mesa. She stops just at the edge of the path, hands over her mouth and eyes wide.

Jirina is smiling as she casually walks to her side, arms folded as she takes in the vista. "What do you think of her?"

"Gods on high," Ria breathes between her fingers, "I've never seen anything like it...it's _beautiful_." she can see the towering stalagmites separating the three regions, the various shades of tan and brown that make up their countless layers. And below she makes out the near sheer face of the mesa to its roots. "What's that down there?"

"The Devorian village."

"Oh! And that?"

"It's the council building. And there's the palace." Jirina points further with a tip of her chin.

For a moment she has nothing to say, her head working back and forth with awe still stretching her features. "Magnificent. Where are we headed?"

"South from here, then to the east. The Queen's Road cuts right through the spires."

"Can we...maybe take our time going back?" she looks at Jirina with anxious hope.

"If time were all we needed, certainly." Jirina nods once. "But we haven't any provisions or money. We will make time to come back someday, as I promised you."

Ria sighs longingly, conceding. With a reluctant nod she starts down the trail, habitually leading with her staff with Jirina just behind her.

They will make one stop on their way back to Pay's Hom. Ria manages to convince Jirina to visit Mezzick, as he is most likely at his wit's end with worry and would find great relief knowing she is all right. An assumption that turns out to be quite true. While he isn't home when they arrive at the Org-Ta outpost barracks, once he does he is all hugs and smiles to his visitors. It's hard for him to keep his composure when presented with the Gadgeteering wonders of Jirina's new appendages and Ria's restored eyesight. He goes back and forth between them, carrying on as much as he had the day his child was born. Which is to say a great deal. When he demands they stay the night they simply don't have the heart to refuse.

"I can't believe it." Mezzick says it for perhaps the tenth time, shaking his head, marveling. "Not once did I ever think even the Gadgeteers could do such things."

"That lot is full of surprises." Jirina nods, sitting across the worn wooden table from him.

"Thankfully, most of them have been pleasant ones." Ria adds after swallowing. "I can't wait to see the rest of Wyldern."

"You'll like the Tanglewoods." Mezzick nods. "And the Toparri groves."

"What are the groves like?"

"The Toparri live in giant mushrooms."

"What?" her eyes widen, disbelieving. "How do they-," she can't finish.

"Much like their cousins, they have morphic influence over plant life. They can make them any size they choose." Jirina explains in passing, gathering another spoonful of food.

"And how soon are we going?" the mage laughs.

Jirina is smiling as she chews and swallows. "I wish to wait until after the freedom festival at the very least. My neighbors like seeing me there."

"As well they should. There would be no festival without you." Siri says firmly, finally coming to the table with Ima on her breast.

"Are you all right, wife?"

"I am, just tired. I apologize."

No offense taken by anyone, the dinner conversation continues and breaks up into various topics which carries on for hours. At the conclusion, the dishes taken care of, Siri hands Ima off to her father, saying she will return shortly. A kiss before she leaves and he returns to the table.

"Is she all right?" Ria asks cautiously.

"She's fine." he nods, bouncing the baby against his chest. "She walks when she's in a certain mood, helps her clear her head."

"What's wrong?"

"Just old things. The war. It comes along with the festival." he explains briefly. "Memories. I'm sure you understand."

"I do." Jirina shifts in her chair with a shrug. "Does she ever talk about it?"

"Rarely. I know it's because she doesn't want to change my opinion of her, though it wouldn't. And it makes me wonder," he pauses, holding Ima a little closer, "how much harder the war was on our women."

Jirina contemplates the idea, never having done so with any real effort before. She had seen the conflict from several sides, finding it equally terrible, but the nature of the horror was unique for everyone. Though it still had its patterns. Men were often murdered by the dozens and met with extreme violence. It was because they had posed the greatest threat. Those women who couldn't fight were still valuable.

"We became commodities." she says almost absently. " _Things_. Objects. I suppose you can imagine what that means."

"I can. To think of anyone having hurt Siri...sickens me."

"It should. It's meant to make sure we fight harder next time." Her hand slowly tightens into a fist atop the table, knuckles paling for a moment. She doesn't expect Ria's much smaller hand to curl over it, holding tight. She meets the Siltherian's eyes, their sympathy, and feels her heart hitch. "But here's to hoping there never is a next time."

"Indeed." One curt nod as he pats the baby's back. After a moment her smiles. "You know, now that you're well...would you like to hold her?"

Her cheeks flush light blue, a little sputter as she tries to speak. "Um, very well."

Mezzick laughs a little as he stands up, coming around the table, giving soft suggestions how its done. Mind her head, the other arm goes beneath her, there. "Not so difficult?"

"I...no, I suppose not." Jirina's tense, wary of the child's frailty. There is an awkward discomfort at first which spikes as Ima squirms a little, legs kicking outward with arms flailing. Still too small to wear a visor, her blue eyes search around, eventually settling on Jirina and Ria who lingers just over her shoulder.

"Do Orgs typically have such big babies?"

"No, but they grow fast. And Siri is a wonderful mother."

"I don't doubt. She'll be a fine young woman someday. Maybe even Org-Ta."

"Wouldn't that be something?" he smiles from ear to ear, almost laughing. "We're seeing more of them in the ranks every day."

"Good. Proper matriarchs for a new generation." she sounds pleased to say. "Don't think I haven't noticed the work you've done to restore the Org-Ta. I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you." his tucks his chin, humbled. "It feels like what I was meant to do, so,"

"Seems your feelings were right." she grins at him.

"I suppose." he nods. "And what about you? What now?"

She takes a moment to think, watching Ima as the baby takes hold of lock of long sable hair with both hands. "It would seem I've...come into a new chapter in my life." she looks to Ria for just a moment, long enough to catch her gaze before turning back. "So I'm going home," though this time, perhaps for the first time, it sounds like she means it, "to meet whatever it has in store for me."

Ima laughs, though no one is sure why.

Author's Note: Somehow this is still happening, though I'm not sure how. Next chapter (or chapters) are going to focus on Jirina and Ria's relationship and how it grows. I'm going to be trying out some new things with these two, so if it seems really awkward or unusual, that's why. Enjoy, thanks for reading, and all questions are welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven**

 _(This chapter will be broken up into several scenes that occur over no definite span of time.)_

The day starts with Ria's not-so-subtle request for a hammock.

"I can't handle the floor anymore." she groans, massaging her neck as she sits across from Jirina at the small table. "I tried, but I can't."

Jirina works on a fresh clay tablet. "Then I shall make you one."

"You don't have to trouble yourself, just show me where I can put it and I'll do it myself."

Jirina looks up, briefly scanning the room. "There isn't much space as it is...I suppose you could put it where you wish."

Ria's hands fold together, the pads of her thumbs meeting as she looks a away. "...Could it be near your bed?"

"Hm? Why?"

"Oh...you know." she's blushing.

"No, I don't. That's why I'm asking." she shrugs, her tone flat.

The mage sputters a little, trying to muster up some courage. "...Because it's closer to you."

Jirina lets the corner of her mouth curl a little, amused. "Very well, if it pleases you. Give me a little more time and I will get started."

"Thank you." she's smiling harder than she thinks she should be. "What is that you've been working on?"

"My memoirs."

"Oh! Sounds exciting." Ria leans onto the table, propping her chin on her hands and supported by her elbows. "Could I read them?"

"Can you read Orgish?"

"I...no." she pouts a little.

"Then I suppose not. Besides...it's not finished."

For a moment Ria's quiet, watching as Jirina continues to scratch symbols into the clay. Then "Would you teach me your letters?"

"There's a school." she replies simply. "You could go there and learn."

"But I want _you_ to do it."

Her hand pauses, setting down the tool with a small shrug. "And you say the cat is pushy."

Ria giggles. "I'm sorry. Would you prefer I leave you be for a while?"

"No, it's all right. I'm just...I don't usually have company. I'm so accustomed to being alone." so much so that too much interaction, even with Ria, feels like sandpaper scrapes just under her skin. She feels this urge to isolate herself even though that isn't what she wants. Her voice becomes an irritation that Jirina cannot explain or describe. Somehow it just happens. "My apologies."

"No need. Perhaps there is an errand I could run for you?"

Jirina thinks for a moment, unconsciously taking the small tool in her hand again. "I will give you some money...you can got to the market and fetch what you need for your bed." She scratches a few more symbols into the clay before standing up.

There's a hole in the floor just big enough for Jirina's arm to fit inside behind the few books on the shelf. Reaching into she finds the small bag full of hexite, pulling it out and opening it. A collection of hexagonal shaped coins fall into her open hand, she counts them at a glance before shaking free a few more.

"This should be enough." she passes the currency to her.

"Is there something in particular you need?"

"Just cloth and rope strong enough to hold you." she puts the purse back in its place. "And wear your tabard please."

"You think I need it?"

"It will keep you safe. They aren't used to having a human around yet." and she sounds sincere as she sits down again. Severely so.

"All right, if it will ease your mind." after pocketing the coins she goes to her travel bag for her runes. She ties them in place and grabs her staff. "Better?"

"Much. I don't mean to smother you,"

"You're not, don't worry." she laughs a little. "How do you measure fabric here?"

"By the head."

For a moment she cringes, imagining how that must have come about. Knowing the nature of Wyldern, it was likely a hell of a story.

"I'd say you're about five heads."

"And you?" Ria asks, just curious.

"Seven."

"Oh. All right. I'll be back." and she pauses as she passes the table, bending down to press a kiss to Jirina's cheek before leaving. Jirina has a similar reaction as she had with the first one, touching the spot with her hand and smirking, her cheeks a little blue. She tries to keep working.

A few more tablets are completed by the time Ria returns, her little feet kicking the door to announce herself. Her hands are full when Jirina allows her in. Jirina watches, curious, knowing with some confidence that what she went to the market for shouldn't have been so cumbersome.

"I couldn't help it." Ria begins explaining as she sets the items down in a chair. "A man was selling Banori wine. I've never had it before." She carries a small, oblong shaped pot in both hands, the vessel sealed with a dried clay plug.

Jirina's brows lift beneath the visor and she lets out a puff of air. "This should be interesting."

"Are you saying I can't hold my liquor?"

"Not at all, in fact I haven't the slightest idea how this will agree with you. I meant what I said, though, I'm eager to find out."

"I suppose it'll be worth it if I can make you laugh."

Jirina chuckles to herself as she unfurls the heap of fabric, holding it draped over both arms. "Did you mean to get this much?"

"I did."

"Why?"

"..."

She sees the redness in Ria's face. "Out with it, woman."

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind if it was big enough for both of us." she explains, sounding a little nervous to say something so...presumptuous. "I think you would find a hammock rather comfortable...given the chance."

For a moment there is no reaction of response from the former empress. Then, when Ria starts feeling the guilt of what she should have known was a mistake, Jirina sighs.

"Barely here a week and you're already trying to get me in your bed." she shakes her head, the effort not to smile evident on her face. "What am I going to do with you?"

All Ria can do is hide her face in her hands and giggle like a fool.

"Come now, get a hold of yourself and help me." Jirina is smiling too, enjoying the bright sounds she makes.

Most of the time is spent sewing seams into the cloth to thread the rope through. Ria has to watch Jirina, never having been taught the skill. It looked simple enough and she only stuck herself a few times, smiling wide at the she-Org's compliments on her stitching. After that, Jirina works on the walls with her hands and little magic to hollow out a pair recesses across from each other. This way, the hammock would hang at a right angle over Jirina's bed, leaving enough space for them to get in and out without getting stepped on or disturbed.

Before they can even get a good look at their finished labor, Habibi crawls out of wherever he had been hiding and jumps into it, the hammock swinging much to the animal's confusion.

"At least _he_ likes it." Jirina nods.

"Don't you?"

"It isn't my bed." she inches her shoulders. "Are you satisfied?"

"Let's see." Ria smiles at her. She walks up to the hammock, smoothing her hands over the inside of it, Habibi trying to chase at them before flopping on his side. She pushes down on it gently and then shrugs. "Oh dear."

"What's wrong?"

"...I'm too short."

Jirina looks at her moment, realizing she might have indeed hung it a little too high. She could almost imagine the little mage fighting to climb into bed, like a ghoulbird chick clinging to a branch as it learns to fly, awkward and fumbling. She even chuckles. "Here, grab him."

Ria does as she's told, curious until Jirina takes her up in both arms and sets her down in the hammock. Almost immediately she smiles, pleased, comfortable. "It's quite nice. Join me?"

Her initial thought is to decline. She wasn't of the mind to lie down, not when she could keep writing. But the way Ria looks at her has a tendency to sway her decision. Carefully, mindful not to tip it over, Jirina lifts her leg and leans into it. With Habibi still in her arms Ria shifts to make room, giggling as the hammock pitches from one side to another. Jirina's weight pulls everything to the middle, the little mage rolling to the center, snug up against her side. Now flat on her back, Jirina has her hands up, waiting for things to settle, including her own heartbeat.

Habibi scrambles down from the hammock, feeling crowded. Ria props herself on one hand, the other resting on her own hip. "What do you think?"

"It's a bed." a little blueness has flushed her cheeks. She tries to lift her other leg into the hammock but fears it turning over, so she leaves it flat on the floor. For a moment they just look at each other, Ria smiling and Jirina unsure as to why.

Ria stretches along her side, tucking close, tentatively resting her head on Jirina's sturdy shoulder. She can feel her tensing, hands still raised in anticipation of something. "You can put your arms down."

"Oh. I don't know where to put them."

A little chuckle. "Wherever you want."

She _wants_ to put them back to work, but realizes that work can wait. She carefully puts them down, content to let them rest on either edge of the hammock. Her heart still thrums against her ribs.

"Push with your foot a little." comes a small request. The smile on her face stretches wider as the hammock gently swings steadily back and forth. "It's so comforting."

"I'm glad."

"What do you think?"

"I could learn to like it, I think." her mouth works to form more words, but they stop, her body tensing at the feel of Ria's small hand smoothing over her stomach.

Ria must have felt it. "I'm sorry, is this wrong?"

"N-no. I don't think so."

"Your heart is beating awfully fast. Are you sure?"

"I'm fine." she assures her. Jirina stares at the ceiling, thoughts racing like her heart. With a deep breath she moves one hand, unhooking it from the fabric. It shakes a little, but eventually settles over the mage's.

"I never realized just how big your hands are."

"Always have been. Bigger even than my brother's."

"Was he big like you?" Ria asks gently.

"No. Close, though."

"What was he like?"

"My eldest brother was Org-Ta, like me. He always knew I would follow in his footsteps." she smiles a little, remembering her sibling with a bitter sweetness. "My younger brother never got the chance."

A stretch of silence, then "Could I...what happened?"

"He died." she replies, tone flat and neutral. "They all died." Mother had died in the mines, beaten to death. Kalen, her older brother, was executed along with several others after Hokum reclaimed Pay's Hom. Her father and younger brother were both tortured and killed as she helplessly watched. Just before she lost her hands and all hope along with them.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Jirina isn't sure what to say, so she remains quiet. On a whim she laces their fingers together, just to know what it feels like. Looking down she marvels at the stark contrast of her very pale skin tone against Ria's rich copper color. She gives it a tentative squeeze, surprised when she reciprocates.

Jirina takes a deep breath. "I feel...I need to tell you," she exhales and pauses, not sure how to continue even though all the words were right there when she stared.

"Is something wrong?"

She swallows. "It's just...I don't know."

Ria lifts her head. "What do you mean?"

Another deep breath. "I don't know...what you need...what you want to be happy here. To be happy with me," and finally, "I don't know how to love you."

Ria feels a surge of something in her chest, something that she can only describe as a commingling of anxiety and sympathy. For a moment all they do is look at each other, and Ria can almost feel Jirina's eyes begging for a reaction of some kind.

It takes some doing, but the mage finds her response. "I'll let you in on a little secret,"

The former empress offers up her undivided attention.

"No one knows. To an extent, even _I_ don't know. And by the same token, I don't know how to love you either."

If this was meant to be reassuring, Jirina thought Ria was way off.

"But...here we are, trying anyway. And...I'm of the mind to keep trying...so long as you are. We could learn together."

Is it really be that simple? Not that simple meant easy, but...

"...All right." Jirina smiles, uncertain, unsure of what she's in for. "So...what is you want from me?"

Ria settles back down, resting on her shoulder again. "For now, just this. The rest will come in it's own time."

 _(II)_

It's called the Banori wheezes, earning the name from its prevalence among the bat-hybrids and their habit of spreading it to others in annual bursts. Not typically lethal, but a long winded illness that one catches only once unless they're of weak constitution to begin with.

Jirina feels awful, convinced Ria must have caught it from her. Those who have been through it once tend to carry it, and it is hard to watch the human suffer with it. She coughs and coughs for hours, all bundled up in her hammock with Jirina's Devorian blanket to keep her warm. The cat sits on her belly and just purrs and purrs loud enough to be heard throughout the house.

She does her best to at least comfort Ria, situating a chair near her bed to keep her company while she's awake, bringing her plenty of Wyld Root tea to fight off the illness even though she can't stand the taste. Jirina gently rocks the hammock with her foot to help her find what little sleep she gets. Strangely she does it all instinctively, as if it's natural, which it has never been. Now that she thinks it over, she has been guilty of several strange behaviors lately. She's been...softer, at least more aware of her softer tendencies. Morning greetings and kisses goodnight -still on the cheek, an unusual desire to communicate; not once in her life could she remember ever _wanting_ to talk just for the sake of it. And she liked the way she touched her, Ria didn't trigger the typical reaction to shy away. Little gestures here and there that brought skin to skin; braiding her hair as she worked, taking hold of her hand in the night. Once she massaged her massive shoulders and Jirina could have sworn she nearly fell asleep.

What was this woman doing to her?

Though the question doesn't stem from some fear or ill-at-ease. It's laced with an uncommon fondness, innocent curiosity regarding quiet change. Change that, for the first time in years, doesn't bring her misery.

Her attention is snatched by the jerking shift in the hammock, the cough and grunt that cuts the silence. Then there's something like words croaking through the blanket, nothing Jirina can make out. "I'm here." She says, on the chance that whatever she heard was a question. Another grumble. "Speak up, woman."

"I think...I'm hungry."

"That's good. You haven't eaten anything in days." Jirina gets up from her chair. "I will make you something."

The blanket is pushed back, the cat folded underneath. "Could you help me up? I can't stand to lay here anymore."

"Of course." Jirina knows the feeling, sympathizing as she gathers the girl up along with the blanket. The porterkatt slips out and curls up alone in the hammock as his mistress is deposited in the chair. Jirina makes sure to keep the blanket snug around her, a bit of it tucked beneath her feet so they don't touch the cold stone floor. Ria's hair is messy, her eyes are red, tired looking with dark circles hanging beneath them.

"Thank you." a little cough works its way out, her chin tucking to her shoulder to cover it up.

"You sound like you're getting better." Jirina says over her shoulder as she crouches down to light the stove with a small flicker of magic from her hands. "Your cough is drying up."

"Thank goodness." Ria hugs herself, still feeling the remnants of a chill working through her.

"More Wyld Root should finish it off."

" _Ugh_ ," she groans. "I think I'll keep the cough then."

"None of that nonsense." Jirina grunts, straightening. "I'll not have you going to the festival sick."

A wheezy chuckle. "Our neighbors would rather I didn't go at all."

Jirina's head snaps to one side, looking back. "What do you mean?"

"Just a feeling is all. They all look at me...funny."

"I see. Has anyone said anything?"

"Not to my face." she inches her shoulders, wincing a little at the tenderness in her muscles. "I'm not worried."

"You deserve better." she turns her attention back to the stove. "You're Org-Ta."

"I'm also _human_...and the last human they laid eyes on tried to destroy them and their home. I can't expect them to treat me any differently."

In a way Jirina is angry, quietly furious that anyone would dare disrespect Ria that way. But in another way she is proud that her woman is so wise and patient.

 _My woman?_ She smiles to herself. "Fair enough. Though I hope you would handle yourself accordingly if it was ever more than that."

"With swiftness and conviction. Isn't that the saying?"

"Indeed." Jirina nods slowly, pleased. A part of her wants to say _I love you_ , a desperate and ill disciplined side of herself that can't come up with another way to quantify what she feels. But she simply isn't certain enough to follow through. She wasn't about to lie to her. So the words hang in her heart for now, quietly waiting. Perhaps the right time will come.

She will lay with Ria in the hammock after she is fed and stomachs a little more tea, keeping her close as she rocks them with one leg on the floor.

 _(III)_

Pay's Hom appears more festive every day. Strings of glass lanterns connect the buildings and market stalls at the town center, the sanctuary is often full of townsfolk aiming to get married during the celebration -the priest seems always so happy to receive them. A few dozen souls visit from Michi Village, planning to celebrate with those in Pay's Hom as per some new tradition, and they bring with them wares to sell and food and wine to share. The school children are hard at work crafting a large clay effigy of some hulking monster, which will be immolated in the town center fire pit in a symbolic gesture of liberation.

It's the school that Ria is heading home from, quietly excited to arrive. She's been studying hard on her Orgish and wants to regale Jirina in her new mastery of the language. Habibi follows just behind her gently bouncing steps, a mouse hanging from his mouth as he trots along. Together they go up the dirt path until it become worn stone steps, then just a little further on. A small collection of steps lays in front of her when she suddenly stops, hearing something from inside the house. An incredible _SNAP_ that only a deaf person could have missed. She hurries to the door.

"Jirina, are you all right?!" She jerks back the door only to slam it shut again, face paling and stretched with shock as she plants herself against it, holding back a scream with both hands over her mouth as something strikes hard against the heavy wood. For several long seconds all she can do is hold that position, hands now white knuckled around the handle of the door, heart hammering behind her ribs as she waits for whatever is coming next. It's so quiet on the other side of the door, and that does anything but reassure her.

Then "...Is that you Ria?"

She tries and fails at at a steady response. "Y-yes."

"...Can I open the door?"

She unwinds her hands from around the handle, taking two big steps back. She takes a deep breath, hoping it can get her heart back under control. Not as much as she would like. "Alright."

The hinges creak in rusty whimpers as the she-Org ducks and pushes through. Ria can see her skin shimmering with sweat, her chest working with quiet pants, the collar of her tunic dark with moisture. Her big hands shake at her sides, the pads of her fingers on one hand smeared dark blue. More of it forks around her mouth from a small cut on the bridge of her nose where the skin meets the seam of the visor.

Her fright dissipates, morphing into worry. "Are you okay?"

"It's nothing." Jirina replies, chin tucked, ashamed. "I'm...I didn't mean to scare you. I couldn't...I didn't know it was you."

"What happened?"

She pushes her hooked fingers over her scalp. "Can we talk inside? It's a mess now, but..."

"No, of course."

Jirina hadn't been lying, the house is indeed a bit of a wreck. What is left of the table and shards of fired clay are strewn about the floor. Both chair are toppled over and not in their proper places. But that isn't nearly as troubling as Jirina's posture. She hunches, shoulders tight, one hand rubbing on the back of her neck. Like she has something she _needs_ to say or do, but can't quite sort it out in her head as to how.

Ria watches her as she moves around the room, picking up the chairs and bringing them together. "Sit." she offers gently, almost surprised when Jirina complies. When they're in front of one another, Ria feels the static of her energy crawling over her skin, both hot and cold and biting. Jirina won't meet her eyes even though the mage tries gently to. She thinks to focus on the small cut on her face, maybe distract her a little.

She reaches for the visor with one hand, "Let's take this off," only to have it quickly and firmly snatched up by the wrist, their skin coming together with a _snap_. A fresh but brief panic makes her tense, she can feel Jirina's eyes on her, but that's the height of her reaction. In fact her expression only softens. "Please?"

"I-I'm sorry. Of course." she immediately lets go, as if touching her had been painful.

Ria gives quiet thanks and tries again, reaching with both hands to pull the metal away from her face and setting the visor in her lap. She tries to focus on the little cut instead of the deep lines pulling her features, or the darker blueness of her eyes. Had she been crying?

"It's not so bad. How did it happen?"

"I must have struck myself...or something. I don't know."

Ria takes a breath. "Look...I know you have your secrets -which is fine by me- but I feel like I deserve an explanation."

"And I agree." Jirina exhales after a moment. "You deserve much more after I...but it's...difficult."

"Could you try?"

Jirina takes another deep breath, rubbing her eyes with one hand. "I was working." she forces out. "And I fell asleep."

"You were writing, you mean?"

She nods. "It must have had something do with it...I had a nightmare. But when I woke up..." _I could swear I was still there._

"It followed you?" Ria tries gently.

"You could say that, yes." she shifts uncomfortably in her chair, eventually hunching over, propping her elbows on her thighs and letting her face rest against her palms. "I'm. _So_. Sorry."

Ria's quiet for a moment, feeling it best. She senses Jirina's hurt and vulnerability, feels it manifest as a sharp pinch in the middle of her chest. It's the kind of pain that comes from having your pride irreparably damaged, or realizing you're never fully in control even of yourself.

"It doesn't happen often." Jirina straightens, rubbing at the tears on her cheeks. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I know." Ria tries a smile, anything to maybe comfort her. "But I was more worried about you. I...didn't know what to think."

The mage watches as Jirina's face twists into something hard, painful looking, for a moment lost in the novelty of seeing the manifestation of her feelings this way. She waits, standing up when she's convinced she isn't going to say anything. Ria finds a cloth and wets it before coming to sit back down again. More carefully than before she reaches for Jirina again, aiming to clean the blood from her face. When that was done the she-Org is still quiet, still tense.

"Can," Ria almost stops herself, "is there nothing I can do?"

"Just," she's afraid to finish but swallows it much like everything else, "stay with me."

Ria's eyebrows reach for her hairline, sympathetic surprise widening her eyes and slackening her jaw. "Wha...why wouldn't I?"

"Because...you're afraid."

Her brows flatten and she sighs with a little smirk. "Just because you frightened me doesn't mean I'm _afraid of you_."

Jirina opens her eyes, her expression slowly softening.

"I'll admit, I was scared, but you should remember that I've never seen that part of you, not really. But it doesn't change how I see you because I know who you are, what you're really like. I just need some time to get to know the _you_ that your...experiences have made. I'm willing to try."

Dumbfounded, the former empress just stares at the human. Then, in spite of how horrible she feels, she smiles. "I don't know if you're brave or foolish."

"Likely a bit of both." Ria smiles too, feeling Jirina's energy roll back and settle. "Blindness can foster a lot of faith."

"So it would seem." she nods slowly. "...Thank you."

"For what?"

Jirina reaches out and takes her hand, copper swathed in storm clouds. But the gesture is brief and quickly evolves into her being pulled hard against the she-Org's chest, swallowed up in her arms. "...Just being you."

Ria blushes hard enough for it to bleed into her ears, she hides her face in the great swell of Jirina's shoulder. She doesn't ignore the shaking of Jirina's embrace, how it steadily tightens, or the almost frantic chanting whispers of "I'm sorry. I never want to hurt you." She takes it all in as a flower takes in the rain, accepting and graceful.

Finally she lets go, sniffling a little.

"Come now, let's keep ourselves together." Ria smooths her hands over her wide shoulders, "There's some cleaning to do."

"Yes. Yes, you're right."

"Though I'm curious,"

"What about?"

She returns the visor to her. "I know...remembering is hard for you. So why write about it?"

Jirina stands with a little grunt, covering her face again. "I'm hoping that...the stone will keep the memories so I won't have to."

 _(IV)_

Pay's Hom is all aglow with lanterns and bonfires, the largest of which circle the town center. At the center of the of the largest bonfire is the clay effigy, the flames licking around its fierce grimace and fangs. It will harden throughout the night and be destroyed as the last embers die, effectively ending the event. Everyone is gathered here, have been for the last few hours, reveling with songs and dances older than the town itself. And wine. Can't forget the wine.

Jirina's perched on the soft cap of an overgrown mushroom, separate but not excluded from the festival. She's much more the sort to watch than participate, it lets her appreciate how happy everyone is. She keeps an eye on Ria from here, more so an ear as she can hear her voice above all the others while her small stature keeps her from being seen. She isn't worried, Ria is more than capable of being on her own even though the other Orgs have yet to really accept her. They tolerate her presence and don't antagonize her.

When the mage finally emerges from the throng of bodies she's quieting a laugh and red faced with pints of wine in both hands. She passes one off to Jirina once close enough, leaning on the edge of the same mushroom.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"More now." Jirina tips her cup. "Thank you. What about you? This is the first festival you've been able to see."

"It's fine, though I can't help but imagine what it must be like in the capital."

"It _is_ a sight." Jirina nods, taking a sip. "But I believe this is better...more genuine somehow."

"In a way. How many years has it been now?"

"Seven, I think." another sip. "Yes, seven."

"Hm." Ria nods, tipping back her cup. "Lucky number." she licks a stray drop from her lips. "I don't suppose you dance?"

"You suppose right. I never had a chance to learn." and she wasn't about to embarrass herself in front of the entire town by trying. "Why? Do you?"

"A little. My aunt insisted I be well versed in the ways of my homeland. She wanted to be sure I could impress my future husband."

A burst of air that forms a laugh. "So much for that, eh?"

"Indeed." she laughs a little herself, throwing back the last of her drink which was still quite a lot. "Do you...could I dance for you?"

"I'm afriad Our Mother saw fit to bar me from ever being your _husband_ , Ria." another sip in gratitude.

"Still," her face reddens a little, "would you like to watch?"

Although she hasn't the slightest idea of what to expect, she humors her. "If it pleases you, be my guest."

"I need another drink first, it's been almost too long."

Jirina just laughs and promises to still be there when Ria returns. Though she wonders how more wine would help as the little mage has a strangely high tolerance.

But it does help, Ria convinces herself as she finishes off another pint, feeling heat pooling in her chest around her thrumming heart. Her hand only shakes a little as she hands the empty cup off to Jirina, moving with thoughtful steps to stand on even ground in front of her. She can hear the pounding of drums and clapping hands from the crowd behind her, following the rhythm in her head as she takes a bracing breath and starts moving.

Jirina wasn't sure just how long it had been since Ria danced, but clearly it hadn't been long enough to tarnish her ability. Almost immediately she can see why this was reserved for one's intended, there is absolutely nothing platonic about the way her hips are moving. And her hips is where her eyes focus as she sips her wine. When she finishes they just stare at one another, likely wondering what the other is thinking before Ria dissolves into blushes and giggles.

"Well?"

Jirina nods slowly, smiling. Her cheeks flush a light blue. "Very fine. I think I'd like to see more."

"You have to dance with me." is tempting response. "I could show you."

"I'm not a dancer." Jirina shakes her head. "I'm a warrior."

"Come on," she tries, lifting her hands and curling her fingers in a beckoning gesture. "The only difference is you aren't punching anyone. Just try."

Jirina chances a laugh. "No thank you, I'd rather watch."

"You can hold my hips and follow my lead." the human smirks.

"You realize I could hold your hips with my knees,"

Her smirk flattens. "Stop being so damn tall then."

"I like being tall." she takes a long drink, licking her lips. "And I like seeing _you_ dance. So please, if you would be so kind,"

Well who in their right mind would turn down such a sweet request?

The festivities last for several hours, culminating in the destruction of the effigy. Afterward the two of them walk arm in arm for the mutual comfort of touch as well as the stability they could find after one too many pints. They stumble through the door, laughing at each other, Jirina catching herself with both palms on the wall, hunching as she stops herself from falling. Ria is hanging on her arm, babbling something in her native tongue that she must have thought was hilarious. The Siltherian looses her balance and slumps to the floor, still giggling, tears now streaming down her face.

Jirina manages to straighten up, pushing her plentiful hair over her shoulder. "Y-your bed isn't on the floor, woman."

"I know." she gasps. "Help me up, please." and she reaches with both hands, doing her best to get her giggle fit under control. "Ow, don't drag me!" and as angry as she tries to sound, she actually isn't. Every following complaint is broken up with staggering laughter.

With moderate effort Jirina lifts her up by both wrists until they are eye level. The laughing stops for only a few seconds as they look at one another and then starts again, both of their heads tipping forward to touch together.

Ria tips her chin up and kisses the tip of her broad nose, making Jirina go quiet. She sets the human down, hands still around hers. "Time for bed," she exhales.

For a moment Ria thinks she might have done something wrong, perhaps pushed too far. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she follows Jirina to the hammock, offering up her arms for Jirina to lift her one last time. She's gathered up, and for a moment Jirina only holds her.

"You could blame it on the wine." Jirina says, almost sounding...disappointed?

Ria blinks in the dim light. "But...but I don't."

"...You're sure?"

She only nods.

"...I see." and in the back of her mind she prays, for what is uncertain, as she tightens her grip and lowers her head. She almost pulls away at the feeling of Ria's warm hands cupping her face as their lips meet with soft, testing pressure. The faint flavor of wine passes between them, not unpleasant in the least. Without thinking Jirina lowers her into the hammock, her arms shifting to support her back and shoulders. Her long black hair spills over her shoulders and around her face as she carefully pulls away.

Ria's smiling, hands still on her cheeks. "I liked that. Can we do it again?"

"When we're sober."

"You promise?"

Jirina feels her heart clench a little, humbled. Perhaps as a gesture meant to placate her until then, she strokes the human's cheek with the calloused pad of her thumb. "I promise. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Author's Note: Dialogue dumps for the win. The next chapter likely won't be much different, though it is likely to be the last. Perhaps longer than most of the chapters have been, but still the last. Now that we've seen many of the fluffy things surrounding these two trying their best, it's time to look at the less fluffy things, see where they lead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight**

 _(This chapter will be broken up into several scenes that take place over no definite span of time.)_

It is infinitely strange how life changes, and doubly so how it seems to do so around us without our notice or consent. One day you go to bed knowing exactly how tomorrow will be, down to the last shrug of emptiness, then you wake up and nothing is the same. And it happens just like _that_.

Jirina leaves early for the mine, but not before giving Ria a soft kiss on the cheek so as not to wake her. Habibi trills from his place tucked under the mage's arm, receiving an almost customary pat on the head. Jirina gives the hammock a little push as she steps away, mindful of the noisy hinges on the door as she pushes it open and shut again. She walks the path with an unusual lightness in her steps, she greets the few of her neighbors that she passes, she almost smiles. _Almost_. And all these things go unnoticed, by her at least. Like it is an every day occurrence that she has never strayed from.

When she arrives at the mine and signs on for her shift she greets the head foreman, asks about his family, says something about how it's been much too long since they had a drink together. He sputters on his words before awkwardly agreeing. He can't help but stare as she leaves his counter. Jirina takes the ladder down to Silver level, greeting the other miners as they navigate around each other. They have a reaction similar to the head foreman.

Jirina doesn't realize how different the mine feels today. It's the first time she has come here not feeling immediately drained just by entering the shadows within, the first time she doesn't fix her eyes ahead so she doesn't see all the reminders of people having died here. Today it is just a place, the place she happens to work, and in a few hours it will be the place she leaves to return home. The only thing about all this that breaks her concentration is the slow ticking by of the hours until her shift ends.

It's common practice for miners to go to Bronze level after a shift, the far west wing of that section having a large subterranean lake, to wash off before returning home to family that would easily be offended by the stink of their labors. The water is a cold shock to their hot fatigue. With her earnings for the day tightly tied to her waist, Jirina joins them, crouching at the water's edge and taking advantage of an unattended bucket. She pulls off her sweaty tunic and sets it aside, filling up the bucket and dumping it over her back and shoulders. She pays no mind to the other miners, they don't stare and she couldn't be bothered to care if they did. After a spell she soaks her sore hands and feet in the water just for the comfort. For a time her mind goes blank with a comfortable sort of static.

She doesn't catch the conversation of the two miners coming into the chamber, not at first. Their voices echo, blurring their words until they're closer. They crouch in unison near the water and strip, still talking.

"My aunt keeps hassling me to get married," one of them groans, "like it's as easy as going out and just _picking_ a woman to bring home."

The other laughs. "Innit'? If Jirin'maj's girl can do it, you can too."

"What makes you think it's like that?"

"What makes you think it isn't?"

"That human's awful tiny,"

This catches Jirina's attention. She doesn't move or shift her position, only listens.

"I know," a hoarse laugh, "she ought to split the poor girl in half. Though, t'be honest I'd like to split her in half m'self, if you catch my meaning."

Jirina tenses, snatching up her tunic and pulling it over her head before standing up.

"Neither of them have done anything to you."

"All humans are alike, greedy bastards the lot of them."

"Yet you're talking about taking one to bed,"

Another laugh. "I'd be sure to pay her for the trouble."

"You shouldn't say such things, and not so _loudly_."

"And why not? "

"It might come back to them. Especially Jirina,"

"What's that old cripple gonna do to me?"

"I could show you."

They both freeze, tensing, shoulders bunching around their ears. Their heads turn together, like twins, and both look at her with slack jaws. Her arms cross her chest, muscles raised tight beneath her skin. From where they are she must seem like a giant.

"I'm not afraid of you." one of them says, though he can't seem to hold her gaze.

"Good. And let us hope you have no fear of Ria either, for watching her change your mind would be most satisfying."

He stands up, a snap of motion that just barely puts him eye level with her chest. "You'd sick your human on me? Need her to fight for you?"

"Hardly. I've nothing to prove to you, though I could oblige you all the same if that's what you wish."

He swallows hard, his jaw working but no words making it out.

"Anything else? If not, I'll take my leave. And you," she cuts her gaze to the other one, "best find yourself better company. It'll do you well."

The encounter doesn't hang onto her mind for very long, once she leaves the mine it is all but forgotten. Jirina will linger in the marketplace long enough to purchase a portion of wine to satisfy a sudden desire for it. Not so much a desire to drink, actually, more so a desire to _share_ it.

Her eagerness to get home shows in the way she almost jogs along the path to her front door. Pulling it open and stepping inside greets her with a warming smell of food on the stove, her nostrils flaring as she takes it in. Before she can even close the door behind her the cat is circling her ankles, keeping her in place long enough for Ria to greet her with a smile and hugging her around the neck. A gesture she reciprocates, her powerful arms cinching gingerly at her waist.

It's times like these that make her notice how life has changed. There's something resembling love in this little house again, almost like the love that used to be when her family lived here. The faint sensation wraps her up and clutches gently at her heart, making her remember. But it isn't painful, it's humbling.

"Food's almost ready." Ria says softly, knowing her mouth is close to the she-Org's ear. "I hope you're hungry."

"I am. I've also brought wine."

"Oh, good...you can let me down now."

"Just a moment." just long enough for the threatening tears in her eyes to scatter. She doesn't loose her arms until she knows both of Ria's feet are on the floor. "So what are you making?"

"I got a couple of recipes from the school teacher, thought I would try them out."

"It certainly smells good."

"Good. Wyldernian cooking is still new to me."

"Could have fooled me." Jirina chuckles as she unties the small pouch from her belt. She sets it down on the table before taking a seat, watching as Ria returns to the pot on the stove.

"Everything all right at the mine?"

"Fine as it can be, yes." Jirina nods. "I'll likely go back again tomorrow...save a little more for our trip."

Ria smiles to herself. "When did you want to leave?"

"Soon. I think the time out and about will do me some good."

"Got a bit of wanderlust again?"

"Suppose so." She had never liked feeling confined. "Then again...it's with you, so perhaps I'm just eager."

The human's smile widens. "There's that."

Jirina doesn't miss the expression or her tone, watching her, enamored. "Woman,"

Ria lifts her eyes.

Jirina shifts in her chair, spreading her knees and patting one thigh with her palm. "Come and sit."

She stirs the pot one last time, checking another smaller one, and then eases around the stove and towards the table. Her hands fold in her lap as she sits down, perfectly perched on Jirina's leg, braced at the small of her back by her large hand.

"I missed you."

"As did I." Ria admits with a small redness gathering in her face.

Jirina's lips curl at the edges. It's nice to know someone's waiting for you, nice to feel wanted. She covers both of Ria's hands with her own. The difference in size always makes her stare a little longer than she should, doubly so this time as the other miner's words float around the back of her mind without having meant for them to. Ria really was so small in comparison to...

"May I?"

Jirina is jarred from her thoughts, realizing what Ria is asking about. She wants to remove the visor. She consents to it, blinking as the sheltering metal is lifted from her face. Her vision clears and Ria comes into focus, Jirina leans into the soft warmth of her hands as they frame her face. Four months ago touch like this would have been impossible, now Jirina regards it as a guilty pleasure. Something to keep secret from everyone but the two of them lest her neighbors think she's been tamed by some human.

Ria gently lifts Jirina's chin so their eyes could meet. "You have a beautiful smile."

"Aye?"

The mage nods. "Aye. And a fine face to go with it."

"Though I'm old enough to be your mother?"

"More like my _sister,_ we're not _that_ far apart." Roughly ten years. "But yes." She smooths a few sable strands from her face and chances to kiss her forehead. She presses her brow against the same spot her lips had been, smiling like a fool and trying not to laugh.

"My lips are here, woman."

"So I see." a little giggle. "What would you have me do, then?"

"Another kiss, if it pleases you." comes her breathy request.

"It would please me very much."

No awkward hesitation, no fumbling, their lips find each other with practiced ease and press with unspoken consent. Jirina's hand rises to cup her delicate jawline, her two smallest fingers hooking the bend of her neck and gently pulling. Ria's hands begin to roam as well, though downward, following the thick tendons in her neck to her collarbone. Both of them rest there for a moment, palms flat as Jirina's arm around her tightens, beckoning a small squeak from the human. From the waist up they are flush together.

"Is that too much?" Jirina manages.

"No." she replies quickly, not liking the absence of her.

"The food's going to burn."

"I'll make more."

Jirina laughs gently, the sound vibrating between them and seeming to stoke some sort of want in the human, the smaller woman pressing that much closer. Jirina feels the hot velvet of her tongue inquiring at her lips, making an intrigued hum as she allows it through. Ria's arms snake around her neck and tighten. After a moment, one breaks away and pushes underneath the rough collar of Jirina's shirt, fingers fanning apart. The mage feels the thick, uneven lines of scars across her shoulders and she pauses.

"What's wrong?" Jirina pants quietly.

"N-nothing. Just I...didn't want to...did that bother you?"

"Your hands don't bother me." Jirina shakes her head. "Though I thank you for the thought." she shrugs, loosing her grip. "You'd best mind the stove," and she tips her chin as she helps Ria out of her lap.

Ria feels she's done something wrong, a need to shrink up and disappear. What few words she thinks to say she cannot find, so she just focuses on her task. All the while Jirina sits at the table and strokes Habibi's face. The mage cannot decipher anything from her expression, no dismay or pleasure.

Then "I would have stopped you if I was upset."

For a moment they just look at one another. Then Jirina looks away, back to the porterkatt with her breath hitching in her chest. "Unless...do the scars bother _you_?"

She sputters a moment. "N-no, not...not like that. I mean...I didn't want to...bring anything up."

"Ah, I see." a slow nod as she lounges back in the chair, wood creaking under her weight.

"And," she's almost afraid to finish. She swallows the hesitation. "Just...knowing someone hurt you like that...hurts me too." Ria tucks her head so she can't see her reaction, too afraid to, and she lifts the pot from the stove. She still can't look at her as she sets the table and eventually comes to sit. Subdued, hands in her lap, she just waits for something. Anything. But they eat in silence.

"I'm not so frail." she finally says something, breaking some of the tension with all the fanfare of a piece of glass.

"I know." Ria forces herself to say. "But,"

Jirina raises one hand to stop her, pushing her bowl away with the other. "I know you worry, and I know you _will_ worry regardless of what I say, but there's no need to. I can handle it. What I can't handle,"

Ria winces. Here it comes.

"...Is you being too careful with me. If I thought I needed a nurse I would have stayed with the old man. But I need...whatever this is between us...because it makes me feel...whole...in some strange way. When I'm with you...I can forget about a lot of things."

The mage's face is swamped with redness, her warm brown eyes wide with surprise.

"So...please...give me a chance to feel it. To...discover if it still hurts."

"I-I'm sorry." Ria manages after a moment. "I didn't,"

"I know. It's all right." Jirina tries a smile, hoping to reassure her. "Now you know." a little nod. "Could I have some more?"

"Oh, p-please, help yourself." Ria quickly snatches up the other woman's bowl and fills it up. "So I did all right?"

"You did wonderfully."

"Good."

The conversation dies away again, long enough for Jirina to finish, now satisfied. Ria collects the dishes and clears the table. She feels like she has to say something more, but knows it isn't necessary. No need to keep harping on things like that.

"I made you something." she says instead.

"Oh?"

"Yes." she manages to smile. She had kept a small stone plate on the stove, near the back where it doesn't get as hot. "Just like I said I would."

"And that would be..." Jirina just smiles.

"Happy birthday."

It's a small, purple and lopsided roll, something she recognizes enough to smile a little wider. "I had almost forgotten. You didn't have to do this. Today isn't even," she's shaking her head.

"You never told me when it was, so I thought, what the hell." Ria laughs a little, standing there as if waiting.

Jirina exhales with a little laugh, taking up the small treat between two fingers and taking a bite. Ria starts giggling, covering her face with her hands when Jirina nods in approval.

"I certainly hope you don't do that the first time I take you to bed." and the she-Org can't resist laughing at the look on the human's face.

 _(II)_

"The stone cutter finished your tablets, I picked them up while you were at the mine."

Jirina looks at the sizable stack on the table. She takes a deep breath as she approaches them and picks up the tile sitting on top. "...It's finished. For now anyway."

Ria looks up from the cat who swats in protest of her divided attention. "Oh? Good."

Jirina feels her heart thrumming behind her ribs, her mind weighing what she was thinking to say next. Then she swallows. "If you're able...you can read it."

"...You're sure?"

"I am." one nod, her eyes low even though her back is to her. "C-can you read Orgish yet?"

"A little, yes. Simple passages."

"Then this shouldn't be difficult."

"Jirina," and Ria waits, hoping the she-Org will look at her. She does, half turning and allowing the human to see the low and tight knit at the middle of her brow. "You're certain?"

"I am. I know what you must be thinking...it's all right." Though she can't seem to explain how. Something about how it was all on her terms now, it was all up to her to decide who knows her deepest, ugliest secrets. Somehow it makes everything better, more bearable. And it _is_ Ria, what could she...

Jirina feels her gut twist against sudden doubt, but she shoves it down. The words were out, no sense in taking them back. "I trust you. And..." she swallows, "I want you to know. To understand." _I want to test you. But I swear it's only this once._ "Once you've finished...we can start our trip. Is that acceptable?"

"I...y-yes, of course. It's fine. So...right now?"

"When it suits you. I'm going fishing, I'll be back in a few hours at most." and then she's gone, didn't even kiss Ria goodbye.

Though the mage seems unfazed by the gesture's absence. She's hardly still for more than a second before she snaps up from her seat to get her hands on the first tablet.

Jirina treads the shallows of the lake, hunched with her hands in the water. She's feeling for the weeds that sprout from the lake bed, knowing the blind, albino fish tended to congregate around it. She catches a glimpse of one as it passes her wrist, brushing against her skin for all of a second. She goes stock still, waiting and watching. Her brows furrow hard beneath the visor, her thoughts split between her task and the worry working in the pit of her stomach like a mortar and pestle. Steadily grinding deep and deeper until it consumes her focus. A fish glides right over her palms in the water and she barely notices.

 _It's going to scare her away, you know it. Or worse, she'll walk on eggshells around you until you can't take it anymore and you beg her to leave. You don't want another mother, you want a..._

She cringes hard with a chesty snarl, trying to reunify her focus on the fish. She manages to catch one and tosses it on the bank before getting back to it.

 _She'll never look at you the same way again. She may smile and laugh like usual, but you know -on the inside- she's disgusted. Especially when she finds out about Greevus. Never mind that you were too young to really understand what he was doing..._

Another cringe as her hands clench like a bear trap beneath the water, just barely grabbing a fish by the tail.

 _What he did is all you know about...that. Bend over, be still, and don't scream. She'll be gone before you can blink. And you won't mind, after the hurt is over, you won't mind because you know she deserves better. Ria deserves someone as kindhearted and beautiful as_ she _is, not some old, battered-up epitaph like_ you _._

Part of her tries so hard not to listen. It's the same part that tells her it's okay to hope and dream, that life is about more than just waking up. The same part that tries to convince her that she can trust Ria, trust her to stay and at least _try_. The mage has said it again and again, and Jirina would give almost anything to be able to believe her without question. But...

Jirina submerges herself, hoping the dull vibration of water in her ears might settle her thoughts.

Ria is still reading when she gets home, at least that's how it seems as she quietly pushes through the door. All she can see is the back of her and she's gently hunched over, as one does when engrossed with a book. There are two stacks of tablets on the table, one significantly shorter than the other, no telling which ones she has read and which ones she hasn't.

The door groans as it closes. "...I've brought supper."

She doesn't say anything, making Jirina swallow the newly formed lump in her throat. Cautiously Jirina moves through the house, around the table to the stone counter near the stove where she lets the cloth bag full of fish rest. She's almost afraid to turn, to face her, unable to begin to suspect what she will see. Before she can decided what to do, face the music or just stand there like an idiot, she jumps at the screech of wood over stone. The chair moves and Ria stands up, quickly rounding the table. Jirina can feel her close proximity in a spike of anxiety, it scatters at the feel of her hand curling around her bicep and gently pulling. When they face each other the human wraps her arms around Jirina's waist as tightly as she's physically able, forehead just below the she-Org's sternum.

At first Jirina isn't sure what to do, though the hesitation might have lasted half a second. When she hears and feels Ria's small sob against her stomach she puts her incredible hands on her, hopefully comforting. She takes a deep breath, briefly wondering if this was it; this is when she tells her she wants to leave.

But that isn't what comes out of her mouth next. No pleas for release. Instead it's a chanting...apology?

"I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry," her voice breaks, her body shakes. "I didn't know,"

"Ria, what are you-,"

"I could have done something!"

Jirina feels herself deflate. "...No, Ria, please, don't do this. You couldn't-,"

"H-Hokum was interested in taking me as an apprentice, I knew he was! I could've...I could've,"

Jirina's grip tightens, bending at the waist to almost cover her up.

"I shouldn't have listened to Windleaf, she...and she hurt you! She was like a mother to me and all the while she was _hurting you_!"

It takes some doing but Jirina manages to pry Ria loose, but holds her arms to keep her in place as she crouches down, settling on her knees. "Please...don't cry for me."

"Someone should!"

"No," she counters softly, using the pad of one thumb to wipe at the tears on her flushed cheeks. "That isn't the way."

"Windleaf told me to hide from him." she tries to catch her breath. "B-but...if I hadn't...he would've brought me here, wouldn't he? I mean, the capital was once his palace, wasn't it?"

"Ria,"

"He would've brought me here and I could have _done something_! _I could have helped_!"

"You could have gotten yourself killed. Or worse, he might have wooed you to his cause. I can't stand the thought of that."

"But...but you-,"

Jirina stops her, shaking her head. "It's unimportant."

Ria gapes at her, reddened eyes unblinking and filled with a strange mixture of disbelief and pain that isn't her own. "H-how,"

"If you had not listened to your mentor, you would not be here. You would not have been there to cleanse the palace, or to save my life. You would not have been there for me during my recovery. _We_ would not be _here_. Everything in our past serves a purpose."

Ria catches her bottom lip between her teeth, reigning in a threatening sob. Fresh tears roll down her cheeks as her eyes close and she tucks her chin. Jirina had been prepared for a lot of things, most of all the human's pity. But she hadn't been ready for this, a manifestation of the key components of Ria that made her a superb healer. She was compassionate, empathic, she actually _felt_ the energy she sensed coming from others. Healing others wasn't just about easing their suffering, but her own. It's a level of understanding Jirina never expected to find in _anyone_.

"I'd like to believe that... _you_ are part of the purpose." Jirina continues, feeling as though she might be improvising a little. "I...feel as though I was meant to find you. Our Mother knew you would be able to help me. Though I'll admit I cannot see what you needed me for."

Ria's face scrunches tighter, chin to her chest, and her fingers hook into Jirina's thick forearms. "You shouldn't have had to lose... _everything_. It's not fair."

"Regardless...I would endure the same torture a hundred times if it meant...coming back to this moment. Just as it is." And it is the truth. She would leap into that darkness headfirst if the light of this time with her was waiting on the other side of it.

When Ria starts crying again Jirina only pulls her to her shoulder and holds on, lets her do what she must as her little arms cinch around her thick neck. After a moment she feels her own eyes burning a little. It's a strange feeling, someone crying over you for something they weren't responsible for. She really didn't know how to wrap her head around it. In any case, she sucks it down. That can be dealt with later.

When the worst of it is over, Jirina shifts to her feet, tucking one arm lower than the other to catch Ria's knees. "You should lie down."

"Don't baby me." she sniffs.

"I'm not. Just doing what you surely would have done for me. Though I doubt you'd be able to carry me."

"I'd try."

"I know." Jirina smiles, a little smug.

Jirina takes her to the hammock, bending down to set her in it just as Ria grips her shirt.

"Lay with me a while?"

Brief hesitation, then a nod. With care she situates them together, Ria at her side per the usual. The human tucks as close as she physically can, finding one of Jirina's hands to hold between her own. Jirina rocks the hammock with one leg, kissing the top of her head as her free hand pets her hair.

"I love you."

For a moment the she-Org freezes, eyes wide behind the visor as her heart rate spikes. Part of her can't help but feel like she misheard, but the greater part is quite certain, just disbelieving.

"I...I love you too." And she can feel Ria smiling, her cheek swelling against her chest at the reply.

 _(III)_

They would spend two months traveling Wyldern. They started north to Michi, a town Ria had never visited and only marginally liked. Further north from there brings them to the Banori River. While they could have commissioned a boat from the garrison, they choose to walk the banks instead. This trip wasn't just about sight seeing, it was about time. Time together, time away, just spending time.

Ria finds the Banori Caves just as wondrous as she had always heard them to be. They would spend more than a week there under the Banori's generosity. Ria would spend most of their time there exploring, looking for strangers to make friends with and a local lore from anyone willing to share. She almost cried when the left for the Toparri Groves.

The Toparri would keep them for almost a month. She just couldn't tear Ria away from the people or the gigantic mushrooms they called home. Her favorite pass time was just to walk among them, feeling them, taking in their unique energy. And Jirina is more than content to watch, satisfied to see her so happy.

From the groves they would take the uncharted path between the spires that Jirina had taken with Xero and the others some...heavens, nine years ago? Goodness, the time. She regaled Ria with the tale as they worked their way southward, towards Big Mesa. The pass spits them out where the Merchant's Path and the Emperor's Road fork. They take the Emperor's Road, staying a few hours at the council building. Not just for Ria to see, but also so she could acquire a copy of the runes she had developed.

Cyl Og Sul greets them like an old friend, many of the soldiers on duty still familiar enough to greet them as they come through the gates. They keep to the merchant's quarter for the most part, stopping for a meal and to purchase another Devorian blanket. Now Ria would have her own and Jirina could have hers back. Their last stop is the Org-Ta outpost, staying the night with Mezzick and his wife.

They leave early for the Queen's Road, taking it in no great hurry and little conversation. What words pass between them are pleasant yet brief.

"So what did you think?"

Ria smiles before she answers, seemingly content. "Wyldern really is beautiful. Thank you for this."

"My pleasure." an exaggerated nod, almost like a bow in acceptance of gratitude. Jirina clears her throat after a moment. "Would you like to go to the lake with me? It's only a little further from home."

"Ah, um," she sputters, her body jerking as Habibi tires of walking and leaps up on her shoulder. "O-okay."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just, you know, I've never been."

"So what are you looking so worried about?" Jirina looks at her sideways, suspicious.

"N-nothing at all. Please, lead the way."

Jirina laughs a little, curious but refusing to press any further.

All Ria can think when they reach Lake J'rr is how cold it looks. She hugs herself, cringing a little at the black looking water. Her eyes cut to Jirina as she hears her dropping her heavy travel bag on the bank, brows lifting towards her hairline as she watches the former empress start to strip down.

Jirina can feel eyes on her and tries to hide a little smirk tempting the edge of her mouth. She doesn't address them until she pulls her tunic over her head. "You're not going in with your clothes on, woman."

"Oh," she giggles, sounding nervous, "of course not."

"What's the matter?"

"Just...n-nothing."

"Come on, I want to teach you how to fish."

Ria's face flushes bright red and Jirina starts stepping towards her, half naked. She can't help but stare, never having or taking the opportunity to do so before. Did she wear nothing under her clothes? As long as they had lived together one thinks she should know this. As she stands there, looming with her arms crossed, Ria can only manage to move her jaw. No words emerge.

"Out with it." Jirina demands gently.

"I...n-never learned to swim."

"Oh. Is that all? Well then," her posture relaxes, "suppose I teach you to do that first?"

"W-well I, uh," her fingers tangle together, fussing, "you know...I don't know."

"You'd best get out of that dress, less I do it for you."

The human chokes, much to Jirina's amusement. "Why do you have to say things like that?"

"Trying my hand at flirting. How is it?" and she laughs aloud when Ria has no answer, just an embarrassed grumble as she starts unwinding her shayla. She neatly folds each article of clothing and stacks them atop her travel bag. Standing up straight she resists a natural urge to cover herself, shoulders tense and arms trying but simply unable. A wrap conceals her breasts and a loincloth conceals her nethers, but that is still too little to be wearing outside. Her face is so red.

"Come on now, the water isn't that cold." Jirina waves, gesturing for her to follow.

"How deep is it?"

"It's only up to my waist, see?"

"You do realize I'm not as tall as you?" Jirina's waist is easily at the same level as Ria's chin.

A little laugh at her scrunched frown. "My apologies, but you can't swim on land. Do I have to come and get you?"

"N-no!" she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, taking little steps to the waters edge and touching it with one foot. A sharp shiver rolls up her spine and down again. A moment's hesitation before she forces herself to take one big step forward and into the water. The subsequent squeak echoes.

"It's easier than you think." Jirina tries, coming a little closer to the bank. "Try and swim to me."

"Like I said, I don't know how."

"Look at Habibi. He can do it."

Ria's head snaps to the side to see the porterkatt doing just that, swimming in the water, head poking above the surface with all four paws paddling beneath him.

"It's just like that."

"Really? It looks ridiculous."

"But it works. Now get over here."

Ria's swearing under her breath in her mother tongue as she takes more tiny steps deeper into the water. Gooseflesh ripples across her skin as the water works higher and higher. She stops when it reaches her waist, her face still firm with some wordless discomfort.

"There's a reason I was born in a desert." she grumbles, then flinches, arms snapping above her head. "What did I step in?!"

Jirina watches and laughs quietly behind one hand, unfazed by the way the human scowls at her. She continues to encourage her further from the bank, still chuckling as the water reaches her shoulders and she fights to keep her chin dry.

"Come now, that's plenty deep enough."

"Aren't I supposed to start floating at some point?"

"Stretch yourself out and push with your feet."

Ria tries and sputters, pulling more laughter from the she-Org. After a tense few moments of awkward splashing and curses Ria starts mimicking the posture and actions of the cat. "I feel _absurd_."

"Far less absurd than if you were drowning, I would wager." now the she-Org holds out her arms, waiting for Ria to get close enough. Instead of gathering her up, she bends and eases her hands palm-up beneath her. "Now start reaching out in front of you. Cup your hands and pull them back towards you...that's it."

The human finds a little confidence knowing she's right there, her hands half pressing up against her stomach. Though she still feels a little ridiculous doing this, it isn't _so_ bad now.

"You're a quick study." Jirina smiles, feeling proud.

"It helps to have the right teacher."

"This is how my father taught me." Jirina subconsciously latches onto the memory, stomaching the little pain that it hefts on her heart. But she smiles, the calming happiness greater than the hurt for a change. Without thinking she draws her hands back towards her. "You've got it."

"I...oh. I thought this was going to be difficult?"

"All that complaining must have confused you." a little chuckle with an arching brow. "Now come, I'll show you where the fish are."

And while she works to keep up, Ria quietly curses how long the other woman's legs are.

Jirina eases onto her knees in the shallows, encouraging her over into the dark green brown cloud of weeds beneath the surface. This way they are almost the same height, and she can show Ria the fine points of catching fish. Hunched behind the human she guides her smaller hands with her own, talking quietly about how even though the fish can't see, they are extremely sensitive to movement, the fluctuation of water around them. The trick is in closing your hands as quickly as possible while trying to lift them out of the water at the same time.

Ria tries her best to listen to instruction, but it's hard with Jirina's bare breasts against her back, their close and tucking proximity to each other along with the way she speaks so softly. The human has always marveled at her size, marveling that eventually evolved into some quiet desire to be wrapped up in her arms and enveloped in all her strength. She has to wonder if Jirina can feel her heart beat, knowing its hard and fast.

The two of them sit and wait for the better part of an hour. Jirina offers her the chance to quiet once or twice, both times Ria refuses with a curt shake of her head, eyes always fixed on the water. Over her shoulder the former empress smiles. Finally a fish comes along, slow and lazy as its tail moves back and forth without worry or hurry. Both of them watch it intently.

"Wait...wait," Jirina whispers, "...not yet."

Ria presses her bottom lip between her teeth, anxious. The big white blur glides across her open arms, its belly brushing her forearms.

"... _Now_." Jirina tenses a the shift in weight, Ria pulling with all her strength. She matches her effort, arms cinching around her little waist and pulling back, lifting with her legs. She pulls her right out of the water, the mud giving under her and threatening to set her off balance. Ria's legs pull up and close to her chest, effectively trapping the fish wriggling in her arms. The smaller woman shrieks with delight in her mother tongue. The fish is big enough for Jirina to feel when it whips its tail, almost half as long as Ria is tall. The she-Org manages to the bank, putting Ria on solid ground where she doesn't feel like settling, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Habibi sits nearby, watching and licking his mouth.

"I don't think even my father ever caught one that big." Jirina crosses her arms, smiling with approval.

"You're just saying that...it is pretty big, isn't it?" just when she thinks she has the giggles under control, they start again. "So what do we do with it?"

"We eat it...unless you have another idea?"

"Well...this is more than we need. Even with Habibi."

"Fair enough." she nods. "Toss it back then?"

"Would you be mad if I did?"

" _You_ caught it. Do as you please." In truth, she's more than happy knowing Ria can do this. If worse came to worse, she could survive here. _When you love them, teach them._ Her heart clenches at the faint echo of her father's words in her head.

Ria chooses to release the fish, stepping into the shallows before opening her arms and letting it jackknife away. But they won't leave the lake empty handed, aiming to catch a couple of small ones to take home for supper. They make the walk back to Pay's Hom side by side, not speaking. Not needing to as they're thinking much the same thing. As much as they had both enjoyed the journey, it was good to be home.

Author's Note: Next chapter will be the last of it. I mean it this time. Strange. I had fun writing this, though I know deep down it isn't my best work. Ah well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine**

Jirina pushes through the door, ducking a little as she steps into the darkness inside. She pulls on a bit of aether, casting it from her fingertips to the lamp on the wall, igniting it. Ria exhales with a happy groan as she steps inside, dropping her travel bag near the door before pulling it shut.

"I could sleep for a week." she slouches towards the hammock, hearing it calling her. She can't wait to wrap herself up in her new blanket.

"Get out of those damp clothes first." Jirina demands casually. She drops her bag as well once the fish is on the table. She sits down, aiming to clean them.

"Aren't your clothes wet too?"

"It can wait."

"Suit yourself."

Jirina busies herself with her task, slow and steady with a knife to the dead animal's stomach. She loses track of anything else going on around her, sight and sound alike, at least, until Ria comes into view. At first she doesn't notice anything out of order. Then her hands pause, the edge of the blade just a breath from biting into one finger.

"...What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? You'll need a fire to cook anything. Silly woman." Ria giggles as if nothing is amiss, though her cat like grin hints at the contrary as she kneels in front of the stove.

Jirina inhales and exhales as evenly as possible. "Isn't it more wise to meddle with fire with one's clothes _on_?"

She laughs, standing up. "You just told me to get out of my damp dress...and so I have."

Jirina just gawks, unable to find a proper response, swallowing hard when Ria winks at her. As she walks back towards her travel bag, Jirina finds herself staring at a cluster of rich crimson tattoos. A controlled chaos of rings and petals and what look to be small stars that come together to form a larger design, like a sun. She never knew Ria had such a thing on her and it grabs her attention with no sign of letting go. Then again, she had never seen Ria completely naked. The wrap around her breasts had kept it concealed, and when it didn't Jirina offered up the courtesy to keep her head turned.

"Isn't this a little...forward to be considered flirting?" Jirina forces out, trying to focus on her work again.

"I suppose. Is it working?"

Jirina clears her throat. "Depends on what you want. Because I can't help but sense that this is not the way you would request a nap in the hammock."

She laughs, unfurling the Devorian blanket and pulling it around her shoulders. It nearly swallows her. "Your intuition is spot on."

"Th-then," her face flushes blue just before she shakes her head. "If I cut myself, I'm blaming you." A little, breathy laugh.

"Then you had better focus on _that_ , hadn't you? I'll unpack our things while you do."

Jirina starts to bite down on her lip to keep herself focused, watching her hands instead of Ria's bare backside every time it crosses her area of sight. She's initially thankful that the visor conceals the movement of her eyes, but deep down she knows Ria _expects_ her to watch. She wasn't so dense as to believe anything to the contrary. With the guts and bones pulled and disposed of -that is, given to the cat- Jirina jerks out of her chair to put the meat into the large pot on the stove. After adding some water she drops the lid on it.

"Could I have my blanket?"

Ria complies, pausing when she turns back to see Jirina twisting out of her shirt.

"What? You don't think two can play this game?"

"It's not that," she grins, "I just didn't expect you to want to play along." and the expression falters a little.

"Why wouldn't I? Can't let you have all the fun."

In truth, Ria hadn't the slightest idea how this would turn out. Part of her expected it to go just as it is, comfortably awkward, laughable. But another part was expecting a disaster. How far could she take this before Jirina would undoubtedly begin to resist and break away from her like when she has her nightmares? The mage wants so badly to love her _physically_ -the only way she can think of to express her strongest feelings for her- but she is so afraid to try.

Ria doesn't let it show. She smiles and laughs, taking Jirina up on her offer to sit with her, take in the warmth coming off the stove. They settle on the floor, Jirina's back braced against the wall with Ria between her thighs, her back to her, the blanket the only thing between them. Jirina's arms and ankles fold together, effectively trapping Ria in place. Not that she minds. They talk and cuddle and kiss, simply enjoying one another's presence now surrounded in the comfort of home. Secluded and secure. The intimacy is broken only long enough for them to eat, and still they do so on the floor, fitted together like pages in a book.

Jirina takes off her visor as she feels sleep threatening, letting her cheek rest against the warm silk of Ria's hair, kissing there as she sighs in comfort. She really could fall asleep like this, just as easily if not more so than she could in her own bed, but she makes an effort to stay awake. For her. And for the curiosity of what the human is up to. Though she would have to try a little harder as she just misses Ria's soft words. She jerks her consciousness back up. "Hm?"

"...I'm ready." Ria repeats.

A hum of acknowledgment. Then "...For what?"

Ria swallows, simmering heat rushing into her face. "...T-to be with you."

"But you're...oh." her breath catches and she shifts, now fully awake again. "I see."

"I-if you're not...it's okay. We don't...I know you-,"

"Hush." her grip tightens a little as she shifts again, stretching out and situating Ria against her chest. "I need to think."

Ria's heart pounds, hands curling into fists beneath the blanket. She's done it now, she did something wrong and ruined it all. Regret mingles with the butterflies in her stomach, either killing them or making them ten times larger. It threatens to make her sick.

"It isn't...that I don't want to."

Ria tenses at the unexpected vibration of her voice.

"Saying as much would be a lie. I just," Jirina kisses her temple, trying to find the words, "...I don't know... _how_."

The human sputters, initially baffled. "It's...it's not that complicated."

One thin sable brow lifts. "Are you offering to show me?"

Ria's hands wring together under the blanket, her face reddening. "I...I-I could."

A tense moment of quiet, then "Would it please you?"

Hell of a question. "I certainly hope so." she answers with a nervous laugh. A sound that Jirina softly adds to.

"So...what would you have me do?"

"Could...could we move to the hammock?"

"Very well. If it flips, don't blame me." The blanket falls from around her as she starts shifting to put her feet beneath her.

 _Oh gods, please don't let it flip_. Ria swallows as Jirina gathers her up, trying to cover up her anxiety with a bright laugh. When that doesn't work she demands a kiss, cupping the she-Org's face with both hands. Jirina carefully navigates her way to Ria's bed, thinking twice before setting her down first with the intent to move over her. Too risky, maybe another time when they're better versed with each other. Instead she turns her back to the hammock and eases into it, treating it more like a chair with both feet on the floor. Ria follows along, like she can read her mind, somehow managing to straddle the breadth of Jirina's thighs. A shiver runs up her spine at the heavy warmth of the she-Org's palms smoothing over her legs under the blanket. With her lip pressed between her teeth she meets Jirina's gaze, finding restrained anticipation and curiosity.

"So?"

"So..." Ria takes a quick breath, trying not to stare in spite of the incredible desire to.

"Teach me."

She shudders, a ripple of energy washing over her at the gentle order. It's the first time anyone has told her what to do while at the same time leaving her with all the power. Jirina is willingly allowing herself to be vulnerable and giving _her_ permission to take advantage. Sweet gods on high...

"W-well...this usually when we start kissing and getting under one another's clothes,"

"At least the clothing is taken care of...mostly. May I?" one big hand works out from beneath the blanket a takes the edge of it between two fingers.

Ria nods, a shiver skating over her skin as the heavy fabric falls away and gathers at the small of her back.

"And you're not close enough for kissing." With both hands she grips the blanket and gives one hard tug, pulling the human along until their hips settle together with a tight squeak from the smaller woman. "Better."

Ria covers up her fresh case of nerves with a fit of giggles, leaning forward enough to need her arms for support, their bodies lining up from navel to ribs to breasts to satisfied smirks. Jirina lifts her head, closing the shrinking space between their lips, feeling brief hesitation to equal her own before the warm comfort settles in. Her hands move to Ria's thighs again, a tingle in her fingertips at the softness of her skin. Something charges through her -desire maybe- as Ria's thin fingers line her jaw, tipping her chin and coaxing her mouth a little wider to deepen the kiss. She likes the sound of the mage's breath hitching as the vibration of a satisfied purr rumbles through her.

"What's next?"

Ria doesn't answer the whisper with words. Her hands work down the length of Jirina's throat, feeling the powerful pulse under her thumbs before her palms flatten at her thick collarbones. Spreading over her shoulders, heavy biceps and forearms she grips one of Jirina's wrists, her free hand molding over the other with her fingertips between her knuckles. With a little tug she pulls her palm across her thigh, to her hip and up to thrum her ribs. Jirina takes direction easily, smirking a little against her lips when she realizes what she's asking for. She goes the neck, slipping her fingers beneath her hair and cupping the back of her head. Her fingers curl against her scalp and pull her that much tighter into the kiss.

"I like that," Ria pants against her mouth.

Jirina just grins, cheeks flushing blue. "What else would you like?"

"More,"

"Kissing or touching?"

" _Both_."

"Show me."

The aching heat pooling between Ria's legs is starting to cloud her thoughts, making her actions more instinctual than calculated. Something she just isn't used to, and the shock of it comes through when she firmly takes both of Jirina's wrists in her hands and practically forces her large hands over her breasts. For a split seconds she frets.

"I-is this too fast? I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"We can stop if-,"

"It's all right. If that changes, I'll tell you." She flexes her fingers, testing, gentle, curious. "So...what do I..."

"Well...I asked for more touching and kissing, didn't I?"

Intrigue lifts one sable brow as she beds forward, taking Ria's lips again as her hands clasp a little tighter. She watches Ria's face, the way her features twist as she tests her, the pads of her thumbs finding firm nipples to toy with. She likes the noises Ria is making, her now swollen bottom lip still caught between her teeth as she squirms in her lap. Jirina catches the movement in her throat as she swallows, chasing after it with her mouth.

Jirina tenses at the loud gasp Ria makes. "Did that hurt?"

"N-no. That was good. I'm all right."

"Shall I do it again?"

" _Please_."

Jirina shivers at the tight scratch of Ria's nails against her scalp as she repeats the action, carefully closing her teeth around a bit of skin. Quick nips and suckling kisses draw blood to the surface, leaving little bruises. Ria's reaction makes her grimace, wincing with a growl against the mage's skin. " _Don't_. Pull. My hair."

"S-sorry, sorry." she whimpers, shivering and kissing the crown of her head, moving her hands to her shoulders, fingers hooking into her tough hide instead.

"That's better." her voice softens to a purr again, liking the gentle bite of her nails at the base of her neck. Jirina gets back to her task, leaving the love bites as she eases her attention to her collarbone. She hunches forward, forcing Ria to lean back farther, farther, until her balance is out of her hands and her weight relies on Jirina. The former empress looks up as her powerful arms line the smaller woman's spine, seeing the curious concern in Ria's eyes and meeting it with a playful curl at the corner of her mouth. She loves the feeling of Ria's legs cinching around her waist, how she grips her shoulders, and the way her stomach flutters with staggering gasps as she kisses her there.

Ria watches her, eyelids fluttering as raw desire and arousal wrack her body. Her heart pounds behind her ribs, her entire form throbbing with her heated blood. She can't help her reaction as Jirina tastes one nipple with a flick of her dark blue tongue, her toes curling as a Siltherian oath jumps through a tight jaw. When the she-Org closes her mouth around the tender token she almost screams, biting her lip to keep it contained.

"Where else?"

"What?" Ria can barely think, much less hear.

"Where else can I touch you?" Jirina's curiosity keeps pulling her eyes down her stomach, to where her trembling thighs meet, but she doesn't know why. For a moment Ria just stares back at her, watching as her bright blue eyes flicker down and then up again. The mage sputters.

"Have you not...

"N-no, no...once. It was just a fling," she explains quickly, "It's all right."

Jirina nods. "Show me how."

Ria doesn't wait for her to lift her up, her body bends with grace as she takes Jirina's face in her hands again and pulls her into a needy kiss. All the while she tries to move, shifting her position so she no longer straddles her lap but sits, leaning into one bracing arm. Still together she blindly finds Jirina's other hand and takes hold of it carefully, cherishing its weight. She kisses the palm once she's able, feeling a fresh hot jolt through her abdomen at the look of awe on the she-Org's face. Then she guides her hand down, over her breast and stomach, leaving it to its own intent on the swell of her hip.

An intrigued hum rolls out of her, fingers flexing. "This is nice." Jirina moves her hand around, gripping Ria's backside as the mage lifts her knees. "Oh, this is even better. It fits my hand."

"Are you saying I have a big butt?" their foreheads touch, she tries not to laugh.

"I'm saying that it's perfect."

"...Oh. Thank you."

Jirina just grins before continuing. She watches Ria's face again as her hand moves across her body at the will of her own curiosity and the growing tightness of the mage's brow. She plays with her thighs with smooth fingers and the blunt of her nails, making the smaller woman jump in her arms. Jirina traces her curves and furrows with gentle study, pulling a whimpered form of her name from Ria's parted lips. One knuckle pushes through the nest of soft curls and her fingers hook the back of her neck, pulling Jirina into a kiss that's almost too insistent.

"Here?"

Ria only nods, eyes screwed shut and her head resting on Jirina's collarbone. Without encouragement Ria takes her hand again, lining up their fingers, and offers silent direction. Only now does she fully realize _just how large_ the former empress' hand is. Just her palm is enough to cover her. Jirina feels her pulse jump at the heat she finds, strangely tempted to curl her fingers but too wary of doing something wrong to indulge the thought. Ria's hand is quick to assure her, as if the other woman can read her thoughts, her digits gently pressing down on her own. A little gasp works out of her mouth at the wet heat that draws her in, and the sound Ria makes at the gentle penetration shatters any other thought she might have. She fixates on that sound and the task of getting the human to make it again.

Ria's body bows against her hand, chest pressing upward, muscles tight with want. It feels like falling until she wraps both arms around Jirina's neck, secure in her strength as she mindlessly bucks into her palm. She bites at the she-Org's throat, not too hard, but just enough to make the skin blush blue. Jirina's hand works slow inside of her, but it's enough. It's more than enough. Her fingers are long, strong, steady, and that's what she wants. What she _needs_. Her mind is alight with sensation, and all she can do is chant "I love you" against her neck. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Jirina can't stop smiling, smug and comfortable, loving the feel of Ria and her reactions. Goosebumps ripple across her skin at the request of Ria's panting breaths, the scratch of her nails. Everything about her is beautiful and warm and bright. Jirina feels the hot static of her aether pulsing in time with her heart, their energy joining in a flurry of color that only they can see. The human's kisses are hungry, devouring and biting, and she loves it. Almost as much as she loves that sound, that tearing, high-pitched cry that emerges from Ria as her body shudders and tightens around her.

Ria can't focus, her thoughts like a flock of birds scattering. All she can do is wait out the tiny tremors and the thundering of her heart as Jirina moves her around, stretching both of them out on the hammock, one big arm settling around her waist and pulling. Ria kisses at her collarbone, slick palms flat against her chest. Comfort and warmth envelope her as a blanket is pulled up, covering them both.

"Are you all right?"

Ria nods, flinching a little at the light itch of stray hairs being pushed from her face. She slurs through something in her mother language, her tongue suddenly lazy.

"Was all that...it was good?"

Ria laughs, smiling. "Y-yes, thank you." she dips her chin, their sweaty foreheads touching. "I...didn't realize how badly I needed that."

"Hm. Glad I could lend a helping hand."

Ria freezes, eyes snapping open and meeting Jirina's on the level. "You didn't,"

Jirina can only smirk.

"Gods on high," she pushes against her, a weak effort. "Let me go, I'm leaving,"

"Come now,"

"No, I _will not_ be punned in such a compromising position," and though she continues pushing, Jirina works both arms tighter around her, pulling her back. She meets Ria's meager resistance with gentle strength, laughing when she fights back. She quiets her protests with kisses.

"I've done you no real harm, woman. As if I ever could,"

"I'm small and helpless...I embarrass easily." she plays off the excuse by tucking her chin, subduing herself and curling up against Jirina's chest.

"Yet your lies are as big as me." a little chuckle. With one finger beneath her chin she encourages Ria to look at her, amused at her waiting grin. "Are you satisfied?"

"I...yes, I am." she slips her hand into Jirina's, fingers lacing together. "For now."

"Oh?" one sable brow lifts. "Suppose I still have more to learn then."

"But you're catching on quick." _Very_ quick. "You're off to a great start."

"Good to know."

There's a stretch of quiet, Ria worrying her bottom lip between her teeth with her eyes low and away. "So,"

"Hm?"

"...Can I...do you want me to-,"

"No."

Ria feels her body tighten and her expression stretch as the heat leaves her face. "W-was it something I-,"

"It's not you. I enjoyed this." Jirina assures her. "But I'm still trying to...decipher all these new feelings. I've never been with someone like this," not of her own will, "never felt the urge that you seem to and...I need time. You've done no wrong, Ria, I promise."

Ria thinks for a moment before accepting her words, their weight. Jirina had lived most of her life shoulder to shoulder with violence and decimation against her and her kind. For so long there was no such thing as love -of any kind- only misery. She shouldn't expect all of that to come undone so quickly. Still she wears an uneasy mask of uncertainty. "You're sure?"

"I am. All I ask is that you find patience for me. Please." But as certain as she appears, she can't meet Ria's eyes. "I don't mean to disappoint you."

"You haven't. You just...I was worried. For a moment..." she swallows, "I felt...unwanted."

"What?"

"Silly, I know," a nervous laugh. "It's just...you could call it my weakness."

Though Jirina wasn't going to call it anything. It isn't her place to judge, and she finds the worry an understandable one. "Is it because of your...fling?"

"Well, she's part of it, yes."

"Did you love her?"

"Not the same way I love you." she shakes her head a little. "But it was...pawning off the burden of the little blind girl. You know."

"I can imagine. I'm sorry." she kisses her forehead. "But that isn't how I feel. I would never leave you."

And somehow Ria knows that to be true, feels it in the marrow of her bones. "So would you rather I didn't...temp you until you've had the time you need?"

"On the contrary, tempt me all you like. I _did_ enjoy this. I enjoyed pleasing you." she smirks, a breathy laugh working between her teeth. "Bringing you this sort of happiness makes me happy as well."

"I would like to do that for you." she wedges her words in, unable to keep them contained.

"I know, and you may. In time. Until then," she kisses her again, on the lips, easy and tender, "just give me patience. That's all I need."

"All right. But no more puns. Not like this. _Promise me_." Ria prods the center of her chest with one firm finger.

"Very well," she rolls her eyes, "you have my word."

They laugh together, talk for a while longer, and eventually fall asleep.

 _(II)_

Xero never expects visitors, so he's naturally surprised whenever a knock on his door echoes through the tower. He always makes an effort to answer in a timely manor, which is quite the task even for him when he has to descend from the loftier floors. Just as unexpected is when said visitors had something for him, such as a package or -in this case- a letter. After offering up a bit of coin to the courier he retreats inside, hurrying to the nearest chair he can think of.

He quickly peels open the parchment, surprised to find lines of Siltherian script. His snowy brows quirk with brief amusement, and they settle as her begins to read. The opening address quickly gives way who the letter is from, as only one person still living calls him brother.

 _My dearest brother,_

 _Ria was kind enough to write this for me, my common letters still aren't quite as presentable as I would like. I hope the letter finds you in light spirits and good fortune, as I wouldn't want the following news to prove too much on your old heart. You should consider this a formal declaration of our divorce._

He laughs a little to himself.

 _It is by no fault of your own so, please, do not take it personally. I still adore you. I would not trade our friendship for anything in any kingdom, but I have chosen to trade out your space in my bed to a more suitable partner. You damn Siltherians are my weakness it would seem._

His snowy brows jump, his lined features stretching, though he still smiles.

 _I pray you not dwell on the matter too long, or on me, as I assure you I am well cared for and well loved. Ria is a fine woman I believe even you could find approval for and I would love for you to meet. Perhaps an arrangement to do just that is in order, it has been much too long since we have seen each other. I miss teasing you._

Xero brings a closed fist to his mouth as he starts to laugh again.

 _In closing I will apologize for any discomfort this letter might have brought you and hope that it passes in time. I pray we can still be friends as you are one of the finest I have ever had, I would hate to lose that over a woman coming between us._

He tilts back his head to let out an echoing "Hah!". But as he reads the last lines of the letter his expression sobers, softens.

 _I think it has finally happened, old man, I have found my way home. It's a wonderful place to be. All love and respect, Jirina Stone Soul._

Xero laughs again, quietly, though now his eyes burn with the onset of happy tears. He folds the letter with care, stowing it away in a private place like a cherished memento. Briefly he entertains the idea of framing it, displaying it as physical proof that Jirina indeed has a sense of humor. A rare treasure to say the least. But he decides against it, thinking this little bit of fun between them deserves a mote more respect. Instead he gathers a few essentials into a bag and leaves his tower, wishing to cover as much ground as possible before it is too dark to see.

Author's Note: Well, that's it. I think I've satisfied my Craveyard fixation for now. I'll admit I feel like the quality of this diminished at the end, then again, I still feel like my writing style is changing. I'm leaving more up to the reader in terms of narrative. Although that can be perceived as laziness. In any case, it's finished and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
